(Part 2) Top products from r/depression

Optimists may seem unrealistic to someone in the pits of depression, but there have been studies that have showed that optimists are far more successful and effective.

You can choose how to see things. When I react to something, my mind goes right to the negative. Let's say my boss criticizes me. My mind goes right to: I'm going to lose my job... I'm going to be homeless... I never get anything right... etc. This is assuming a lot of things that might not be anywhere near the reality of a situation.

An optimist might choose to see the criticism as a good thing - a chance to grow and learn - and not extrapolate to predicting doom. This is a far more productive course.

You can do "all the right things" on paper, but that is no guarantee of happiness for many reasons.

• What makes you happy might not be what makes everyone else happy.
  
• You may need exercise to be happier, but perhaps you aren't doing exercise that you enjoy. If you are doing exercise that you even loathe, it certainly wouldn't help.
  
• If you have a social life that isn't satisfying to you, it also won't help.
  
• The nature of depression can also mess with your enjoyment of things. You may no longer enjoy the things you used to love.
  
  There are lots of good books out there about this kind of thing. You can go to Amazon and look up books on happiness.
  
  I liked ["The Happiness Hypothesis"]. (http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Hypothesis-Finding-Modern-Ancient/dp/0465028020/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1317856948&sr=8-5). My husband liked ["Stumbling on Happiness."] (http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Happiness-Daniel-Gilbert/dp/1400077427/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1317856948&sr=8-7) I am currently reading "The Happiness Project" and loving it... a friend recommended it.
  
  All that said, the most effective way to treat depression is meds combined with therapy. Even with all the best books in the world, a wounded mind might not be able to do anything helpful with the information.

I strongly recommend that you read this book immediately - No More Mr. Nice Guy. I also strongly recommend you visit the seduction subreddit because the problems you are experiencing all stem from your lack of understanding of relationships and women. You need to learn how to figure out what you truly desire and how to be fearless in pursuit of those desires. I'm going to be brutally honest with you, but as a INTJ I think you'll find an analytical perspective extremely helpful.

My analysis (and keep in mind this is completely subjective) is that she wanted to be in relationship with you and wanted you to make the first move, but you didn't show any interest in taking things to the next level. Her love for you may have slowly started to dwindle as she became frustrated from trying to figure out your feelings toward her. The worse thing was the fact that it sounds like you basically friend-zoned her (even if you think you friend-zoned yourself), so she probably took it as a flat-out rejection. This probably hurt her deeply and made her constantly ask herself why she wasn't good enough. Her frustration and sadness may have turned to anger, leading her to shut you out completely. It could mean she's done with you entirely, but it could also be her way of sending you a message. Maybe she's too hurt to talk to you and needs some time alone before speaking with you again. Maybe it's a test and she wants to see if you'll find some way of contacting her (so she knows that truly care/love her) or if you'll just give up (so she knows that you weren't willing to fight for her). Maybe she's just cold-blooded and that's the last time you'll ever talk to her. It's hard to say because I don't know what your conversations were like or what your personality types are. Either way, the only thing left to do is learn from the situation and move forward.

Think about this: if you were in love with her, why on earth didn't you try to start a relationship with her when you had the chance? Even if you didn't live close to her, you could have tried a long-distance relationship. Telling her to go for another guy because you want her to be as happy as possible is a classic "nice-guy" fallacy. Not only are you giving up on your own happiness, there is absolutely no guarantee that she'll be happier with someone else. If anything, she would have been happiest with you because she loved you. Either way, you have to learn to be open about your desires and do what makes you happy.

Lastly, I would vote against starting a vlog to document all this. If you view it later, it may remind you too much of the pain you are feeling right now and you might slip back into a downwards spiral. You want to do the opposite. You want to do whatever you can to ease the pain and take your mind off of things. Distract yourself with activities that make you happy. Keep your mind busy. Build or create something complicated. I personally recommend exercise. The more rigorous the better. You'll be focused too much on your physical pain to even think about your mental pains. Use your depression as motivation to improve yourself. Read books, watch videos, and learn everything you can. It will take some time, but you'll eventually pick yourself back up and be even stronger and better than you were before.

You might want to read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407

Also, have you talked with your school's guidance counselor? You are badly in need of therapy.

Your friend Ari is amazing. You are very lucky to have such a great friend. Though please, please, please realize a few things.

• Ari is a person, too. She has her own limits. I realize the depression has you stuck in your head, but please don't push her past her limits.
  
