(Part 2) Top products from r/everymanshouldknow

My son is 5 months. The best reading will depend on who you are, your life experiences, and what you are looking for. This is merely a list of books I've read between shortly before his birth and now and have given me a lot to think about as a man, a father, and a husband.

• The 5 languages of Love
  
• No More Mr. Nice Guy
  
• The Myth of Male Power
  
• Siddartha
  
• Living Nonviolent Communication
  
• Nonviolent Communication
  
• Punished By Rewards
  
• Unconditional Parenting (in progress)
  
  Also regularly reviewing information from CDC on Developmental Milestones. Great advice on what to watch out for and when, including what to childproof how and when.
  
  I wasn't going to write a summary, but now that I look at the list, It deserves some context. So, one sentence quick blurb per book in order, my take away thought from the book.
  
  
• What makes you feel like you are expressing your love may be different than what makes your partner feel loved -- know the difference and let it be an ongoing conversation.
  
  
• Be honest with people about your feelings good and bad with everyone you care about -- they are equally a part of who you are and you are cheating yourself and others when you don't.
  
  
• Be mindful of how you invest your time and energy. Money / career is great, but it CANNOT substitute for being present in the life of your family.
  
  
• Your child is not a continuation of your legacy or life lessons. They will not be born having learned from your mistakes. Knowledge (what you have to share) is no substitute for wisdom (what can only be gained from personal experience).
  
  
• Our culture does not emphasize need / feelings based communication.
  
  
• Empathy is something to be studied and practiced if we are to have or communicate good emotional well-being.
  
  
• Training kids into approval-seeking behavior is highly overrated and has perverse consequences.
  
  
• Nearly every parent may love their kids unconditionally, but is that what kids are really learning through your behavior?
  
  Anyway, not trying to claim these are the best books for everyone, but I am very grateful for the insights I gained from reading them. Happy to share more if you have any questions about them. Hope you find a selection that inspires you and that you never stop seeking more great books to read. Best luck and congratulations on your journey. :)
  
  

I've shaved my mashers and bang/taint/funhole for years and years, so let me contribute.

So let's assume you've never blessed yourself with a shorn scrotum: There are two methods you can use to rid yourself of hair. I'll go over both, since I've done both extensively.

---

>Shaving:

USE A NEW RAZOR FOR THIS. Old razors deteriorate and the blades get bent/dulled. You don't want dull blades tugging at hairs and nicking you up down there.

1. Trim up. Get a body-hair trimmer like a Norelco Bodygroom or just a regular hair-trimmer and take care most of the bush. Go with the shortest guard it'll allow-- Not using a guard is a good way to get a few nicks, not something you want down in your dangly bits. You want to get yourself short enough where a razor won't get caught and cut you up in masses of hair.
   
   
2. Get in the shower, and get that bitch nice and hot. You don't want to try shaving dry, hell no. Wash your hair, brush your teeth, do all of your regular shower things to give your pubes a bit to get wet and soften up. This'll make it so much easier, trust me.
   
   
3. Start shaving WITH the grain. Make a few passes. Don't press down on the razor, just let it do its job. You won't get it all in one go, and that's fine.
   
   
4. Go across the grain. If your hair looks like this: |||||, shave in this ---> direction, or this <--- direction. The best would be doing a pass of each.
   
   
5. Go against the grain. Now, at this point, if you feel smooth enough, feel free to stop. Going against the grain may cause irritation and ingrown hairs, so know your body and know how your hair responds. The biggest lesson is DO NOT PRESS DOWN ON THE RAZOR. You will only irritate your skin and nick yourself. Be patient and take your damn time.
   
   
6. Finish the job. If you shave your dick, you must also shave your balls, otherwise you might as well just not even do it. It may be scary the first time taking a razor to your jumblies, but it's simple and quite safe, if you're careful (For the record, I've never nicked myself shaving down below, yet I can butcher my face when I'm not careful). Just take the sack in one hand and GENTLY pull it to stretch the skin, and run the razor lightly over it, front and back, starting the stroke from the underside of your dick and dragging down towards your feet. Don't bother too much with grain direction here, it won't matter that much.
   
   
7. The Gooch/Ass/Asshole: You should also run over these areas with a hair trimmer/bodygroom before you go at it with a razor. The secret here is the same as the rest of your sensitive bits: Go slow, don't press down with the razor, and relax. The taint is tricky, but you can navigate it by feel pretty well. The ass/asshole is simple, except for the hole. If you're shaving your ass, you aren't gonna leave the hole hairy, so when you shave it, shave starting from the pucker and stroke AWAY. Do not shave ACROSS the sphincter, else you're just asking for a rough ride. Remember: DO NOT PUSH DOWN ON THE RAZOR.
   
