(Part 3) Top products from r/beyondthebump

I have a Spectra S1 and love it. Only difference between S2 and S1 is the S1 has a rechargeable battery- this was huge for me as I like that I don’t have to turn it off and unhook myself to just go grab water or something. Once you know what flange size you need, I’d recommend getting an extra set of parts as well. As an FYI the duckbill valves need to be replaced every couple months as they will eventually get little tears at the opening.

I have a couple Elvies as well which I mainly use to pump if I’m driving and need to pump at that time. I don’t get as much as I get with the spectra.

Boon grass also SO HELPFUL for drying all the little pieces. I thought it was just a frivolous registry item but it is CLUTCH.

I’d also recommend getting a haakaa (editing to add: this one specifically has worked best for me, the older styles have a weird neck that doesn’t suction as completely: https://www.amazon.com/Haakaa-Breast-Manual-Silicone-Breastfeeding/dp/B07CWK4S5W) to catch letdown - you put it on one breast while feeding from the other, and make sure to switch it to the other breast when you switch sides so it’s not ALL foremilk. It’s been huge for helping me build up a stash- I get 1-2 oz extra at each feeding without spending any extra time, because it just catches what would be dripping out anyway. Sometimes I’ll hand express a little extra into it at the end of a feed. You have to wait for the milk to all be at the same temperature before you can combine it, but every 1-2 days I have enough for a whole bottle and then I’ll give that to hubs to use and pump a full bottle’s worth to keep in the freezer or fridge depending on what needs we have coming up. I loved it so much that I just bought like 4 of them so that when I’m home all day on the weekend I have a clean one to grab for every feed.

If you are returning to work, find out if your lactation space has a pump there. Mine has a Medela symphony, so I got a set of parts for it so that I wouldn’t have to schlep the spectra around. It works great.

If you do need to carry your spectra around and want a professional looking bag, the Sarah Wells bags are great.

FWIW, a friend of mine got the Medela pump in style and HATES it. She says the Symphony works great for her, and she likes the baby Buddha as well. I find the Symphony to be comparable to the spectra, but wasn’t about to rent that giant hospital grade thing to keep at home.

Okay so we bed shared with our son until he was about 11 months, so when I would put him in his crib he hated it and I assumed he was used to our bed mattress. We ended up getting this for his crib to make it a little bit more comfortable. I was a little nervous at first but it’s full of little holes and is super ventilated and not too squishy. It also fills the crib perfectly so there’s no gaps. We started putting him in his crib 7 weeks ago and he sleeps amazing.

I know they make a smaller one as well but it might not be specifically made for the PnP. I was only comfortable with it because he was almost a year old and it genuinely seems very safe. I would only get a supplemental mattress for the PnP if it was going to fit perfectly. But if your daughter sleeps just fine without it then it’s probably not necessary.

We have loved any and all toys made by the company called Green toys because they are made from recycled materials and they are safe in the sense that there is no small parts, no chemicals in the plastic and if my son(s) chews on them I'm not worried. My Step-MIL actually introduced me to them and I am so glad they did. Amazon has a bunch just search "Green Toys".

http://www.amazon.com/aden-anais-Muslin-Stroller-Blanket/dp/B00BMMOKYW/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1394632384&sr=1-1&keywords=aden+and+anais+stroller+blanket We have two of these blankets and I love them. They are the muslin cloth so keeps baby warm but not thick enough to overheat. Plus I love the fact that they are huge which makes them great to cover baby in the carseat or have a floor blanket.

http://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Birdseye-Count-Flatfold-Diapers/dp/B007VBYVVA/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1394632645&sr=1-1&keywords=gerber+cloth+diapers We used these when my oldest was an infant and using them again with my youngest. We primarily use them as burp clothes but we've also used them as wash clothes for cleaning hands and faces. I'm sure there many more uses for them--like turning them into cleaning rags when you no longer need them for baby purposes.

For toddler dishes we really like these http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007HZBOFG/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=1VA53QENRTP66&coliid=I2TQV3KCX2FQSF. The same company makes bowls and sippy cups and I believe utensils (for spoons and forks we use a set made by Oxo). They are durable, and made from recycled materials. They are dishwasher safe I believe (idk because we don't currently have a dishwasher). My son has been known to throw them on the floor and in the sink and they have yet to crack/break. Definitely worth the money in my opinion. Amazon carries them and some Target stores do.

My LO was born june of '17 and we live in the northern midwest. It gets really cold here but we usually have pretty mild winter in November. These are the things we used/did.

We used a jolly jumper artic cover for his carseat. It kept him warm when going to the car from inside and vice-versa. He used his bucket carseat until May. We didn't have to mess with the logistics of keeping him warm in a convertible seat.

His daycare would take him outside if it was over 20° so we got him a Columbia fleece suit to wear outdoors. Similar to this one. https://www.amazon.com/Columbia-Snowtop-Bunting-Punch-Critters/dp/B01N900W7I/ref=mp_s_a_1_11?ie=UTF8&qid=1539299239&sr=8-11&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=columbia+fleece+bunting+for+baby
Hats and mittens were instantly torn off so the hood and hand covers were perfect.

He pretty much lived in carter's fleece sleep and plays. They kept him warm and comfortable. Some people don't recommend fleece because it isn't breathable. We never had an issue with overheating and we used a fleece sleep sack too.

