(Part 2) Top products from r/breakingmom

My daughter was into Tinkerbell for hot second when she was about two, but she's just never cared for it after that - matter of fact, she isn't into any licensed characters at all - score - because the clothes and toys and stuff are super expensive and crappy. She does have two brothers who are into Star Wars and superheroes but she never got into that stuff either.

But I definitely made room for her to be interested in them if she wanted to. It IS about choice and I agree, your parents went a bit too far, and agree with everyone else about letting her choose and stressing the good the princesses do.

That said, Moana is my favorite princess, because she's a badass, the movie isn't about her falling in love with some prince, and the music ROCKS, lol. Has she seen that one? To me it's the best 'feminist' Disney movie.

There's a great book called Cinderella Ate My Daughter that's about EXACTLY what you're talking about, a mom who considered herself such a feminist and how her daughter got into all the princess stuff. It's so good. The audio book is amazing. I highly recommend it!

Also she has an amazing book to read maybe when your daughter is older called Girls and Sex which is such a positive, feminist slant on talking to girls about sex.

You are not crazy, selfish, or mean. I'd be hella stressed right now, too. I agree with a ton of the advice here, particularly about who they're really angry at. It doesn't make it easier on you, but I agree that it's probably more about their son. I also like the list of boundaries someone else suggested.

I know you're dealing with a lot right now, but if you have a moment, could you explain this a bit more:

>thinking that my children need a dad or that a sperm donor is a dad is homophobic.

Is this just a matter of semantics here? ("Dad"= involved and present male figure involved in day to day care of children) My 4yo has been asking a ton about where babies come from and how babies are made. Among others, I like this book, What Makes a Baby? because it talks about how some people have different parts in their bodies necessary to make a baby and some don't, and it models all sorts of families in the illustrations. But egg and sperm are still part of the explanation. I want to give him fact-based information, and it never occurred to me that it might be homophobic to explain that babies are made from an egg cell (from a woman) and a sperm cell (from a man) and they grow into a baby in a uterus (in a woman). And some babies have families with two parents, some with one, some with grandparents, some with two moms, some with two dads, etc. So I guess my question is, is there a particular phrasing for this that is better or worse? Because the fact is your babies have a biological father and mother because they were made from sperm and egg(s), even if their family has two moms. And if my 4yo was asking about it, I'd probably say something like, "Cousin gave his sperm and mom gave her egg and OP gave her uterus to grow the babies. And OP and mom are their two mommies." Is there a better way to phrase that? Thanks!

And good luck with he crazy...it's really big of you to make the effort. With any luck, you all can come to a place of peace with this before your girls are old enough to be aware of the drama.

We did BLW - I recommend the website and the cookbook. There's even a subreddit.

We started with toast, and carrots. Like previous poster stated I would take a CPR class, hubby and I did for peace of mind but luckily never have had to use it. It was really wonderful -- she ate everything, going to restaurants was easy. She would be happy with steamed broccoli but make sure when you order to ask for plain veggies - a lot of places add stuff.

I have a book I'd like you to read. It's called Codependent No More by Melody Beattie. It was suggested to me by my ex's therapist, when I joined him in a therapy session and ended up sobbing. It helped me see things from a different perspective and gave me strength I didn't know I had. The book drastically improved my life and it only took a few days to read. Here it is on Amazon. I was skeptical at first because:

1. I had never read a self-help book before and had honestly zero faith that it would help anything.
   
   and,
   
   
2. The cover of the book made me defensive because it says something about controlling others.
   
   But, read it. It all makes sense once you get into it, and I really think your situation will hugely improve if you do. It's just a book, so worst case scenario, you don't gain anything from it but another book to add to the list of books you've read. Best case scenario, your life is changed for the better.
   
   Here it is on Overdrive, you can see if it is available at your local library or even in e-book form.
   
   Edit Actually, I found the e-book online for free (actually it is a free 4-title bundle of her books, but it includes the one I am recommending) so I downloaded it to my Dropbox account. I'll PM you the link so you can just click the link and read it. If anyone else wants to read the book, PM me and I'll send you the link too.