   For your balls, you might want to make a run over them later when you're dry. Helps get those stray hairs.
   
   >Post-Shave Care:
   
   Once you get out, pat-dry the areas you've shaved. If you get razor burn, get some Vitamin E cream or moisturizer and spread a little down there. This will help the skin heal, and probably cool things off. I like to pat a little Gold Bond down there, because if I'm going to be fancy enough to shave my balls, I'm going to powder them like an English Nobleman.
   
   Itching: This is normal if this is your first time shaving/it's been a while since you've shaved. You shouldn't itch as bad or even at all the second time around, so just tough it out.
   
   Farts: You'd better be ready, because you can no longer sneak these fuckers. The bare skin will amplify your ass air to trumpet-like levels. Be prepared to use your flesh-valve a lot more efficiently after this.
   
   Sweat: You might feel like your ass/gooch is a lot sweatier than usual. It's not, you just lack friction from your now-missing hair down there. Invest in some boxer-briefs if it bothers you. You get used to this as well.
   
   ---
   >Depilatory Creams
   
   Alright, so now that we've covered shaving, let's discuss using chemical hair removers. I wouldn't use Nair on your private parts, you will burn yourself. You have to find something for sensitive skin (Which I'm sure Nair has now). I am a fan of Magic Shave. It's a powder you mix with water, then slather all over your crotch, wait a while, then rub off gently with a washcloth. You can get if off Amazon, or find it at most any drugstore in the shaving/hair removal aisle. Takes the hair right off and leaves you SMOOTH AS FUCK. It's messier and takes a little more time, but it's worth it in the end.
   
   They do sell it as a pre-mixed cream, but ever time I've used it it's been very lackluster, even after leaving it on for several minutes past the recommended time.
   
   
8. Test it somewhere like your inner thigh. Mix a small bit, put it on for the prescribed amount of time (7 or so minutes, in my case), and wash it off. Wait a day to see if there are any adverse effects. Skipping this step is not recommended, seeing as a small allergic reaction on your thigh is a lot easier to handle than one all over your fucking dick.
   
   
9. Mix. I use a mason jar, put in equal parts of the power and water, and shake it up. The I use something like a rubber spatula to scoop it out and slather it from dick (Try to limit getting any on the glans. It won't kill you, but you don't generally want depilatory cream on sensitive membranes like that) to asshole. The more you use, the better. Be sure to place a towel under you/do this in the tub to catch any that might drip.
   
   
10. Wait. Set a timer and just stand around a bit. Brush your teeth. Floss. I don't care, just wait out the 5-7 minutes.
    
    
11. Hop in the shower. Lukewarm water is the best for this stuff, I'd avoid going really hot though. Grab a washcloth and slowly rub the stuff off in a circular motion while under the stream. You might have to give some hairs a gentle tug to get them out, but it shouldn't take you any real effort. You may miss spots, and that's okay, you can get them next time. You should probably have a set washcloth just for this, because Magic Shave does have a tendency to stain.
    
    
12. Pat dry. If you left it on a little too long, it might feel somewhat like razor burn. Use some Vitamin E/Moisturizing cream on it and dial the time back a little next time.
    
    
    
    All in all, I much prefer using Magic Shave to rid myself of hair, because it leaves me MUCH smoother and isn't as expensive as wearing razor cartridges out. Enjoy shaving, and know that your girlfriend/boyfriend will REALLY appreciate it.
    
    EDIT: Thank you for the gold, kind soul! May your balls be eternally smooth and velvety.

I got your list right here:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho - great story about finding your way in life, destiny, etc. One of my personal favorites and a real life changer for me personally (read it when I was 14, very impressionable)

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominigue Bauby - memoirs of a magazine editor who has a stroke and goes from being a hot shot playboy to being paralyzed. He loses all motor function and the whole book is written by him blinking out the letters. Despite it all he has a razor wit and such a positive outlook it really makes you think about your own life and what is important to appreciate.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig - kind of an interesting book that gives you a historical breakdown of philosophy all through a somewhat biographical story about a motorcycle trip with his son. Has some really insightful views on what is quality and what is the point of education. Highly recommend for anyone just starting college.

Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman by Richard P Feynman - Autobiography/memoir of one of the greatest minds to ever live. From learning how to pick locks while working on the manhattan project, experimenting with acid, and learning the bongos. Dr. Feynman has such a passion for life, science, and learning it's contagious. Seriously, just see how excited he gets about rubberbands.

Get one of these
I have tried shaving with different face razors and I always get the itchy five o'clock shadow. I did have better luck with the newest gilette 5 blade razor, but the Norelco Body groomer is magic. No itch when it grows back and you can trim or shave. It also works on chest and back hair.

Whether you need to shave or not is personal preference. I am 44 and when I was 20, nobody did it. However it seems like for kids today it is a requirement to be at least neatly manicured. Since my recent divorce I have been manscaping because the ladies do seem to appreciate it. I find a nice trim on the bushes is good. The shaft I keep bare, and while I have completely shaved the balls as well I find that keeping the hair short is better for sweat management. I do it in the shower and use liberal amounts of soap. The Norelco Groomer is waterproof.

You forgot foot proximity and direction. The closer feet are between two people conversing show a great deal of comfort between the two. The direction that the feet are facing are also good indicators of if that person is interested in you or the conversation. For instance, if you are telling them about how awesome the duck billed platypus is and their feet are toward the door while their upper body is facing you that is a good indicator this person wants to leave. Leg crossing can be a sign of discomfort and is often associated with shielding. Shielding is when someone feels discomfort or nervous and essentially builds a barrier between them and the source of discomfort. Crossed arms, crossed legs, maybe putting a purse or drink between the source and themselves. If in mid conversation you mention your impressive video game collection and the girl in question, who has been leaning close to you all night, starts to lean back in her chair, crosses her legs and arms, and places her hand on her neck she might not be too impressed. Neck touching can also be a good indicator of nervousness and discomfort. Women often touch their suprasternal notch when nervous, it can be very casual maybe with the index and middle finger while their arms are crossed. Neck touching is a soothing gesture, it can lower heart rate and blood pressure.

The big thing about all of this is finding a baseline of body language actions people do. None of this is written in stone, some people might just touch their neck or cross their legs. If in a bar a girl might not feel comfortable with the crowd but are interested with you.

If you want a reference for all of this I got it from Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlin's "What Every Body is Saying". Joe Navarro worked for the FBI as an interrogator. Navarro was called "The Human Lie Detector. It wont directly teach you how to pick up girls, however it will teach you how to tell of someone doesn't feel comfy around you or with what you are saying. Another good thing to study is Paul Ekman's website on micro gestures in the face. It costs about $70 to subscribe, but you learn a lot.

Sources:
What Every Body is Saying on Amazon
Paul Ekman's website

I'm planning to write a post in the interior soon but for now...

The first step is to give everything a really good going over with a vacuum. This is where you need to spend most of your time. Almost everything that's not leather can be cleaned with an All Purpose Cleaner (UK link and US link):
Spray it on, agitate with a brush (ordinary paint brush will do). Then...

If it's fabric - vacuum with a wet-dry vac (use a cloth if you don't have one)
If it's trim - wipe dry with a microfibre (UK link and US link)

To protect things I really like 303 Aerospace Protectant... it protects against fading caused by UV radiation (UK link and US link)

Leather is a different kettle of fish and you need to use a cleaner then a conditioner (UK link and US link)

As little as possible. The more crap you have, the more it weighs you down.
That said, every home needs some necessities to get by. For me those generally involve cooking, sleeping, and repairs. I just finished watching Parks & Rec and am in a bit of a Ron Swanson mood.

For the kitchen (all recommended by America's Test Kitchen):

Victorinox 8" Chef's Knife

Victorinox Paring knife

CDN Instant Read Thermometer

Lodge 12" skillet - cheap and will last you forever

Crockpot, 6qt - the one kitchen appliance I'd cheat with. Easy delicious meals. Toss in a cheap cut of meat (chuck roast, etc), salt, pepper, garlic, onions, carrots, whatever. Let it sit for 6-8 hours. Dinner for 3 meals.

Tools:

I'd probably just pick up a cheap set of craftsman stuff (screwdrivers, hammer, sockets, pliers). Splurge on the ratchet and any power tools you need:

Bahco 3/8" ratchet - same as snapon F80 at 1/2 the price

Other misc. tools that are quite handy:

Magnetic stud finder - in a new place you're going to be hanging pictures, installing shelving, and mounting curtain rods. These are dirt cheap and super convenient.