Last year's flu season was terrible. He couldn't get his flu shot until December and the first year they get two shots a month apart. We basically were hermits last winter. My husband and I both got our flu shots in October to try to give him as much protection as possible. We didn't get the flu but dang he brought some bad colds home from daycare. That was definitely something I didn't prepare for. Get a coolmist humidifier, a nose frieda, saline spray and boogie wipes.

Edit: We had hand me down jj cole carseat cover. It added warmth but it was pretty much just a loose blanket that didn't secure to anything. I had horrible anxiety about loose blankets. The jolly jumper cover secured open above his head so I didn't have to worry. https://www.amazon.com/Jolly-Jumper-CarSeat-Attached-Weatherproof/dp/B005LVNS4S/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1539301045&sr=8-3&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=jolly+jumper+artic+car+seat+cover

YAYS:

Chux pads, hands down, were the best purchase we made. Those saved us so much laundry and so many diapers. The link is hit or miss - one box we got was great and quilted, the second box was not quilted and they fall apart more easily. Which really sucks because we're not going through several a day anymore, so it has time to really fall apart before it gets soiled. Even the shitty ones are incredibly helpful.

A Haakaa breast milk catcher. Best money I've ever spent. I stopped using it every day at 11 months PP. 11 months of daily use.

An electronic nail file. I cut too close once, and decided I don't ever want to do that again. It's quiet, it has a little light on it, two speeds, and a bunch of different nail heads.

Stacking cups. Don't know why we even have other toys. Did you know you can throw them and chase after them and then throw them again, mom? You can put them inside each other! You can put them in the toy basket and then take them out and then put them back in again! You can knock them down when mom & dad foolishly stack them up! You can clack them together! You can bang them against EVERYTHING!!

This inflatable tub. It has a little shoehorn for the crotch so you can use it before baby can totally sit up by themselves. We're still using it because my child is dead set on committing suicide in the bathtub.

Sleeved bibs. Or as we like to call them, eatin' ponchos. We got some "art smock" cheaper ones to alternate with, but the Bumkins one is 👌👌👌 so much better. The art smocks are fabric-y on the body, so they stain.

A ring sling. No link because I actually borrowed from my local babywearing community. But I checked out a ring sling back to back to back. My chonker outgrew the Moby wrap I had (which was super hot and a PITA to get on and off) by 3 months when I finally discovered ring slings. Ring slings are like the cool, breezy older sister.

A yoga ball. We spent hours bouncing our child.

NAYS:

This Graco Swing. Well, any swing, but this is the one we had. Of the several swings at daycare, my baby tolerated one kind...for a few minutes. Obviously this is a my baby thing.

A walker. We got one used from a garage sale before we realized they're not really recommended for babies anymore.

Any chew-toy specific type teether.

We're learning as we go and at 5.5 months, we've still got a looooooonnnng road ahead of us. I, too, fall head over heels over some of the stuff I come across - but just last weekend I packed away the rest of my son's 0-3 month clothes as he's officially grown out of them and I shit you not at least 30% of these items were worn once, or less than once. As in never.

My number one rule right now as we make our way through this next size is practicality. Jeans and tops and flannel sleeves might look adorable on the hanger and in my head (because holy shit he looks like a mini husband!) but it's terrible when worn. The jeans are stiff and restricting. The shirt rides up when I hold him. And the flannel bunches up around his head and just gets in the way. Ain't nobody got time for that, especially when he's just going to be at daycare all day, so I reach for a sleep n' play or a onesie with stretchy pants instead. And that's basically what he lives in now.

To avoid spending all the monies, I basically shop at Target or on Amazon. White Gerber onesies are my jam because they can be bleached and go with everything. When it comes to cute clothes, I only buy when I have a specific reason - holiday, family event, that sort of thing, and even then I... just stay out of the mall.

As far as organization, I have everything within arms reach of his changing table. I do all outfit changes here, so it's just practical - which, of course, satisfies my #1 rule above. We use the Ikea Hemnes dresser with a Hatch Baby Changing Pad. Dude's clothing accoutrement are stored using Ikea Scubb dividers in the top 4 drawers of his dresser as such -

Drawer #'s 1&2 - Diapers/Wipes/Spare Covers and Sleep Sacks/Footless Sleepers, Footie Sleep n/ Plays, Sleep Gowns, Tie Dyed Play Onesies

Drawer #'s 3 &4 - Rompers, Tops (the impractical items I bought before I knew better), Short Sleeved Onesies and Pants, Socks, Long Sleeved Onesies.

That's it for his clothes. He's got a hoodie or two but we're in SoCal and it's starting to warm up so I'm not anticipating needing any more.

As far as his "other stuff" - that's stored in the middle drawers.

Drawer #5 - Burp Rags (the all white drawer - these are the Gerber Birdseye Flatfolds, which are hands down the greatest burp rags ever. And my son is a SPIT UP KING. We go through 30 of these in a week), Receiving blankets, Muslin Swaddles, Tula Cotton Swaddles, Copper Pearl Burp Cloths (these are great as a barrier when I wear him in the Tula), smaller burp rags.

Drawer #6 - The STUFF drawer. Hospital blankets tucked in the back, hooded towels, extra products, wash rags, swim diapers/beanies, and bandanna bibs. Again, my son spits up like it's going out of style, so we've got about 30 of these that we go through on a weekly basis.