We have the older and less-shiny version of this clock, which has been a phenomenal lifesaver since we moved our kid into a toddler bed.

It goes blue at bedtime automagically, yellow in the morning (and the new one lets you set different wake up times for the weekend!), has a nap timer (you set nap length, then manually initiate naps and it turns yellow again automagically), and all that.

The other big thing that helped, for us, was breaking out the video monitor again. Shut the door and watch over the monitor and "voice of god" at the kid. Telling him to "get back in bed" without him even seeing us means he isn't getting any ideas that night time is play time.

Combining the two, and he was staying in bed consistently for night and naps (except for when he needs to use the restroom, but we have a small potty in his room for that) since about the end of the first week.

The big rule for naps now is "You don't have to sleep, but you DO have to stay in bed and be quiet until the clock turns yellow."

Free time: back! Sleep: restored! Sanity: Doin' better!

Good luck. <3

Hey Hey! Unwilling biting toddler expert here. My son has been biting since he was 1 years old, and is about to turn 5 in August. Now, he has been diagnosed as ASD within the past year, and I have no doubt that plays a part in it, but that doesn't mean that my experience can't be of help to you.

First thing. Get this book and read it. Regularly. Talk to your child about it. See what they have to say about it, what they think.

Ask the people watching your daughter to make notes when she bites. Just quick little jots - what time of day did it happen? What was she doing? What was the child who she bit doing? This will help you narrow things down. Could she be hungry? Could she be upset at the other child for not listening to her / acknowledging her cues that she wants to be left alone? Just these quick little facts can be huge clues as to what is going on in her mind when she bites. With my son, it is usually because another child has invaded his personal space, or his chair in the classroom. Once his teachers and I figured that out, we have gotten his biting down from 5-6 times a day to once in the past month. Seriously, that big of a difference.

How is her vocabulary? When my son first started biting, everyone said it was because he couldn't express his needs adequately. So many people told me this, I'm certain it's a cause for the vast majority of kids. Looking into speech therapy, or even encouraging sign language can help with this aspect of it.

I want to end this statement with this: just because your child is biting does NOT make you a bad parent. You're not. Your child has all these great big emotions and feelings and no idea how to appropriately express them, and that IS OK. I know you're frustrated. I FEEL that frustration (read my history if you're really curious...it's been a long ride). But you are aware of the problem, you are actively facing it head on. That is good parenting. Don't ever let anyone else make you feel any differently.

I lurk now, but I am still constantly on reddit. So if you need support, help, hell just someone to listen who understands, I am here. I am so here for you.

And it will get better. I promise you. One day, it will. I haven't hit my one day yet! But I'm now confident that it's coming. I know yours is, too.

Yes, I totally agree, get a "zip it" drain cleaner tool! Something like this [https://www.amazon.com/Cobra-Products-00412BL-Drain-Cleaning/dp/B000BO9204] can be purchased at just about any home improvement type store.

It works so well and is so easy to use that when they first came out the plumbing company I worked for went out and purchased them for all of the plumbers to use as part of their kits.

Can't recommend it enough! (I also have one for my bathroom sink, seriously they are amazing, and like you; no one else around here was taking care of it. /hugs)

Can you buy a special car potty and make it awesome so she'll want to use it. I bought a kalencom portable potty after my eldest trained it's come totally in handy countless times over the 4 years we've had it. No worry about finding a bathroom. Just pull over and pee.

I get that she's not telling you but maybe if it's a super special amazing potty she'll want to tell you? Let her decorate it/sticker it up.
This is what we have:
https://www.amazon.com/Kalencom-2-in-1-Potette-Plus-Red/dp/B0016KV73W

I'm a little late to this post but I wanted to tell you that when going to the smaller sizes, they have a 22.5mm insert and a 21mm insert. I have both. The 21mm is the one that fits best but it drives me nuts, so I use the 22.5mm.