• Most girls do NOT ever want to be compared to anyone's mom. I know you just meant it as a joke, but most girls find it deeply insulting. She just wants to be your friend. She never wants to "mother" you.
  
• New York is cold this time of year. And it's only getting colder. You should stay in Florida for the next 6 months.
  
• Do you ever ask Ari how she's doing? Look out for her interests, too. Friendship is a two-way relationship. Make sure you're giving back to the relationship somehow.
  
  Anyway, yeah, you need to find a therapist and start talking about your problems to a professional. I would go to your school's guidance counselor first since it sounds like your mother is the source of a lot of your problems.
  
  Good luck.
  
  PS: Punctuation is your friend... ;)

I found this to be useful for me at some point. It's partially CBT-ish, but also just has some practical suggestions & plans.

I also recommend checking out acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). It's a little less "logic" based than CBT, so it might work better for some people. Maybe try both. Here's a good ACT workbook: http://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life/dp/1572244259

Good luck.

Maybe he's over eager to show off his new stand up skills to his friends. My guess is he makes fun of people frequently enough to assume that it doesn't bother you. However, IMO your mistake is letting him say stuff like that without responding. You could have asked "what's your problem?" right then and there. Making your disapproval clear probably would have felt better than looking back and speculating on his intent.

As far as how to deal with people like this (and also perhaps help you in the workplace), I would recommend the book When I say no, I feel guilty. It is a book on assertiveness that I found pretty interesting and useful. Dealing with confrontation is a very important skill.

That is true. In my group you can tell before auditions who will be playing what role. It's frustrating as hell sometimes but I don't do it for a prominent role or anything, dancing is my gig! :D

Yeah I hear you, sometimes I feel like a broken record complaining at my SO. But I know he'd rather have me talk to him that bottle anything up. And I worry alot about how other people see me, which I know is beyond silly because the only opinion that should matter is my own. There is a massive difference between constant moaning and you genuinely feeling down. I guess it can start with your realisation of that and then moving forward.

I read this book once, I didn't take on board all the philosophy it was spouting but there are some good bits in there too.

Try the writing down of things. It really does help you get a clearer picture of what's going on. I write in a journal every evening and I find it therapeutic. At one point it was the only way I felt comfortable communicating how I felt, but it gets easier to share after a while :)

I was just diagnosed with Dysthymia and it sounds like you have it too. That article speaks of the double-depression you mention.

My psychologist recommended Depression for Dummies and despite its title, I'm finding it helpful. I'm just starting into it, but I am finding that I am relating to a lot of it.

Check out the wiki article, see what you think. Either way, I think it would help for you to check out the book. Your self-awareness is great and you should be able to start making some good progress with your psychologist.

Some parents are shitty. The problem is, they might not know that they're shitty. And if you try to let them know, they will get defensive, and do this shit like your Dad where he blames you and makes you feel more like shit. That's the problem with narcissistic parents -- they don't have the capacity for loving compassion for their own children. Sure, they love you when you make them proud, but it's all on their own terms. They aren't proud of you for being you. They're proud of you for fulfilling their own dreams. Kinda fucked up, right?

So you're mad. As well you should be. You recognize that you don't have take this shit from them anymore. But I totally know what you mean. It feels pathetic to be mad at them, doesn't it? This is good too. It illustrates your desire to move on to a wiser and healthier point of view.

I've been at this point very recently in my life, and this book http://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1572241985 has been pretty helpful in getting me to a better place, where I'm no longer carrying around all this anger.

My opinion: Work on forgiveness. Your parents might have led you astray, but you can forgive them. This doesn't mean you condone any of their actions. It means you can recognize that they didn't have full knowledge of how they were failing you. They didn't live up to what you needed at the time. Accept that they maybe never will. Work on being self-sufficient. Gradually work on forgiving them, and this anger will gradually dissipate.

The next step after that will be standing up for yourself. Finding a healthy, non-reactive assertiveness with your parents. Deciding which boundaries to set with them and learning how to set these boundaries.