But, anyway, this is basically our system. His laundry is done once a week, and the organizers help keep everything contained once we've gotten down to the bones of his duds. It works well, but the one downside is that my husband legit refuses to put the boy's clothes away because he claims it's too intimidating. I'm a bit of a control freak though so I don't terribly mind having to do this part myself.

Oh my god I can so relate to this. To get over it, I can't recommend this monitor enough. It beeps if no movement/breathing is detected for 15 seconds, and it's allowed me to feel so much better when the baby is sleeping. I see now that there is a version of this that comes with a video monitor, which I didn't see when I bought mine, but looks pretty awesome.

The one drawback to this monitor is that it's pretty stationary since it needs to be plugged in and there are cords, so it doesn't work if you have your baby sleeping in several places. For something more mobile, I've heard good things about the Snuza monitor that you clip onto the baby's diaper and it vibrates and has an alarm if it senses no movement.

Note that for both kinds of monitors, having anything that moves in the crib (like a mobile) or using it when baby is in a swing or bed sharing (in the case of the Snuza) can interfere with effectiveness.

Hope that helps!

Don't know that I'll be adding anything new, but here's what helps with our son (almost 6 months):

Swaddling

This sound machine, specifically the ocean waves sound. The projection also helps sometimes.

Singing his lullaby Goodnight, Demon Slayer

These pacifiers

Holding him up in a burping position and walking around.

Rubbing his belly in a clockwise or downward motion.

Hope it helps and good luck!

Summer Infant Baby Jail for an option to keep kid and toys cleaner, camped with other adults do there were people to hold the baby sometimes, especially packing up. Because of course, you want to leave for the long drive at naptime. It would not have been possible to camp just the 3 of us last summer without a baby meltdown packing up. At 16m he was walking for 3m and listened to voice commands to stay close and we spent time establishing the "boundaries of the site" and we packed everything we possibly could the night before and went bare bones in the morning. He didn't mind being in the tent while we packed up what was inside. I could do some stuff in a front carry, there was the cold day he would not nap except in my wrap, and my ultimate plan after 6m was a back carry while packing or cleaning if he wouldn't cooperate. Our biggest issue this summer has been the tent being too hot for naps, but luckily I trained mine to do walking naps in the stroller that reclines as we approached a year ago I could walk the camp loops, etc and then roll him into the shade with me. For sure the brightness of a tent is sometimes an issue too, including at bedtime so some backup plans for naps is a good idea, they are more important than ever. This last trip instead of 8:30-7:30, he slept 9-6:30, so almost an extra 90 min needed to be made up in napping if he was going to stay on schedule. But we didn't stress too much, we just looked hard for nap cues and sprung into action so he could get the best rest he could. And no more elaborate meals, if it takes more than 15min to prep and cook, it's too long.

We had a wonderful, cooperative 3 year old until about a month ago and then suddenly he stopped listening to anything we said. He started refusing to get in his car seat, or get dressed for dinner, or anything. We started yelling more and feeling horrible about it but we were at our wits end.

A friend of mine recommended this book https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/150113163X/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o06_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I'm about halfway through it and it's honestly amazing. It's been a huge help. It's basically a book of tactics that I can try out to see what works.

This is normal. One thing you can do is to play white noise or a loud fan while you two are sleeping. This has several benefits. First, it helps LO sleep better. It helps her transition through sleep cycles. It keeps her calm. Second, it helps you not hear every little grunt or sound, so you aren't so on edge. The grunts and sounds are normal, and aren't going away anytime soon. You'll still check on her a lot, but this might help you sleep a little better. Third, if you use a loud fan, this helps move air around the room, and fans are said to be a SIDS "reducer" or whatever (similar recommendation as to keeping the baby in your room, always putting her to sleep on her back on a firm, flat mattress with no blankets or soft toys in the crib, and using a pacifier).

Another option, which isn't actually recommended by the AAP, is to get a monitor like a Snuza, an Owlet, or an Angelcare Monitor. Again, these products generally aren't recommended by the AAP, and aren't "proven" to prevent SIDS, but they seem to get good reviews anecdotally.

Lastly, while what you have described sounds normal, if you feel yourself getting obsessive, extremely anxious, or having intrusive/obsessive thoughts, PLEASE bring them up with your OB. These are very common symptoms of PPD and PPA.

When we’re both home we just shower with her. Usually FH showers her now because she’s over 25 lbs and I couldn’t do it anymore without my arm cramping up by the end. I’ve gotten muscle spasms before and I’m worried I’d get one while holding her and drop her.

If I’m alone I also shower with her, but I put her in her bath seat on the floor on the far end from the shower head. I spray her with water every so often cuz she loves it. And every couple minutes hand her a different bath toy from the collection to keep her interested in staying still.

One thing that helps her from sliding off the seat (this one by angelcare), is that I added one of (these big flat sponges) to give her some more “grippiness” it works really well. It’s kinda annoying to have to set it up somewhere to dry thoroughly but it’s well worth the annoyance.

It’s not just a talk through method, it’s trying to understand where the child is coming from and setting up the child for success in terms of behavior. It’s helpful to understand child development and psychology. Talking through and not using physical punishment does not equate to not setting up firm boundaries and guidelines for your child to encourage good behavior. Here are some helpful books and resources:

https://www.amazon.com/Talk-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/150113163X

http://www.janetlansbury.com/

Definitely take the meds.

