(Part 2) Top products from r/calmhands

Let me start by saying this: I would have included a before pic but I was so ashamed that I never took any pictures when I was constantly biting my nails/cuticles. I am in my early 20s and I've been doing this to them since before I can remember (early childhood). I first tried to stop around 14, and have struggled since then. It is such an ingrained stress response/habit that it's taken me years to retrain myself. It was easier to stop biting my nails and I haven't done so at all in 6 months, but my cuticles/surrounding skin are another story. This is something I still struggle with as it's triggered by stress and I don't realize I've started until they're trashed. However, since January it's happened less and less, now maybe once a month or less.

What caused the change in me? Honestly, it was never one single thing. I have been building my ability to resist for years. I realize this is cliche but one important thing is to never give up. I've had too many backslides to count, from 1 day to even half a year at the most. What's helped me is NEVER accepting defeat, and always eventually trying again. One motivating factor was that I've always wanted to have nice nails for getting engaged/married. It was in January that that became an event occurring sooner rather than later, so I will definitely say that has helped me stay focused!

There was one part of stopping the habit that scared me after years of constantly damaging my nails and cuticles: would they ever properly heal and grow back 'normal'? As of yet I still do not have one straight answer. I will say that the strength in my nails has improved, although it is slow going. I am still on the lookout for products to help with this, although I think only time will help. I also tend to have some nails which are very ridged, but they've also continued to smooth out. Finally, there is one cuticle I have which was permanently damaged in a way that's difficult to explain. Basically, it grows in three separate sections, almost as if it's cut. I was absolutely AMAZED when it started to grow 'connected' again! I will say this it sometimes splits still, but it is definitely progress and I hope one day it's completely healed. So, if you're in the same boat and worried permanent damage has been done, I can't make any promises but I will say it's amazing how well they can bounce back - even if it takes months or years to reverse it.

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What helped me:

• Homemade nail oil pens - all you need are empty containers and Jojoba oil
  
• Burt's Bees lemon cuticle cream - I use this as extra moisturization/to 'seal' in the jojoba oil
  
• Splitting/cracking nails? Use brush on nail glue - WAY more effective/simple than the tea bag technique for me personally!
  
• 24/7 painted nails - letting them 'breathe' may be generally good advice, but I promise you biting them is more damaging
  
• No nail clippers/glass files only - I cannot tell you how much this helped my nails to stay strong and not constantly crack/split
  
  There is honestly so much more I could say but this post would be a book! I'm just taking the time now to sit back and enjoy all of my progress.

I know what it's like to be unable to afford therapy, but if you can afford a book, I highly recommend the Self Esteem Workbook by Glenn R. Schiraldi. It's not a replacement for therapy, but it's a a scientifically-based self-help book aimed at dissecting thought distortions and undoing core beliefs. I did this with a friend last year and it was hard work, but I'm in a much better and more stable place now emotionally.

Since you're seeing a GP anyway, you may also want to mention that you're having a hard time quitting skin picking. This can be related to anxiety, OCD, and/or other mental disorders, and your doctor may be able to prescribe something to help. Your doctor may also be aware of resources in the area for people like you who need therapy but can't afford it.

On a personal level, even if you aren't in a place to believe it now, I want you to know that I don't think you deserve to be hurt, and I think you're valuable just by virtue of being a human being. I'm proud of you for being so honest and vulnerable with us, and I hope you're able to overcome some of the negative thought patterns that are leading you to self-harm. I hope you'll keep us updated with your progress ❤️

Oiling your cuticles will:

1. make them soft and less tempting to pick at
   
   
2. make the new nail growth stronger and healthier
   
   
3. give you something to do other than biting/picking
   
   
   I like these Bliss Kiss nail oil pens
   
   Many people love Burts Bees cuticle cream
   
   Just put some around your nail on the cuticles and rub it in daily. I also recommend doing your own research to see what works for other people

I think it’s great that you found something that works. I am someone who, given a cuticle nipper, would wreck the shit out of my nails.

I just wanted to share these with you because they helped me get a little more of an understanding about my nails since I have to keep mine painted or I’ll forever pick them.

The cuticle

Perfect Cuticles

Here are some things I use:
Cuticle Remover


cuticle removal tool

I use one from Sally Hansen but that’s the gist of what it looks like.

Any and all the cuticle oil you an find. :)

I got something like this for when I was in work training- it helped with my fidgeting a little. I'm also trying out taking inositol, which some people says helps with anxiety and compulsive behaviors. If it makes a big difference, I'll post here. I also just tried drinking a lot of water once. Like, when I got the urge to bite, I would take a sip of water.

I got to about 2 months without biting my nails before, but all of that energy just went to other places. Nails made it easier to pick my skin, and I'd just paint my nails and flake the paint off :I

I've had positive results with QTICA. It's a small jar but just a dab of the stuff easily moisturizes all of my nails. I probably put it on an average of once per week or so and my original jar has lasted me a full year.

I have ADHD and I bit my nails pretty badly too. It's been 79 days since I've last bit my nails.

I use this fidget toy which has been the best I've ever used because it keeps my hand busy and I can roll/twirl it with my entire hand! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07QG449N3/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_i_90NPDbK3YK3V2

I also use a goal tracker app where I "x" out the days I haven't bitten to help keep me on track.

My nails tend to split it peel and I use Nailtiques formula 2 and I think it works because it feels a lot less and I've had to actually cut and file my nails!

If my nails do split or break I use a nail file to shape them.

I've been biting my nails for over 20 years and this has been my best streak. I've relapsed twice in my previous streaks but this has definitely been the longest.

I believe in you!

If you pick when you're anxious I would strongly recommend a fidget toy, like tangle toys or the fidget cube.

I started using one of these and it helped me immensely because I could fidget with that instead of picking my nails.

They are pretty cheap so it's a great place to start even if it might not work for you

Check out the matte OPI Nail Envy.
It's marketed more towards men because it isn't shiny and no one would think you are wearing "paint." Its an AMAZING strengthener and the matte version is nearly invisible. I promise your male-ness won't be compromised with this stuff :)

EDIT: Just noticed the product description literally says "Ideal for Men." Also make sure it's the matte Nail Envy, not the matte Top Coat. They look similar but are very different.

Just what it sounds like, cream for your cuticles.

I use this stuff, because it works well and smells good. :)

Cheaper, bigger tin with a similar consistency and ingredients (had current since December and I still have ~30% left) is badger balm! It's amazing and also available on Amazon here

These are soft, thin, stretchy, cheap white gloves you buy in bulk that might work I just tried typing with them, and you'd need them to be pretty snug, but I was definitely able to type in them.

What helped me to not bite also has been painting my nails. I bought a strengthening polish and took a few minutes every day to paint them with it.

I used these two:

OPI Nail Envy Original, 0.5 Ounce


Nailtiques Formula 2 Protein, .5 Ounce

"Orly Cuticle Therapy Creme" was by far the best thing I ever found. It works basically overnight for me. It says its nails and cuticles, but it works wonders on the skin around the nail too.

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https://www.amazon.com/Orly-Cuticle-Therapy-Creme/dp/B000AQI7UE

Get one of these: https://smile.amazon.com/Satin-Edge-Rubber-Cuticle-Cleaner/dp/B00198ZPU2 Make sure it has a scoopy thing on the one end and a curvy cuticle pusher backer on the other so there's nothing sharp there to tempt you. I'm amazed at how gross my clean-looking nails can get after I use this thing (and I use a nail brush every day in the shower, so it's not like I don't clean my nails!)

Late to the party, but they do sell it on Amazon.

Here is a link. I'm going to order a second pair for the car now that I've tested them out.

This is what i use