It's understandable to not want to be a burden, and I'm sure there are certain limits on your friend's time and energy given his schedule. It's important to not de-legitimize the pain you're experiencing by saying that you're not deserving of at least some small portion of his time and support. If the friendship you have for your roommate is as strong as you're letting on, you should trust him to want to be there for you in your time of need. On a basic level, that's kind of what friends are for, and while I can completely relate to the impulse to want to withdraw and bottle things up in order to not be a burden, look at it from his perspective: avoiding him might make him feel like the energy he already spends on you is being wasted, or that you somehow don't value it as much as you obviously do. These little blurbs probably does a better job of explaining it than I can:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201107/why-its-so-difficult-love-people-who-dont-love-themselves
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201008/self-loathing-and-the-paradox-selfless-love

As for your financial situation, that sucks. Life always seems to find a way to pile on the misery in a series of brutal incessant blows, doesn't it? If you don't mind my asking, what kind of therapy were you going through? Personally, I've had some decent success with mine who practices ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy), which doesn't as the name might suggest mean resigning yourself to your current situation. It's an empirically supported therapy method (not all rise to this level), and after reading some of your other posts this may be something that you would at least enjoy reading a little bit about. Some of the pieces on cognitive fusion might be of particular interest to you given your background: it seems you do get that the way things were modeled for you really did not prepare you for life in a healthy way, but that you've still internalized a lot of those rules. Cognitive fusion basically describes our attachment to these kinds of verbal rules we hold, and a very big portion of ACT is learning to loosen our reliance on them. The following books explain this concept better than I can:

http://www.amazon.com/Things-Might-Terribly-Horribly-Wrong/dp/1572247118
http://www.amazon.com/Acceptance-Commitment-Therapy-Experiential-Approach/dp/1572309555/ref=sr_1_6?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1310155398&sr=1-6

The first is meant to be a little more accessible to the general public, and the second is meant more for therapists, but it's still pretty easy to follow. They do not read as lame self help books, if that's something you're worried about. ACT also tends to have a quicker turn around rate than some other therapy methods.

If you've managed to lose 45 pounds while struggling with some pretty systemic depression, you have a lot to be proud of. That shit isn't easy in the first place, let alone with all the bullshit that comes from being depressed, and you're still committed to working at it. Don't diminish the real importance of what you've already accomplished, and keep up the good work!

Intrinsic talent is only one tiny piece of the puzzle. Practice, skill, and passion take you a whole lot farther. You can be a good writer if you want to - you just need to find an excuse to do it most days, if not every day. You might not get hired right off the bat as an unseasoned 18-year-old with no higher education, but that doesn't mean you won't make it someday.

You are not ruined. You made a mistake, and now you're going to deal with the consequences constructively and let the lesson help you grow as a person.

You should read this book. Since you have bad-to-mediocre grades, you might well be well-served by spending a year at community college in order to prove that you can handle schoolwork, but any of the schools in that book would be excellent places to transfer.

PM me if you want to talk about writing careers more. I don't know a ton, but I am a professional writer with a bit of an unusual background, and maybe I can give you some advice.

Is there a counselor or anyone like that you can talk to? I know from experience that it's really hard to talk family and friends that don't have the same issues that you have because they don't really understand and tend to give shit advice.

Therapy would really do wonders for you. Not only because it gives you someone to talk to but also the therapist really helps you to figure ways to overcome any issues that you may be having. It can be somewhat scary and awkward at first, but if you keep an open mind about the whole thing it will get easier.

If you can't afford therapy or there isn't someone in the area that you feel like you can open up to, you might check out some self help books. I know they seem cheesy and are looked down upon by some people but the right ones really can help you figure out what is going on in your head and give you some steps to fix it. The only problem is that fixing it is all on you, no one to help you, and that's really difficult. I know what my problems are but I frequently regress into my old ways because that's what I'm used to. I found this one and this one really helpful. Both were recommended to me by my therapist, as well.

No problem! Sorry for the late response. I am getting much better. The worst is behind me now, hopefully.

1. My psychiatrist and therapist told my parents. They saw how poorly I was doing and met with my parents after calling them up to explain.
   
   
2. Meds don't make me feel numb. They make me feel normal!!!
   
   
3. There's a lot I can write about this. Do you like to read? I recommend http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-The-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382736170&sr=8-1&keywords=feeling+good , http://www.amazon.com/Self-Esteem-Cognitive-Techniques-Assessing-Maintaining/dp/1572241985/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382736207&sr=1-1&keywords=self+esteem , http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Jewels-Codependency-Robert-Willard/dp/0971642508/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1382736237&sr=1-1&keywords=seven+jewels+of+codependency .
   
   Those are supposed to be three links by the way. I'm too lazy to fix them though :P.
   