Do you know why your SO is anti-meds? I'd probably consider reasoning with him? "Hey, let's try meds for 2 months and then check in and see how I'm doing." You can also say, "1 in 7 women have PPD, my doctor diagnosed me, and I don't feel okay so I want to try them."

I also would recommend adding counseling to the mix. I believe it is reasonable to want a safe space to share your thoughts/frustrations and to take time to understand and validate your feelings. Counselors can oftentimes give you tools to work though things contributing to your sadness.

Here is a link about something called "emotional coaching"... It's geared towards how a parent can handle their child's emotions, but it's true in adult relationships too. One book by this author that I would recommend reading is "And Baby Makes Three" about the transition to parenthood. Might help.

For my little girl, the unconsolable crying ended up being reflux. We didn’t try Zantac until 10 weeks and it made an immediate difference.

For burping her though, I found having her “sit” on my lap and holding her body in my dominate hand and patting her back with the other hand easier than having her rest up on my shoulder and burping.

As far as gas goes, the Windi thing gave her some relief.

I remember those first 10 weeks were a myriad of trial and error to get LO some relief. Honestly, I probably took her to the ped three times by 10 weeks because I couldn’t figure out what else to try and was losing my sanity. Good luck Mama! I know it’s tough!!

So, what I have done is pump one side and nurse the other. That way I'm not stuck in the chair all day long. I usually do it once or twice in the early morning (thats when your milk is usually most plentiful, from 4am on) and it is enough for one solid feed at night.

I also have a fast let down and pumping for just one or two moments on that side can help with the squirt to the back of the throat. A haaka is a nice affordable option for this as it doesn't require lot of cords and tubes.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CWK4S5W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_wJlPDbQZ0BJNJ

I know it's exhausting. I also know you are a great mom for giving it your best.

https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Treetop-Friends-Activity/dp/B0042RU2SW

We got that one and she loved it. It has like 9 or more places to hang toys so you can rotate them as you want and there are no parts to break or need batteries. Comes with a handy pillow for propping baby up while they scream about tummy time and a unbreakable soft mirror thing to look into on the mat as well. Some crinkly leaf bits to grab onto and a squeaker sewn into a flower. A whole bunch of patterns and fun things for them to stare at along with different textures of fabrics. Also, we love owls in this house and it was full of them :)

I have the skip hop forest friends play mat at it's great. Nice colors without being wayyyy too bright

Edit: It's absurdly expensive now, but there are definitely other color options out there that still are skip hop (and the quality is definitely nice)

Can you hear her tummy rumbling when she's upset like that? My LO is only 7 weeks old but I've had a few evenings with her so far when she would just cry uncontrollably, arch her back etc. (normally she's a very calm baby) but I can always hear her tummy rumbling when she's like that so gas seems to be a pretty obvious cause in my case.

I asked my parents for advice and they suggested a gas relieving tube that goes up the butt, according to my dad a similar thing used to really help me as a baby (thanks for the info dad lol). I found this through researching it but I haven't tried it yet, perhaps it's worth a go?

We had this for a car seat cover and loved it-

Jolly Jumper Arctic Sneak-A-Peek Infant CarSeat Cover With Attached Blanket, Weatherproof - Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005LVNS4S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_HptHDbGBSK70B

Also Halo makes nice warm fleece Velcro swaddles. We also had a small thermometer in baby’s room to make sure it didn’t get too cold.

My MIL introduced us to this wonder.

http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Comfy-Bath-Sponge/dp/B000H953Y2/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1381514697&sr=8-3&keywords=bath+sponge

The baby can lie down, be warm because they're laying on a warm wet sponge (drape a cloth over the top of them...) and I felt safe and secure using it because our little guy wasn't slipping and sliding all over the place. I loved this thing.

You definitely want a dedicated sound machine if you plan on using it all night. I would go separate, because where you want the nightlight is not necessarily where you want the sound machine. Our daughter does not use a nightlight yet, but we use the LectroFan white noise machine, although right now they are running a buy one, get one free special on their combined white noise/nightlight that you control with your smartphone on their website, so you could decide if you want light, white noise, or both from each of them.

It's the Baby Bum Diaper Cream Brush formally... I call it the butt spatula because that's what it looks like. It's totally a luxury item at the price, but I love mine hard. I don't get diaper cream under my nails (yuck), and I find the cream goes on thicker and more evenly with said spatula. And it gets into those chubby crotch rolls my kiddo has.

I swear I'm not a schill, I just love this silly little bit of plastic. The theory is that the suction cup keeps it attached... I find that it sort of works. I just clean it off with a wipe at the end of a change and we're good to go.

"And baby makes three" - I've been enjoying that one. I also like his other relationship book - I think he and his wife are very wise and fair.

How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen / Faber

https://www.amazon.com/Talk-Little-Kids-Will-Listen/dp/150113163X

I also loved What to Expect the First Year, Happiest Baby On the Block, and books about Elimination Communication (We read the Diaper Free Baby. I thought it'd be cuckoo, it's pretty down to earth, we use the techniques.... with diapers.) Also Rachel Coley's Begin With A Blanket and Simple Play

Also agree about the baby wearing! If you're wearing baby, they'll ask you to go through the metal detector instead of the X-ray. They tested my hands on both flights too after the metal detector. I didn't have to take baby off or anything. Just my shoes. I wasn't wearing a jacket, so I'm not sure if you'd have to take that off or not.