Multimeter - Flukes will last you for life. If you need to do any electrical work, these are great. If you don't want to splurge up front just borrow them or buy a cheap $15 one at home depot.

Bedroom:

Get comfortable pillows and nice sheets. Don't get all caught up in the 1000 thread count crap, it's a hoax. Just get at least 400tc or so, and preferably egyptian or pima cotton. My favorite sheets are actually a super cheapo brand that are 60% cotton 40% polyester. I prefer them because they feel more "smooth and cool" rather than "soft and warm".

Obviously get real furniture: dresser, bed with headboard, etc.

Electronics

I won't go into too much detail here, but consider cutting the cord (/r/cordcutters).

A cheap Roku3 + netflix + an OTA antenna can go a long way.

If you have a lot of pictures/media/etc, don't forget about backups. I'd look into an inexpensive NAS, or at least a USB harddrive. They are dirt cheap and worth the insurance.

Insurance

Lastly, don't forget renters or homeowners insurance. If you are renting, you can get rather good coverage for quite cheap. I just paid around $50 for 12 months of coverage on my apartment ($15k coverage, $1k deductible). I shopped around at 5 different places and Amica came out the cheapest by FAR.

Other than that, you don't need much. Buy less crap. Don't buy some $50 automatic electronic wine opener when a $1 wine key will do the job. Same for a can opener.

As others have said, there's no set answer for everyone. Grief is different depending on the survivor's emotional makeup, how they were raised, and the particular relationship they had with the deceased.

One thing to remember is that even the hardest days end. Every day will present a different level of difficulty, but it's just for a day, then you start again tomorrow. Sleep will be invaluable; don't neglect it.

It's probably a bad idea to "just keep yourself busy" and hope that your grief will clear itself up. It's like leaving for work one day and hoping that your house will be clean when you get back. There are things you can do, and should do.

Face your grief head on when you can. Don't avoid the thoughts that pop into your head. Think about them. Turn them over and examine them. Ask yourself why you may feel a certain way. If you're in a situation where you can't give your grandfather the mental time you want to, file it away and deal with it later, preferably before the day ends. Emotions are energy and that energy has to go somewhere. Grief has a lot of energy and you don't want that flying around in your head with no direction.

Be realistic about any guilt that may come up. E.g. when my father died I had to fight not to feel guilty about our relationship, but I constantly reminded myself that the state of our relationship wasn't only decided by me. Remember the good things about the person you've lost, but don't idealize them. Try to have a sense of humor about their shortcomings. If ever there was a time to forgive someone (for your own sake) for their mistakes it's after they die; you can't confront them about it, so you're only holding on to bitterness.

Grieve with someone if you can. Share your grief with other family members if they're willing to be open about their feelings.

Don't be embarrassed about your feelings. You have every right to feel them, and you don't always have control over when they come up. If you need to cry, cry. It's not weakness. Having tender feelings for someone you love is a strength.

I'm very sorry that you can't be with your grandfather anymore. It sucks. It really really sucks. But admit to yourself that you can't be with him. At the proper time remember to say goodbye. It can be very hard when the time comes, but there is a great feeling of relief when you've reached the point when you say, "I love you, but you're not here anymore and I have to let you go."

I highly recommend reading The Grief Recovery Handbbook. It has a lot of very practical, very balanced advice. A friend recommended it when my dad died and I got three chapters in and bought copies for the rest of my family.

I wish you all the best in the days to come. They'll be difficult. But they'll get bright again. I promise.

In terms of good cookbooks which go along with this simplistic but strong theory, I highly recommend Nigel Slater's Real Cooking.

They make special tenderizers for that purpose, things like this, I've got one and it's awesome.

Check out the books Emotions Revealed and Telling lies by Dr. Paul Eckman who is an expert in facial expession analysis (main character in the show Lie To Me was loosely based on him). The first book goes into detail about how facial expressions are hardcoded and intrinsically linked to our emotions. It turns out that facial expressions linked to the basic emotions (happy, sad, fear, surprise, anger, contempt and disgust) are universal and by studying the facial expressions connected to these emotions, you can become better at reading people. Also in many cases when people are hiding their emotions they display subconscious cues of how they are actually feeling and sometimes micro expressions. Reading this book and studying it really helped my ability to read people.

The second book is a more thorough study of how lying works on a biological basis and lie detection works, but also discusses why it's really really diffict to do accurately (also describes why polygraph tests are bullshit). Both are great books and definitely worth a read.