   Diet and exercise are very important though. I would say to get at least one to two servings of vegetables and one to two servings of fruit every day. Exercise at least thirty minutes daily. Get some sunlight every day. Ask your doctor about vitamin D supplementation. You will learn other things with a therapist such as identifying triggers and challenging negative and illogical thoughts. I forgot to mention that journaling helps a lot too. It's important to explore your feelings and it will speed up the recovery process along with giving you an idea of how you're progressing.
   
   You've got a great attitude. It will help you immensely! Keep the questions coming!

Upvoted for truth.

Darkness Visible by William Styron is the best attempt at an explanation to people who've never experienced the 'flame' before. Check it out if you're interested.

I would also greatly recommend I Had A Black Dog. A wonderfully succinct and readable book.

I come back with a book recommendation for meditation: Everyday Zen, by Charlotte Joko Beck. She speaks plainly, without unnecessary mysticism, and explains a proper way of thinking really well.

http://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Zen-Love-Work-Plus/dp/0061285897

I'm sure you could torrent a pdf or something, though I liked holding the book in my hands and reading it. It may be at your library, too.

This book is not to help you deal with your current situation, but may be of help in the future when you're dealing with the emotional baggage you and you siblings will carry with you as you become adults. Part of being a parent is putting your childrens' needs before your own wants and desires. While they aren't completely neglectful, they aren't exactly meeting your needs.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0553381407

"If I had a dollar (well, maybe $2) for every time I hear “I am not depressed, I am just realistic”, “Anyone who isn’t depressed isn’t paying attention”, "

Waiiit a minute... I thought this was true. There was a reference in Stumbling on Happiness, that happy people had less realistic and mroe of a fantasy ideas about the future.

Any thoughts? I have actually been trying to be less realistic!

Edit:
http://www.amazon.com/Stumbling-Happiness-Daniel-Gilbert/dp/1400077427/ref=cm_lmf_tit_2

There is a book my dad gave me once to borrow. It's called "F*** IT!!" And it helped my dad a lot. He has read it more than a few times. It didn't help me as much but there is some information in there that is helpful

EDIT: here it is
https://www.amazon.co.uk/F-k-Ultimate-Spiritual-Way/dp/1848500130

Well, it does sound like good ol' fashioned depression. Does anyone in your family suffer from it? Get yourself tested for other possible psychiatric disorders or even nutritional deficiencies or something like diabetes. Our brain is just an organ, and even though we have developed a highly evolved consciousness, it is still affected to a large extent by what's going on in our body.
Also, have you tried any medications?

At the same time, you may have to rewire your thinking. Pick up a good workbook on CBT(http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1608823806?keywords=cbt%20workbook&qid=1453122350&ref_=sr_1_4&sr=8-4). It's okay to be a skeptical, but it will help you out a lot. You can also try meditation.

These are the standard things that I would recommend to anyone who is depressed and things that have personally worked for me.

My advice would be to get some assertiveness training. This book is cheap (only shipping) and it's one of the best on the subject.

You have been locked into the role of "the always responsible one", which can be quite harmful. You have learned to put your own desires aside and just be there for others. Over time, you have learned not to take care of your own needs, shit, you probably don't even know what they are anymore. Basically, your role doesn't give you the right to cause trouble, to fight for your own needs, be selfish, rock the boat or be the one needing help for once. That is very draining.


This story is very similar to my biography and that book seriously helped to break out of that role and live life for yourself again. It can help you see that you can very well handle to break out of that shitty script and develop and defend your own desired way of living. One of the best -that is highest-impact -books I've read in my life.

Give them this book to read, it explains things really well:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Had-Black-Dog-Matthew-Johnstone/dp/1845295897

You could try out this book (Get out of your mind and into your life): http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572244259/ref=pd_aw_sims_8?pi=SL500_SY115&simLd=1

There are a bunch of similar books on amazon - The "workbooks" are basically what you would be doing in cognitive behavioral therapy without the therapist.

Your post screams Nice Guy Syndrome. I've been there and it sucked more than eight years out of me. You should read No More Mr. Nice Guy. This book really helped me change the way I see these things.

you might find this book interesting: Will to Meaning

It sounds like we're in the same boat. I was on Lexapro for about 4 days but that felt like it was going to kill me. I'm on Wellbutrin now. It's a step in the right direction & I definitely feel much better than before the medication. But I still don't feel right. If before I was dead, now I'm the walking dead. I'm up and about, but this isn't me.


I think that what I really need is to get my exercise routine back. However I can't bring myself to go to the gym for more than a few days. I figured someone here might be feeling the same & have an idea...