We checked in our car seat with the luggage. Southwest let's you check in a stroller and car seat for no charge, and it doesn't count against your baggage limits. I think most of the other major airlines do too. We bought the JL Childress padded car seat bag here and that thing is dang awesome. It's padded, so your expensive car seat doesn't get banged up. It has straps so my husband could wear the car seat while I wore baby and we each had hands to roll one suitcase. It's also huuuuge. It fit our infant car seat and the base, and we had room to shove some diaper and wipes packages into the empty car seat. It's nice bc we'll be able to still use it when we switch to a convertible car seat.

Nursing during takeoff and landing helps. Our baby ended up sleeping during the landing. If your flight isn't full, you could lay baby on a travel neck pillow or nursing pillow to give your arms a break. Or wear baby.

Most planes nowadays have a foldout changing table in one of the lavatories. They're not always marked though, so I'd ask the flight attendant which one it's in when you get on so you're not trying to carry baby up and down the aisle during turbulence.

Like others have said it's all about the positive language and setting boundaries in a way that he'll understand. I highly recommend the book "How to talk so little kids will Listen"
How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen: A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7 https://www.amazon.com/dp/150113163X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_BlBxzbHW6Y345

It's a quick read that will give you a lot of great tools and examples of ways to use them. It'll take some time and effort to change your approach and the language you use, but I promise you will see instant results. I have worked with toddlers for the last 8 years and I remember how frustrated I was when I first started. I felt just like you describe. It seemed like I was always saying no and my approach felt negative and ineffective. After taking child development courses and reading a lot of books I gained tools that actually worked and made my days so much easier and happier! Toddlers are still going to test boundaries and you'll have difficult days no matter what, but a different approach will make things so much more enjoyable.

We used a bottle warmer. Way cheaper and easier to clean. We'd make the bottles for the day in the morning, store in the fridge, and pop one in the warmer when he got hungry. Warm bottle in 3 minutes.

https://www.amazon.com/First-Years-Bottle-Warmer-Colors/dp/B00005BXKM

We have this and my toddler loves it. It's like $19 on Amazon. Has songs, White noise etc and its a projector. He LOVES The projector and choosing which one to watch before bed (fish, jungle or sheep). You can have both the noise/music and projector on or just one or the other. And it plugs in. Can set it to turn off after 15,30, or 60 mins. And there's a setting for if baby cries loudly it turns back on by itself. Munchkin Nursery Projector and Sound System, White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006SFUEF2/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_tUCMub0XCFC54

I had a C-section. Here's my list of musts:

Nipple Cream: https://www.amazon.com/Motherlove-Certified-Organic-Cracked-Nursing/dp/B0007CQ726/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?ie=UTF8&qid=1524170982&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=nipplecreams+for+breastfeeding&psc=1

Nursing Pads: https://www.amazon.com/Lansinoh-Ultimate-Protection-Nighttime-Discretion/dp/B0179BQBP0/ref=sr_1_8_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1524171034&sr=8-8&keywords=nursing+pads

Huge drinking cup so you don't have to get up so often: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DGMBG5Q/ref=dp_prsubs_3

Nursing Bras: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B075DBJ53P/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Extra Long phone charging cords: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074296YH3/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Burp Cloths (which are useful for a million things, I bought 3 of the 10-packs and am so glad I did):
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007VBYVVA/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

And my MIL got me this housecoat type thing made of sweatshirt material that was longer than knee length, zipped up, and had 2 massive pockets. I lived in the thing for like a month because I couldn't stand pants after my C-section. Plus it was warm and the pockets were really handy for carrying things (phone, water bottle, burp cloths, etc) while I was holding the baby.

This is the white noise, lullaby, projector system we use. If it wasn't on, any loud car that drives by (her room faces the road), then she wakes up instantly. The projector part seems to get her back to sleep if she wakes up during her nap too. Seems to calm her. It has rain, ocean, white noise, lullabies, it is wonderful and CHEAP! $22, has been well worth it.
https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Nursery-Projector-Sound-System/dp/B006SFUEF2

My baby loves ours! He’s 3.5 months but has loved it for a while already! We have this one: https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Treetop-Friends-Activity/dp/B0042RU2SW/ref=asc_df_B0042RU2SW/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198058909844&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8774663139021550983&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007386&hvtargid=pla-365069349533&psc=1

We don't bring our base, but we use this bag and check the car seat. If you want to bring your base, it can fit the base in it! Plus I always put diapers or coats on top of the car seat (since it flies for free...might as well use up that space!).

https://www.amazon.com/J-L-Childress-Ultimate-Backpack-Padded/dp/B0009RNXNA/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1543333462&sr=8-1-spons&keywords=jl+childress+car+seat+bag&psc=1

I haven't tried the Windi, but I've heard good things from friends.

Can you try switching her to a straw sippy instead of a regular one? My son can't figure out a sippy cup for the life of him but he can drink out of a 360 cup, a straw sippy, a regular adult cup, and a water bottle. You can try giving her whole milk through one of those methods.

What foods do you give her? Maybe she just hasnt' found anything she likes yet?

We used the munchkin duck bathtub
My daughter loved it!! It’s really cute too.

I can speak to the lipase issue -- I brought a bottle warmer to work so I could scald my milk there. It was actually easier than doing it on the stove (although still a pain in the ass).

