(Part 2) Top products from r/bipolar

From a bipolarbear to a loved one of a bipolarbear, if your nephew isn't in a place to say it himself: thank you. We have a way of alienating the people who care for us the most and a lot of us end up alone, ashamed of things we've said and done in the past with nowhere to go. The fact that you're willing to take him in is huge.

Now, part of what makes this decision huge is that it's probably not going to be a cakewalk. I think it's fine to require that he be compliant with treatment, but it's going to require some finessing on your end to make sure that things outside of his control don't get in the way of his compliance. Mental illness is tricky because it often operates on its own logic, and things that seem very simple or straightforward to you are quite complicated for someone whose decision-making capabilities are jeopardized by their brain chemistry.

Early on, "support" might mean that he needs help in his treatment compliance. Things like help scheduling and making appointments on time, picking up meds from the pharmacy, dosing them out into a daily meds organizer like this, reminders or help setting up a reminder system for taking meds, or perhaps even going with him to talk to his doctors about medication options that don't need to be taken daily, like monthly antipsychotic shots (yep, they can shoot you up with your meds so you don't have to remember taking them -- there are a lot of positives and negatives to this, so be open-minded).

When the mentally ill turn to substances as self-medication, consider this behavior as the desperation it is, rather than the disregard for others families tend to see it as. Substance addiction is tricky and really, really hard to kick, even with professional help. If your nephew is dealing with alcoholism, he has a long, uphill battle ahead of him and he's going to need your support and understanding more than ultimatums. Now, yes, it's your house, your rules, and your family's safety and sanity takes precedence, but when it comes to his substance use I urge you to measure any actions you take against the context of "Is this leading to positive results, or negative results?"

Let go of "should be" and "could be" when it comes to substance use. The things that drive people into substances have their own logic (which is why addiction ruins lives like it does), so tread softly. You're doing an incredibly generous, kind thing for your nephew that's going to require a lot of patience.

In that same vein, be proactive about recruiting outside help. Will he be in an outpatient group? Dual-diagnosis therapy (treatment designed to reach those who struggle both with mental illness and substance use)? Given the damage done to society by untreated mental illness and substance abuse, most regions have public health services and pro bono private services available. Get a support structure in place before your nephew even arrives so the pressure isn't all on you. If you do get to a point where he can't be in your home anymore, it will be easier for everyone involved if you've had a shit-hits-the-fan plan set up from the beginning.

Guns: Yep, off-site storage. You sound like you've got a good head on your shoulders and are a responsible firearms owner. It's an inconvenience, but follow your gut here and ensure that your nephew will have no opportunity to harm himself or anyone else with your pieces. The statistics on guns, the mentally ill, and avoidable accidents/suicides/tragedies just go to show that the two don't mix. When we're stable, being treated, and have spot-on crisis plans in place, even then gun ownership is dicey, but possible. But only after a great deal of time stable and a commitment to a solid treatment plan.

Finally, the thing that's going to help your loved one the most is knowing that you're there for him, you're doing to do everything you can to help him (especially when he has days or strings of days when his illness robs him of his ability to be the best version of himself), and that his illness isn't the most important thing about him. I encourage you to bond with him over common interests and help him relax and feel like part of the family (he might be struggling with feeling like an intruder, or waiting for the other shoe to drop and get kicked out). Make sure you recognize any steps he takes in a positive direction, and sympathize with him when he screws up, because bipolar is all about screwing up.

/r/bipolar is also an excellent place to get advice and feedback for anything that comes up, or to just shoot the shit and joke around when you need to, so stick around. We've got your back. Introduce your nephew, even? We're a bunch of weirdos but there's good people here. You're doing a good thing, so don't forget that. I wish you all the best.

I'm sorry you're going through this, Terra, and I hope it can end soon! I'm just going to toss around some thoughts, and I really apologize if this is the same stuff you've already been thinking about. First, I found an over-the-counter supplement that helps address my bipolar symptoms in a couple of ways. It's called NAC, and it's a pretty interesting drug. Here is a study demonstrating that it might prove helpful in reducing mania. I take it twice a day, at morning and night, and it also helps make me a little drowsy at night time so I can get to sleep, which is nice. I use this brand.

When I'm feeling manic, I'm always trying to think about spending that energy in useful and healthy pursuits. I love playing my guitar, and I also love listening to audiobooks, and those two things help to focus me and give me something good to do. I try to avoid going out too much when I'm off balance because when I drive while manic, I tend to do stupid things. Another thing is please try not to shame yourself or get mad at yourself because it's hurtful to your psyche, and this is all a brain chemistry thing - not your choice or decision. Make sure at night that your room is really dark when you sleep - it gives me comfort to actually wear a little hat and sometimes a mask over my eyes. The sleep experts say that the best way to have your bedroom is free of technology distractions like TV and phones. It teaches your brain to feel like the best and only thing to do in bed is sleep and relax. If you feel restless and want to spend time on your phone, then you can go to sit on a couch somewhere or something. Ok, I hope things get better, Terra, and have a good weekend.