My current plan - which isn't great - is to keep adding external stimuli. If the goal is to go to the gym 3 days a week, then I would plan out the time. Wake up and take something like this. I don't know how much it will help with the actual workout, but it has to be enough to get me out of the house! I came here looking for a better plan, but I guess this is what it is for now.

[Notes from the Nervous Breakdown Lane]
(http://www.amazon.com/Notes-Nervous-Breakdown-Lane-Brown/dp/0060960140/ref=sr_1_9?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331626695&sr=1-9&tag=bookforyoudm-20)

Oh, that's unfortunate. Do you have health insurance? You may be able to see a therapist outside of your university that is well versed in CBT. CBT is kind of touted as the best therapeutic technique out there now. Many new books on depression and anxiety focus on the principles of CBT. When I was in the hospital for suicidal thoughts, they had me do CBT therapy. Also, when I went to depression groups, we practiced CBT. Perhaps if you are really eager to help yourself out, you can get a book on CBT. I have this book: http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Depression-Step-/dp/1608823806/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1371317980&sr=8-4&keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy. It was pretty helpful.

We have so much less control of our own minds than we would like to think.

A book that really helped me out was "The Happiness Hypothesis" http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Hypothesis-Finding-Modern-Ancient/dp/0465028020/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1314305590&sr=8-1

The author uses a metaphor of the human mind as a rider on a elephant. The rider is your conscious self: the part of you that wants to stop being depressed. The elephant is your unconscious. You can't just tell yourself to be happy or to stop smoking or eat less or whatever no matter how much you want to. Just like the rider on the elephant can't just tell the elephant to turn around. Trying to be forceful with the elephant will just result in it kicking your ass. You have to learn how to steer the elephant. You have to learn about the elephant's tendencies and how to outsmart it.

Changing yourself is hard. It might take medication, therapy, meditation, exercise, or any of a million different things. Mostly you have to realize that you are fighting a battle with a part of yourself that is way bigger than you. Don't listen to people who say "Just be happy"; they don't understand how the human mind works.

I have one and it worked while I was using it. The problem is that the instructions say you need to sit in front of it for 30-45 min/day. I used to use it while I was checking my email in the mornings before I went to class, but finding enough time in one session to sit down was difficult for me.

> What happens when someone you thought was a friend just says that they let you lean on them because you're needy and you were having a rough time?

I don't quite understand what you're saying: that's sort of what friends are supposed to do (let you lean on them when times are rough). Are you worried that they're only listening to you out of pity? That may be true, but you could also be selling them a bit short. If perhaps they feel you are leaning on them too much, it might be wise to cut back with that one particular friend and rely on someone else as well to talk to, but it is important to talk to someone.

If you're getting stuck in these vicious cycles and circular thinking, you should really see a therapist, because that's what they shine at untangling. The only way to break a vicious cycle is to throw a wrench in the whole thing and go from there. If you find that you're dealing with your depression by talking to the same person, and you say the same thing, in the same way, at the same time after having eaten the same sandwhich for lunch, and that he rolls his eyes at you the same way he did the 14 other times he heard you say exactly the same thing, maybe it's time to try something different. To go back to my being in a hole analogy, maybe that means that you stop trying to dig yourself out of the hole by doing exactly the same thing you've been doing for so long. After all, it hasn't gotten you out. And that's all beating yourself up as done: keep you in exactly the same place.

I had a lot of success with ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). It has a strong focus on mindfulness activities, and has a strong body of empirical research (which isn't as common as you might think) to back up its use. I also ripped my analogy straight from an ACT text, so if you didn't think it was the most retarded thing you've ever heard you might want to check out the following books.

A quick ACT primer:
http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/090208p36.shtml


The ACT "Bible". This one is more of a clinical manual but it is fairly accessible.

ACT Made Simple The content of the above made for non clinicians.

Things might go terribly, horribly wrong. This one is meant for clients, and isn't really a self help book. There's a big focus on dealing with anxiety, which may not apply so much too you but the strategies for cognitive defusion are kind of the same as what I think an ACT therapist would recommend for you to do.