I don't think there is any actual scientific/health research comparing scalded milk to formula. I will say that, having done a lot of reading over my last year+ of breastfeeding, I think the best evidence shows that the benefits of breastfeeding over formula are small, if they exist at all.

Immunoglobulins that provide immune benefits quickly denature above 70C (158F), so scalding at 180 degrees likely does remove most of the immune benefit.

I still went through the hassle of pumping and scalding, because it seemed like the "right" thing to do at the time, but in retrospect I think I just caused myself a lot of extra hassle that could have been prevented by using formula.

Have you tried using a haakaa? It suctions onto your breast and gathers milk from your let down. So when you breastfeed, you put it on the side the baby isn’t currently using. It’s a really good way to stockpile some bottle feeds, without risking creating and oversupply.

I could usually get an ounce or so per feed. You can combine several sessions to get enough for a bottle, then freeze. Just make sure that the milk is the same temp when combining. So if you already have a container of milk in the fridge, let the new milk cool before adding it to the container. You can leave in the fridge for several days before you need to freeze.

https://www.amazon.com/Haakaa-Breast-Manual-Silicone-Breastfeeding/dp/B07CWK4S5W/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?keywords=breast+pump&qid=1569093074&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyT01OQTkzREZXUTgwJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMzk4MjAyM1RFNFMyMzlEOE9IRyZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwMTYwMjE2NTRUM0s0WElFTTAyJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

Sippy cups can be such a crap shoot. My son is so picky what he drinks out of, but while the reviews are about 50/50 this cup has been wonderful for us: Munchkin Click Lock Weighted Flexi Straw Trainer Cup, Blue, 7 Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00X8BREJS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Yb3qzb4MSAP8A

Now that he's on whole milk we use a normal cup like sippy cup for it and this straw one for water. And that weighted straw meant less frustration for him too. Hope this helps!

Well done! I’m so glad you were able to talk about it.

If it helps, Dr John Gottman has researched and written extensively about marital conflict management and communication. My husband and I are really getting into his book about the transition to parenthood. Check it out.

Sending you the best!

My son is 7 months old and we've been EFF since he was 3 weeks old. Dr. Brown's Formula Pitcher saved my life. We make one batch a day, fill up all the bottles, label the ones going to daycare, and BOOM we're done. He'll take cold bottles, but prefers them warm. If we're home, we pop it in the bottle warmer right before we give it to him. If we're on the go, we pack the bottle(s) in his insulated lunch box with an icepack. We clean them all at the end of the day, along with the pitcher, just with hot soapy water.

We bought and really like this one. Has a USB plug so you can use AC with a wall adapter or an external battery. Doesn't have an internal battery though. It's truly continuous and doesn't loop. Lots of different white (brown, etc...) And fan types.


https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E6D6LQY/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_QqrEDbGKH0JVF

A sound machine is a must! I love my lectrofan so much, we have 2. Adaptive Sound Technologies LectroFan High Fidelity White Noise Sound Machine with 20 Unique Non-Looping Fan and White Noise Sounds and Sleep Timer https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E6D6LQY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_IMcUCbW93XSAB

Kid logic is strange, but your comment made me think of this inflatable bath- it's the best of both worlds!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000066665/ref=mp_s_a_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1506090322&sr=8-3&keywords=duck+bath&dpPl=1&dpID=41-FJJb7WKL&ref=plSrch

we bought this one: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0089ME1K6/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 (seems to be out of stock now? no idea.) Annoyingly, it was pretty much the cost of the mattress, but we figure if we get sleep and he's happier - he's gonna spend a year or two on it anyway.

Summer Infant Pop 'n Play Portable Playard https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KBGTRAC/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_0sCBwbBJ759YM

This one! It's amazing. Sets up and tears down in less than a minute, no tools or anything, and is big enough so he doesn't feel trapped like in the pack n play / not so huge that it takes up my whole living room

Not sure if you’re set on music, but Lectrofan has 10 fan sounds and 10 colored noise sounds (white, brown, etc) - it has the option to turn on and play forever or you can set it for an hour if you want.

I haven't used it but I've heard good things about the Windi. Might be worth a try if you haven't yet.

There is an update to "How to Talk," written by one of the original author's daughters (she has her own credentials, btw). I just purchased it and plan to dig into it - it's geared for kids 2-7, so I think it'll be more helpful for me right now!

https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Comfy-Bath-Sponge/dp/B000H953Y2

My mom suggested this bath sponge and it has worked great so far!

My most unexpected useful item was this butt spatula for diaper cream. I thought it was dumb and bought it as a joke, but man does it keep things speedy and clean!


http://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00LYQ53JC

Uppababy sells travel bags specifically for their car seats and strollers, so that’s what we have. But something like this should also be helpful:

https://www.amazon.com/J-L-Childress-Ultimate-Backpack-Padded/dp/B0009RNXNA

I was warned about feeling like a terrible mom when clipping fingers by my MIL. She is awesome, and she helped me not worry too much about it.


BUT... I also saw these recommended by a parent on IMGUR, and am very tempted to buy it so I DON'T end up clipping baby's fingers. https://www.amazon.com/Pigeon-Nail-Scissor-Born-Japan/dp/B000FHS97Y/ref=sr_1_2_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1480777455&sr=1-2&keywords=japanese+baby+nail+scissors

Check out the munchkin projector and sound machine. I love it. It can be turned up much louder than the sleep sheep and I find the noises to be much more realistic sounding than the sleep sheep.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B006SFUEF2?pc_redir=1410432469&robot_redir=1

My guy loved this one!