I asked this same question here on reddit. Someone recommended this book: http://www.amazon.com/Willpower-Rediscovering-Greatest-Human-Strength/dp/0143122231

I liked it. I still have it on my shelf. I feel like it helped me get through law school.

Chef's knife. 8" is most common, I think. 7" and 6" work as well, might be better to have a smaller one if you're new. For an affordable, quality option the Victorinox is highly recommended.

http://www.amazon.com/Victorinox-Swiss-8-Inch-Fibrox-Straight/dp/B008M5U1C2

For those who are interested in reading a little bit more on the subject of body language, I read the book What Everybody is Saying a few years ago and found it fairly interesting.

http://www.amazon.com/Honest-Amish-Beard-Balm-Conditioner/dp/B009NNFB0O/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1404270829&sr=8-2&keywords=beard+oil

Blessed Beard Balm Brother!

Kenji is actually a redditor and I would highly recommend picking up his book "The Food Lab", it is fantastic!!

Further reading for nice guys/white knights (much less accusatory and condescending than this article): http://www.amazon.co.uk/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy-ebook/dp/B004C438CW/

I got this one for $18 last year. It went up to $24 now. Works well, just plug it into your OBD slot, fire up Torque and pair it with your smart phone (I use a Nexus 7) and that's it. I keep it in my car and since I always have my phone or tablet with me, I can pull readings whenever I need to.

There are 3 products any guy with a beard should use. The first is a beard specific shampoo, i prefer Professor Fuzzworthy. Use this daily in the shower. Next is the beard Balm this is really what will help with the dandruff. It keeps your skin moist and beard soft. Use it one or twice a day. The last item is beard oil, this will help a little with the dandruff but is more for keeping your beard soft and preventing split ends. Use this as needed, especially if you touch your beard a lot.

Early last summer I bought a $1650 car with over 200k miles and have done a lot of work on it because of that...I knew what I was buying. This video taught me that O2 sensors aren't always the easy fix. I found a major vacuum leak that solved my problem. And, with this OBDII reader and the TorquePro App, free version available too, I found out that my O2 sensors are totally fine.

Extending off of this article, this is when a steak tenderizer can really come in handy as well.

Here is the mobile version of your link

Got mine on Amazon. You might have to ask someone who works in your local book store where it'd be, or have them look it up.

Dude Wipes.

http://amzn.com/B008LXBZF2

There you go: http://www.amazon.com/dp/1885071620

They make individually packaged butt wipes, if you're worrying about how you'd be able to surreptitiously use wipes at work. Check out Dude Wipes on amazon (as an example).

edit: non-affiliate link - http://www.amazon.com/Dude-Wipes-Flushable-Singles-Travel/dp/B008LXBZF2

Get this book and read it.

There's a lot of advice out there, and you won't be able to tell which is reliable and which everyone believes simply because it sounds logical. The book discusses the science behind willpower.

It may not have that many tips, but I think it's key to understanding why certain attempts in the past lead to failure.

Now required reading but any or all of these will make your journey through like a bit less confusing:

• How Real is Real
  
• How To Fail Most Successfully
  
• The Pursuit of Unhappiness

This is the shower head I bought when I moved into my place.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0006VVN1S/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

It's filtered too. Just take out the restrictor inside and the pressure should be pretty strong. For me, the water pressure actually hurts a bit in the beginning. Once you feel the pressure is getting weaker, just change the filter.

This is actually quite a timely post. I just bought a bunch of leather cleaning products and conditioning for my leather jackets and boots.

My goods:

• Lexol Sponges
  
  
• Leather Honey Conditioner
  
  
• Chemical Guys Leather Cleaner and Conditioner
  
  
• Bees Wax
  
  Most of this is for the leather jackets I own and have been abusing to heck with some water damage and snow damage. Boots that need a good cleaning and conditioning. And my old leather wallet that is looking like an old leather rag.

Reminds me of one of the funniest things I've ever read. The amazon reviews for 'Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200mL'.


"DO NOT PUT ON KNOB AND BOLLOCKS
Being a loose cannon who does not play by the rules the first thing I did was ignore the warning and smear this all over my knob and bollocks. The bollocks I knew and loved are gone now. In their place is a maroon coloured bag of agony which sends stabs of pain up my body every time it grazes against my thigh or an article of clothing. I am suffering so that you don't..."

Link to reviews here.