Find an ACT therapist:
http://contextualpsychology.org/civicrm/profile?gid=17&reset=1&force=1
or
www.psychologytoday.com "Find a therapist"

This is part 2 of the other reply. I separated it because the other was getting long and this will have a different flavor to it anyway. I'm trying to collect resources here that will act as the best substitute for what you will get in therapy that you can start using to make a difference now. I'm no expert of course, but I've been down a few of the same roads before and I at least know part of what they will tell you in advance :)

> Well I am extremely panicky about going downstairs as I really don't know my grandparents well. Also they don't like the food I cook (strong spices) so they make little comments. Also, I have a fear I have always had, of eating in front of people. Plus I can't stand eating noises. I can get food no problem, I always try to have some carrots and fruit in my room along with some bread, but it's not really a replacement for a home cooked meal. I also (irrationally) fear people judging me if I buy something.

These are the areas in addition to the anorexia where therapy will be the most beneficial. There are a few main things that therapy will provide for you, and some of them you don't have to wait for a professional to tell you to start getting benefits. The first thing you get in therapy is patient education. In your case, "What is anxiety, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?", and "What is anorexia, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?". It's dangerous to assume that just because you are personally experiencing these phenomena that you know the answers to these questions... In my case, my biggest struggle has been with depression, and even well into my treatment in professional therapy, I didn't understand that "feeling sad" wasn't even a necessary component of depression, and that really held me back for a long time from understanding/believing that depression was truly what I was going through.

To this end, I've gone and done some basic searching to find the reading that I would do if I were in your shoes. These are by no means the only or best resources, but given that I know very little about eating disorders, the random google search will tend to be far more practical and informative than it will be misleading:

http://www.recoveryranch.com/articles/eating-disorders/eating-disorder-your-life/

http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/anorexia-nervosa.html

http://psychcentral.com/disorders/eating_disorders/

The second main thing that therapy will help you do is to learn how you interact with the world, and how your mind processes information it receives. In particular, most of these processes are invisible to us if we don't really slow down and learn to recognize the signs, and there are ways that they can go wrong, so that the information that reaches our conscious mind has been severely distorted as compared to objective reality. I want to emphasize here that there is no magic to therapy... it's pretty common in today's society to have this mental image of going into therapy and talking about your problems for an hour and then somehow the fact that you told all of this to a stranger suddenly makes you feel better. If that were the case I would tend to suspect such a person wasn't really in that much need of therapy in the first place. In my experience, the biggest gains from therapy come out of the work you do every day between sessions to change your mental state and environment. The professional guidance is important and useful to figure out where to focus your limited resources to have the most beneficial impact, and to help you understand what is and isn't genuine progress so that you don't fall prey to the traps of your own thinking, but the hard work is really done by you.

With that in mind, I think you might find some benefit from a good self-help workbook or two. The workbook aspect is key here, because a lot of the relief will come by actually doing the exercises recommended by the workbook, and answering the questions thoughtfully and learning about yourself during that self-reflection. These are the same things that therapy will generally ask you to do (although much more personalized and with other complicating factors taken into account), and I think you could expect at least some initial benefit. It will also help make the therapy sessions more productive once you are able to get to them, since you have some idea of what you are already trying to do, and the therapist will be able to help you understand the finer points more readily than if you are going in blind.

For anxiety and panic, the following two workbooks both come recommended by my therapist and my wife's (she also has panic attacks, though not as frequently now as before):

http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912

http://www.amazon.com/Panic-Attacks-Workbook-Program-Beating/dp/1569754152/

For the eating disorder, I suspect that something similar would be a good idea, but I unfortunately don't have any direct experience with this so I can't make any informed recommendations. The first book below is the most applicable that I can find that has reasonable reviews (although not as many as I would generally prefer), and the second is the most highly reviewed book that I can find about the relationship between food and emotions in general, but I think it tends to focus on overeating to avoid other emotional problems rather than a food disorder itself. This still could be helpful though because the relationship between food and emotions is always complicated, and a better understanding of this might help alleviate the fears you describe about weight gain and such.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Image-Workbook-Eight-Step/dp/1572245468/

http://www.amazon.com/The-Food-Feelings-Workbook-Emotional/dp/0936077204/

That's a lot for now, I'll stop here and wait to see what you think of all this :)

Depression is a disease, and like cancer, it doesn't give a damn whether it affects people with wonderful lives or with shitty lives. You are falling into the trap of the stigma of depression that it somehow should only affect people who have problems. You may have been lurking on this site, but you haven't done much research about depression itself.

First I would suggest sitting down and watching all of this video: Stanford's Sapolsky On Depression

Then check out these books:
The Noonday Demon

Darkness Visible

Undercurrents

and read through these websites: nami and dbsa