It's very similar to the first one you linked.

I got a haakaa pump to catch the milk that leaks from the opposite breast while my baby feeds from the other one. (I don’t use the suction though to avoid creating more demand for milk.) I just prop it under my breast to catch what drips out and then I store it in the fridge. That helps because I’m not wasting the milk and it doesn’t go all over me or the baby.

I also bought the lansinoh ultimate protection nipple pads and they are AMAZING. They hold so much milk and you can avoid getting milk on your bra or clothes.

And I got the lansinoh nipple cream because it’s safe for baby, no need to wipe it off before she eats. And I haven’t had dry or cracked nipples yet!

My baby is only 11 days old but this combo has been working so far!

This is popular around here once baby can sit up. Fits in the tub, more room for play, and doesn't hurt when they slam backwards. Cheap, too, and portable for trips.

Munchkin-White-Hot-Inflatable-Duck

• diapers in bigger sizes (1, 2)
  
  
• cloth diapers to use as burp rags
  
  
• small basket to keep on the main floor of the house for diaper changes
  
  
• (boy) package of washcloths to prevent pee accidents during diaper changes
  
  
• white noise machine
  
  
• Gift cards - Amazon, Babies R Us, Target, a local restaurant that delivers food, etc.

Baby Nail Scissors!!!! This is the pair we have and they are a dream!

http://www.amazon.com/Pigeon-Nail-Scissor-Born-Japan/dp/B000FHS97Y/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1417950615&sr=8-6&keywords=baby+fingernail+scissors

That playard is really cool, but just a tip - it's way cheaper on Amazon!

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00KBGTRAC/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1492548762&sr=8-1&keywords=summer+infant+pop+n%27+play+portable+playard

I have a playpen like this: Summer Infant Pop N' Play Portable Playard https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KBGTRAC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_1WBdzb0F3WVKK

I just stick him in there with some toys, cheerios or a pouch, and something to drink. I throw on some baby Einstein or Daniel Tiger or whatever and shower away. I keep the door cracked so I can hear him and I make sure the doors to the house are locked in case anyone just walked up but that's it.

Highly recommend this one. Now that my 9 month old is mobile this is a lifesaver! You can also bring it to the beach and ours came with a sunshade. https://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Play-Portable-Playard/dp/B00KBGTRAC

Nail scissors :)

Yes! We had to let it air out for a few days since it had a slight factory smell. We also got a cover for it. Milliard 2-Inch Ventilated Memory Foam Crib/Toddler Bed Mattress Topper with Removable Waterproof 65-Percent Cotton Non-Slip Cover - 51.5" x 27" x 2" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0089ME1K6?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf

I just read “And Baby Makes Three” which has some good ideas for communication for new parents- May help some with the parental stress parts
amazon link

We have this one though I don't think it's any better or worse than anything else. Just pick something you think looks cute because it's going to be out a LOT.

My kid was born in September, and she spent the entire first winter dressed in fleece footed pajamas basically all the time. Kept her plenty warm and it eliminated dealing with keeping socks on. Once or twice I got a comment about how she was "not dressed" since she wasn't in pants and a shirt I guess, but I had no fucks to give about that.

As far as going in the car, if you're using a bucket car seat, I cannot sing the praises of this style of car seat cover enough. It's 100% safe because nothing goes behind the baby or under any straps, and it's constructed like a winter coat so it's very warm. And it's basically effortless to use. If it's extremely cold you can even tuck an extra blanket underneath it.

We bought this
duck tub
for our 6-months-old who outgrew the bath support

This one is rugged and padded, we have used it for two years - https://www.amazon.com/Childress-Ultimate-Backpack-Padded-Travel/dp/B0009RNXNA. I use it whether we gate check or normal check the seat. It also is just big enough to fit the small convertible car seat we bought for travel for my now almost 2 year old.

The First Years Babypro Quick Serve Bottle Warmer, Colors May Vary https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00005BXKM/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_Y9ftub1WW6G1F

We started with this. Worth a try!

I have used this one and it worked well. J.L. Childress Ultimate Backpack Padded Car Seat Travel Bag, Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0009RNXNA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_uJcWDbANR28VF

I had one of those (put it away when she ripped it off the side of the crib one day during naptime) and it worked great for quite awhile. Also, after we stopped using it, she'd wake up from naptime and push the button and watch it for awhile. Sometimes she'd even fall back to sleep watching it.

Alternately, we have this white noise machine which also has a projector. We didn't get it until we were past the stage of needing the light show, but my toddler will still watch it occasionally if I turn it on.

I just bought a pack of Windis on Amazon here (I'm in the US). If you want me to look into how much it would be for me to buy another box and ship it to you PM me.

We have this one. It takes maybe 3 minutes to warm up 4 oz or so. I love it.

I got these off Amazon:
Gerber Birdseye Flatfold Cloth Diapers, White, 10 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VBYVVA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_OwkkzZeRxW7bO

We have a bath tub, but our 15 month old son still hasn't had a bath in it. We started with this infant tub and when he got too big for that we got this duck inflatable tub. My son is in the 99th percentile for height and still fits in it, so if you have an average baby you could use it for a while.

We used this for a while with our little guy:
https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-White-Hot-Inflatable-Duck/dp/B000066665
We would just put it inside the bath tub

https://www.amazon.com/J-L-Childress-Ultimate-Backpack-Padded/dp/B0009RNXNA

Or one of these?