I'm currently using both sizes b/c I have two pumps so I can't send them to you, but the 22.5mm ones are super cheap so may be worth trying? Ameda has a brochure to help you find what size you need.

http://www.amazon.com/Tunnel-Balls--Outdoor-Folding-Carrying/dp/B00HDPLPN6/ref=sr_1_15?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1415617560&sr=1-15

play tent/tunnel/ball pit


http://www.kohls.com/product/prd-1828078/Disney-Pixar-Cars-Playville-Tent.jsp?ci_mcc=ci&srccode=cii_17588969&cpncode=27-375085765-2&CID=shopping15

same thing, but cheaper and Cars

We got Tinynurse skates that go over the shoes, PlayDoh is a big hit (even if I'm not a fan), trying to think...she's rough and not "girly", build a bear was a huge hit with her, she loves her zoomer zuppie, hugging Elmo (I'm scanning her toys).

Hey, don't get down on yourself! Your feelings are perfectly valid and ok to listen to.

There is an awesome (and gentle!) sleep book that I've found super helpful: The No Cry Sleep Solution .

I love it. I currently use it in our living room so I dont have to go upstairs for my 4 month old and my toddler all day. It’s also great when traveling (hotels, grandparents house). The side pockets don’t hold a ton but it’ll easily fit diapers, wipes, diaper cream, and doggy-poo bags. Maybe a disposable puppy-pee pad. Amazon has them.

ETA
https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Bassinet-Changing-Multipurpose-Upgraded/dp/B01LZRDMEQ/ref=asc_df_B01LZRDMEQ

Mine will be 18 months in a few weeks and we have had a lot of luck with this book... we read it frequently and every time he goes to bite me I say "Teeth are not for biting". Sometimes when he is in a mostly good mood I can follow that up with "But lips are for kissies!" and he will give a kiss instead. We have been doing this about a month now and over the last week he has been aggressively grabbing my arm like he wanted to bite it, and giving it a big kiss. I'll call that a win lol. It's just a phase at this point, they don't know how to communicate how frustrated they are so they bite. Mine goes to daycare and the kids try to bite each other pretty frequently. Daycare does the same routine, stops the bad behavior, explains in 1 sentence why it's bad, and redirects to something else or gives another option.

I'm trying to find the link to a schedule that my friend swears by. it take awhile to get them all out, as you can see, because you get the adults, but not the nits, then a while later the nits you didn't see hatch and you have the adults. Basically you comb for a few days, then wait a specific number of days, then comb for a few days, then wait, then comb... I called her and left a message, hopefully she'll get back to me soon.

We've used the RobiComb and it's worked very well.

Your partner and Patrick sound pretty codependent. I like this book for learning more about codependent relationships and how to increase self esteem.

Not sure how old your LO is, but we got a tot clock when our oldest started doing this at 25 months. It was he'll. I was in my 1st trimester with her sister and I needed her to fucking stay put! This is the one we got and it was a fucking lifesaver! (On mobile, so hopefully link works)

My Tot Clock My Toddler, White https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00NC10YFA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_cCnaCbNKSC1P2

We have the Goldbug panda.
Goldbug 2 in 1 Safety Harness - Monkey https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JJ5DLM6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_2BiTyb4F1AYTA
After a few initial meltdowns trying to put it on, she now loves it and asks us to put it on her.

Awww.

I just wanna squish her and hug her and love her and call her George. Poor baby.

:edit:

Also..if you haven't read Cinderella Ate My Daughter! yet...you need to.

I don't even HAVE a girl...but I picked it up at the library one day because I was like, "Oooh. This looks interesting." and boy was it an eye opener. No wonder girls these days are so fucked up!

We have this we ended up buying extra balls but its been a fun toy! Even without the extra balls!

Toddler recently claimed What Makes a Baby as his new favorite book. We get to the page in the book that talks about how babies grow in uteruses (uteri?), and that some people have uteruses but others don't. Toddler pondered for a minute and asked if I had a uterus, and I nodded. He asked if his O.Pa. (my partner) and Baby Sister also had uteruses, to which I also nodded. Toddler sat silently for a minute before throwing himself on the ground and wailing "BUT I WANT A UTERUS TOOOOOOO. THAT'S NOT FAAAAIIIIRRRR!!!"