The two of you have the most important aspect of making this work of all: that you both want to keep trying. This is the basis of all relationships (not just ones with mental health challenges) and it is surprisingly hard to come by. A lot of the times, particularly in marriage, one party may become complacent. When this happens, there is a stunt of growth, understanding, and eventually love. All relationships and partnerships are work, but if the two of you work as a team, it dramatically increases your chances of working it out.

You said he doesn't feel like you really know him and that he needs to censor. Negative behavior picked up while untreated and bad habits from childhood are things that need to be addressed in a positive way. Do the homework the therapist gives you and try to communicate as best you can. Most importantly of all: talk to one another. Be kind and understanding to facilitate and environment where he is less afraid to be himself. Find out why he is afraid to be himself (specifically). Talk about everything. Don't forget to hang out either. Sometimes, when couples acknowledge issues in their relationship and orient themselves towards working on them, it can overtake their relationship. Everything becomes about those issues and some of the love and magic in the relationship is lost because the time is dedicated towards addressing them. Make sure to take time to love one another. Cuddle, be silly, laugh. Take it one step at a time.

I actually have a blog about love and bipolar that you can find here. However, if you don't want to listen to the ramblings of a crazy internet person, I've heard great things about this book.

I just finished reading this book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006CUXPEK/

It's focused more on romantic relationships, but contains a lot of advice and strategies to help the reader help someone manage the illness. It's mostly strategies and ways you can be supportive of your mom, understand her, and help her get things under control. A lot of books are written for the person with BPS, this one is written for those close to them.

If you'd like it as a holiday gift, PM me a shipping address.

Edit: To advise you, just do you. If they don't respect you for being yourself, you can't change them. You can change yourself. Find a moral code that suits your fancy and live by it. Read books about relationships. I recommend "Emotional Blackmail", I'll link it in the next edit.

Edit Link: http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate/dp/0060928972

My ESP-game is super strong. The girls break it off with me. I never have to call it off, ever. It's peaceful. I genuinely love women, and any relationship I get into I go into full fledged intending to become soulmates with this other being. Once I realize we don't want the same things...ESP game muy brotha.

I don't have much to add, as everyone has already said it (if you feel you are in need of hospital help go to the hospital).

I did want to suggest you taking your SO with you to your psych next appointment, so she can hear from a "professional" that what you have is more than "just being down". I have come to see that almost everyone that has no previous experience with mental illness seem to share this view. "Why, if you just tried a bit harder, and wanted it enough you'd be able to snap out of it. Even my sweet husband, at first.

So, the treatment for her is to become educated. Knowledge = less fear=understanding. Books on bipolar and again, hearing that it's a legitimate "thing" from a third party professional was key for my situation. I liked this book: Welcome to the Jungle, Everything You Wanted to Know About Bipolar But Were Too Freaked Out to Ask because it's written in a casual, accessible tone. The other one that might be good is Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder. The more academic books might be a bit off-putting.

Please keep us updated when you are able.

Zero caffeine, zero alcohol, heathy diet, exercise, sleep hygiene, a loving relationship, plus (in my case) meditation. - but I am far from following my own advice at present. : (

As far as books go:

[Electroboy: A Memoir of Mania] (http://www.amazon.com/Electroboy-Memoir-Mania-Andy-Behrman/dp/0375503587) by Andy Behrman

[Madness: A Bipolar Life] (http://www.amazon.com/Madness-Bipolar-Life-Marya-Hornbacher/dp/0547237804) by Marya Hornbacher

I binged out self-help books about ten years ago. I was trying to outrun the disease at the time.



The most helpful thing I found was having a job I enjoyed, This beat anything else including years of talk therapy (which didn't really work with my condition)

Everyone is different, what speaks to one person is irrelevant to another. I quite like the Desiderata

Welcome to the Jungle by Hillary Smith. Highly highly recommend. Made me feel comforted, informed, as well as made me laugh when I first got diagnosed.

https://www.amazon.com/Welcome-Jungle-Revised-Bipolar-Freaking/dp/1573246956

You should read [this book](The Promise of Sleep: A Pioneer in Sleep Medicine Explores the Vita... http://www.amazon.com/dp/0440509017/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_bPdZtb0Y1S4DN)

It really is among my favorite books and I think it may help you :)

My best friend gave it to me. Posted about it on the other bipolar sub when that happened and [checks posting history] c_hannah found it on Amazon, and it's apparently back in stock now. I also now use this one for my naltrexone - it looks too much like my lithium to keep in in the same pillbox.