Just get one of these: http://www.amazon.com/Jolly-Jumper-Arctic-Sneak-Infant/dp/B005LVNS4S. Then you never have to think about this again.

https://www.amazon.com/Jolly-Jumper-CarSeat-Attached-Weatherproof/dp/B005LVNS4S

And footie PJs. All the footie PJs.

https://www.amazon.com/Milliard-Ventilated-Removable-Waterproof-65-Percent/dp/B0089ME1K6

Adaptive Sound Technologies... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E6D6LQY?ref=yo_pop_ma_swf

It's actually a silicone spatula looking thing. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LYQ53JC/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdb_JI6fzbEJTRX5P

Lololol, I can totally see how you'd think that, considering the actual name of the thing is a diaper cream brush. We literally don't go anywhere without one - I think we own 5 of them now. They come in travel size too!

This one

Haakaa Manual Breast Pump 4oz/100ml,2019 New Style https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CWK4S5W/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_ce4jDbG5WPXFJ

I just got the cheapest one I could find on Amazon. I have been using it for 7 months with no issues. Also used Dr. Brown's options bottles.

We got one of those sponge things that seems to help. I get in with him and nurse him when he gets crabby. I think my baby just hates being naked. He hates getting diaper changes and changing clothes. http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000H953Y2/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?qid=1458024281&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+bath+sponge&pi=SY200_QL40

I highly recommend “And Baby Makes Three”.... it addresses a lot of the stuff that happens in that first year after baby, and really helped me figure out how I could better voice my concerns and things that make me angry without things turning into an all out fight. It turned out I was able to control my SO’s reaction when I was upset or annoyed based on how I communicated my concerns. In fact, I lost my copy and just reordered a few weeks ago for a quick refresher. HIGHLY recommend.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/Baby-Makes-Three-Preserving-Rekindling/dp/140009738X

Once we were ready to transition our 4 month old from co-sleeping in our bed to the crib we found it difficult as well. The minute we'd put her on the hard crib mattress she'd wake up and cry. We started putting her on the guest bed with pillows around her but I never felt safe with that method. Eventually we found this crib mattress on Amazon and it's been a God send! She has been sleeping in her crib since the frustrated day we got it.

Milliard 2-Inch Ventilated Memory Foam Crib/Toddler Bed Mattress Topper with Removable Waterproof 65-Percent Cotton Non-Slip Cover - 51.5" x 27" x 2" https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0089ME1K6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Q.AWAbKV4MAZ3

There is a movement monitor that goes under the mattress, so if baby stop moving/ breathing for more than 20 seconds an alarm goes off. HERE!

I was paranoid that my guy would stop breathing (he was a preemie, so it was very possible). So I went for a monitor with the sensor pad under his mattress. When there would be no movement for 15 sec ( and it detects movement from breathing!) it'd beep once and no movement for 20 sec- it'd start beeping loud. Here is the one I have and it's amazing. It also has temperature sensors for too hot or too cold and you can adjust the sensibility of the monitor too. The little soft light button is handy too ( I may or may not have used it a few times to shine under his crib to find a fallen dummy!)

> ... whichever one he'll take...

Yup. Also non-snarky, but this is the truth. We chose to buy one of a few different kinds.

When first trying a cup from a bottle at around 4-6 months, he liked the Nuk learner cups. We've also tried weighted straw cups (I found them sooooo hard to get the liquid out myself! So I rarely offer them anymore.) We really like the Munchkin 360 though. We also have a Think baby which is freaking horrible - the nipple completely collapses because there's no air vent. We had to puncture a hole in it to get it to work properly! I can't understand why they are so highly rated.

Its totally up to you what you end up doing--but there are really nice crib monitors out there that monitor babys breathing without being intrusive. We have this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00GU07FLQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1419307492&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SY200_QL40

At $75 new, its totally worth the peace of mind. IMHO, I think some babies just dont like being on their back (and some have bad reflux). My LO HATES back sleeping. At 12 weekish, he wasnt quite rolling yet but couldn't sleep more than like...an hour and a half before waking up screaming. I was at my wits end...SO wanted to place him on his tummy but the SIDS stuff had me terrified so my SO ordered the deluxe version of that monitor. It monitors breathing, room temp, and has audio. We've only had 2 false alarms since we got 4 months ago. :)

Hi mama! I had my little girl on the 8th, and I feel your pain! She's been so gassy these last few nights and there's nothing I do that soothes the poor thing. Gonna lurk here to see if anyone has magical ideas that I haven't tried.

I tried the Windi last night and got some gas out but not enough to relieve her, and I didn't want to keep probing the poor thing with it.

The baby bum brush

This thing is the weirdest looking thing, but I have 3. One on the changing table in his room, one in our living room for downstairs diaper changes and one in the diaper bag. Diaper cream is absolutely gross and I hate getting under my nails and on my hands because it doesn't wash away easily. I wipe it down with a baby wipe after each use and at the end of the night I wash it in the sink. While it isn't a something important item, I swear by it!

4 months was when I realized my LO wouldn't take bottles either. It sucked so much. Eventually he took a Munchkin straw cup with cold expressed milk, but he was sick as hell and that was the last thing I was trying before we took him to the hospital before he got more dehydrated so not exactly ideal circumstances.