Toddlers and FOMO, man. It's so intense.

Clevamama ClevaFoam Baby Pillow, Cream https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008Y2DFLM/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_vuIFwb89N7PM9


I love it. Has really changed how she sleeps

Milliard Tri Folding Mattress with Washable Cover, Twin (75 inches x 38 inches x 4 inches) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DJ8HWBU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_IIazDbF5SRS12

115 BUCKS TOTALLY WELL SPENT!

I have the full version and it is the best. I have been floor sleeping on it for 3 months and the usual back pain I deal with no longer exists. YMMV. It folds up so easy every morning and my 15 mo old sits on it to watch movies.

there is a electic lice comb. electrocutes the fuckers and zaps the nits. We only have the resistant lice so the store bought shit does nothing.

also, there is a lice repelent shampoo and detangle spray. We enjoy the smell, but some may not. We have been using it at every shower and so far lice free this year.

We got my 1 year old one of these on her birthday. She adores it. It is $6.98 on Amazon right now if you have prime.

This is the best thing ever for clogged drains, especially if it's a bunch of hair stuck in the tub.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DJ8HWBU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_6PDKBb1C4ZM4A :)

One like this one may be a good option. It's firm but breathable.

Hey, so go to Amazon and get this thing. It folds up and I keep it in a mesh bag with some wipes and liner bags. It goes in my backpack, in my hiking pack, in my car, in my stroller so that I always have a potty. We potty before leaving the house, we potty at the store. The folding potty also functions as a seat reducer (it makes sitting on the big potty less scary!) and we use it in the woods on hikes and everything (in the woods for pee, we just set it up without a bag). My daughter just started potty training a week or so ago and she has used this to successfully pee in the scary composting toilets at our local park and also in public restrooms. Its super handy to keep around, and I have even used it for my older son when he had a poop emergency on a hike in the woods!

For what it's worth, I have a Purely Yours that I'm not using.

I've lost/broken parts, but I do have the 30.5 mm horn, the 28.5 mm insert, and the 25 mm horn. (I could have sworn I had the 22.5 mm insert but I can't find them.)

If you think you could use them, I'll nail them to you.

https://www.amazon.com/Portable-Bassinet-Changing-Multipurpose-Upgraded/dp/B01LZRDMEQ/

If you edit your link to just have everything before the question mark, reddit will not auto-remove it. It contains an affiliate link as it is so reddit auto-removes it.

It was similar to this, but I think it was a doggie.

EDIT: Also to mention, once we had an infant AND toddler, this was absolutely necessary. Especially for their grandmother, who couldn't be constantly chasing and bending!

Non-mobile: one of these

^That's ^why ^I'm ^here, ^I ^don't ^judge ^you. ^PM ^/u/xl0 ^if ^I'm ^causing ^any ^trouble. ^WUT?

This seems pertinent

http://www.amazon.com/You-Have-F-g-Eat/dp/1617753785/ref=tmm_hrd_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1416792843&sr=1-2

This one: https://www.amazon.ca/Baby-Led-Weaning-Cookbook-Recipes-Foods_and/dp/161519049X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478569225&sr=1-1

DAE "K is for Knifeball"?

I got invited to her baby shower and I went. She asked for a children's book in lieu of a card. This is the book I got:
http://www.amazon.com/K-Knifeball-Alphabet-Terrible-Advice/dp/1452103313/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452996568&sr=8-1&keywords=knifeball

I couldn't seem to help myself.

You mentioned nipple shields, but have you tried Lacticups? I used these when I had sensitive nipples, even when pregnant and not lactating I liked them because my nipples could air out and didn't get all sweaty. As for the before getting dressed part, I second oragel.

the no cry sleep solution i think is basically the pioneer of this technique so i'd start there.

Also! I got some of these to catch all the leakage from one boob while princess_crow nursed from the other side: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000058DQJ/ref=cm_sw_r_awd_Z.uwub02P2P7X

I leaked a TON and hated that it was wasted, so I'd wear one of these and then put whatever was collected in with any bottles I pumped for our freezer stash.