TOXO! That's what got me started on this line of speculation. A friend of mine tested positive when she was pregnant and it was a very difficult decision whether or not to continue the pregnancy. The baby seemed OK but until recently the boy was still living at home, well into his 30s so I wonder....

The first book I read on the subject had a chapter on toxo and how it altered the behavior of rats. That got me to thinking, if the behavior of rats could be altered, why not the behavior of humans?

Since then, research has indicated - early stages - that it does alter the behavior of those humans who are infected.

There wasn't much to read about the subject in 1987 but now I see articles regularly on the subject. Still early days, though.

It is also interesting the the eponymous New Guinea tapeworm is on the verge of eradication, thanks, in large part, to former President Carter.

https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Lithium-Love-Losing-Mind/dp/0399574492

This is the book I’m referring to. You’re obviously not on lithium but it will give your parents insight on drugs for bipolar disorder.

https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/largest-study-its-kind-implicates-gene-abnormalities-bipolar-disorder

Here is a very comprehensive study that will give you insight as well. It highlights the importance of NON drug treatment and a solid support system

I'm fond of these titles:
Bipolar Disorder Demystified from 2003, I still have my copy. It's cheap on Amazon. I sat down with all the books at a local book store and this is the one that was approachable to me, when I first got diagnosed.
http://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Disorder-Demystified-Mastering-Depression/dp/B002HOQ9BG/

Loving Someone with Bipolar is a great book as well, for your partner or family. Be aware, that the book is not going to pull punches, and flat out does tell people that sometimes, in order to financially or emotionally survive and do well, you have to leave people with mental disorders. It encourages people to help, but not to devote their every waking moment to caring for their mood disorder partner.
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-Bipolar-Disorder-Julie/dp/1572243422/r

you're not alone.

books that have helped me: http://www.amazon.com/Somebody-Around-Insider-Secrets-Hired/dp/0312373341

Corporate Confidential: 50 Secrets Your Company Doesn't Want You to Know---and What to Do About Them by Cynthia Shapiro
Link: http://amzn.com/B003K15PC4

No one will ever tell you they have an issue with you. No one likes confrontation and they figure if you don't know the imaginary, unofficial rules of Corporate America, then you don't belong there anyway.

HR is not there for you. HR is there to keep the company from getting sued. Makes friends with someone and ask them to give you honest feedback about how you behave/come across and any insider tips on the culture at the office. It's the only way to survive.

I've never been at a job more than a couple years. Edit: mostly because I don't do politics and butt kissing and get so bored I stop doing my job.

If you want to hear a more anecdotal story about a life of a successful bipolar person with her fair share of psychosis and depression, I read this super quickly and I had been having a hard time reading: An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

This book is about a journey through anxiety. The author is young and she was actually inspired by the author of the book above. First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety

If you want to read stories about great leaders who suffered through mental illness, including bipolar, along with the argument that those experiences made them the dynamic people they were with special abilities to be empathetic and reach people in ways others couldn’t, A First-Rate Madness: Uncovering the Links Between Leadership and Mental Illness.

I bought this Bipolar Workbook but haven’t had the discipline to do it yet.

I recently read Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me by Ellen Forney which I really enjoyed. She is a cartoonist and wrote a graphic novel depicting her struggle to accept her diagnosis at age 30 even though bipolar disorder was clearly affecting her life. I liked it a lot because it was funny and really focused on her thought process which was interesting, though it is aimed a broader audience so there is a lot of introductory stuff that someone with the disorder would already know.

Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression is also quite good. It's a collection of something like 25 essays about depression/bipolar disorder. They didn't all click with me, but the ones that did hit really hard and I keep going back to them. I also like that there is a variety of perspectives. It is mostly written by people with mental illnesses, but there are a couple of times where you finish one essay and the next one is written by that person's husband or sister. Another example, they have the story of a woman who decided to continue her medication through pregnancy and one who stopped, and both have the opportunity to explain their decision and the consequences.

It's not a shock that she didn't even pay attention enough to understand the abuse by your father. It sounds like she's very emotionally immature and self-absorbed. Sounds like she's pretty abusive herself.

I would also like to point out that she actually turned the guilt back on you. It wasn't enough that you had to live that way. Now, it's your fault for not telling her and that you are a weak adult.

I actually believed the thoughts implanted in my mind by my parents that my childhood wasn't that bad because it WASN'T AS BAD as the worst case scenario. Sorry Mom, this is still pretty terrible.

I'm so sorry. i hear you. I emphathize.

I highly recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Adult-Children-Emotionally-Immature-Parents/dp/1626251703/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1486193052&sr=8-1&keywords=emotionally+immature+parents
I don't know if you think this would be helpful, but I really found it helpful for me.

How much and how long have you been on Lamictal? I'm assuming you've had a go-around with lithium. In all the research I've done over the past several weeks I've never seen where any of this is un-treatable. I'm a bit pissed at your doctor for saying that to you. I've also read that giving anti-depressants can actually trigger a manic/mixed state. Wondering if you need a new doc.

This book, it helped me understand: [Why am I still depressed?}(http://www.amazon.com/Depressed-Recognizing-Managing-Bipolar-Disorder/dp/0071462376) I burned through it in 2 days...not a big book, but helpful. Not sure if you're up for reading right now but it explains the meds.

It seems that your comment contains 1 or more links that are hard to tap for mobile users.
I will extend those so they're easier for our sausage fingers to click!


Here is link number 1 - Previous text "NAC"



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^Please ^PM ^/u/eganwall ^with ^issues ^or ^feedback! ^| ^Delete

You know, that's the second book in the last two hours that someone has recommended that I'd like to read but can't afford. Is there some kind of book bit torrent I can find these at? The other one is this.

Read "I'm not sick and I don't need help" by Xavier Amador. It really helped me learn to deal with a similar situation.
http://www.amazon.com/Not-Sick-Dont-Need-Help/dp/0967718929

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1573246956/ref=dp_ob_neva_mobile

I read this book when I was first diagnosed with it back in August.

Here :)

Fire your mom. Seriously. I have worked with a lot of people who should have and didn't. (I should have fired mine long before I did. OR... at least set appropriate, effective and functional boundaries with her.)

Some people are qualified by dint of some combination of how they were raised and useful education to be what the great D. W. Winnicott called "good enough parents." Some others, however, are not.

I got out of the Parent Trap with the help of Codependents Anonymous (which is about a lot more than being the partner of a substance abuser). In time, I was lead to such books as these:

Nina Brown's Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents

Eleanor Payson's The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family

Lindsay Gibson's Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents

Elan Golomb's Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in the Struggle for Self

Susan Forward's Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (a bit long in tooth now, but still useful) and Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You

Kimberlee Roth & Frieda Friedman's Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem

Bought a pill organizer and it's positively huge. I don't like the standard ones because they chip my nail polish (yes I know dumb reason) and it's just so much easier to push a button.

Your post reminded me of reading Caitlín R. Kiernan's: "The Drowning Girl", whose main character is also obsessing over numbers. It's very good, but also a bit scary:

https://www.amazon.com/Drowning-Girl-Caitlin-R-Kiernan/dp/0451464168/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8

My psychiatrist recommended this book for me, although I have yet to read it.

​

Its called "Why Am I Still Depressed? Recognizing and Managing the Ups and Downs of Bipolar II and Soft Bipolar Disorder"

Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Depressed-Recognizing-Managing-Bipolar-Disorder/dp/0071462376/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=Why+am+I+Still+Depressed&qid=1555692684&s=gateway&sr=8-1

1. The Bipolar Book: History, Neurobiology and Treatment
   
2. Manic-Depressive Illness: Bipolar Disorders and Recurrent Depression, 2nd Edition
   
3. Behavioral Neurobiology of Bipolar Disorder and its Treatment
   
4. Genetics of Bipolar Disorder

I hate Scientology and all they stand for, but I also hate how any position they hold has become strong evidence that the position is worthy of ridicule, and that all critics believe in aliens.

It's given the pharmaceutical and psychiatric industry the opportunity to deride criticism of drugs as nonsense that arose from members of a deeply unpopular cult, rather than criticism that arose from their own research.

Such as this study, in which researchers note that “in the era prior to pharmacotherapy, poor outcome in mania was considered a relatively rare occurrence . . . however, modern outcome studies have found that a majority of bipolar patients evidence high rates of functional impairment.” In their discussion of this deterioration in outcomes, they concluded that “medication-induced changes” may be at least partly responsible. Antidepressants may cause a “worsening of the course of illness,” (which is supported by many other studies) while the antipsychotics may lead to more “depressive episodes” and “lower functional recovery rates.” Drug side effects, they added, may “explain the cognitive deficits in bipolar disorder patients.” Or this study where Harvard researchers observe that “prognosis for bipolar disorder was once considered relatively favorable, but contemporary findings suggest that disability and poor outcomes are prevalent.” They note that “neuropharmacological-neurotoxic factors” might be causing “cognitive deficits in bipolar disorder patients.”

Scientologists also opposed lobotomies back when they were the standard and even if they did so for the wrong reasons I'm sure most people here would agree with that stance and would not volunteer to be lobotomized.

I highly recommend this book if you want to get a look at the 50 years of history and research that my doctor never informed me of when I was put on anti-depressants and anti-psychotics.