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I completely share your definition of present truth, and it was a driving force that led me to pursue further education outside of Adventist circles! I, too, certainly consider it foundational to Adventist belief. I deeply feel the same dissonance between embracing al-encompassing fundamental beliefs which leave little room for inquiry, and the purported embrace of an endless pursuit of further insight, discovery, and learning!

You make a fantastic point about the Bible Commentary (which has a fascinating history, compellingly portrayed in portions of Herold Weiss' Finding My Way in Christianity: Recollections of a Journey). Because Adventism is sectarian in how it relates to the wider world, this is inevitably reflected in foundational works like a Bible Commentary series. I think you'll same the same phenomenon occur in the upcoming commentary, which believe it or not is in active development! I'm not sure when it will be released, I just know scholars have been working on writing for it since at least 2010, though I've heard it started even in the 90s (maybe there's been a few false starts along the way, political forces in the church perhaps bearing the blame for this!). The Andrews Study Bible is the closest thing we have to a contemporary Adventist Bible commentary.

The funny thing about all this is, while Adventism seems to maintain such a stringent and limited worldview, it is also hard to know when someone is effectively no lo longer an Adventist. For me, it was a decision to make liberal Protestant Christianity my home so that I could experience greater freedoms and versatility in my academic work, but there wasn't necessarily theological reasons for my purported de-conversion (even if I don't embrace the Sanctuary doctrine, agree with substitutionary atonement theology, etc.). I felt like I could always get by as a renegade, I just possibly lack the discretion necessary to maintain my composure in such a stringent atmosphere! I think theologians and biblical scholars are uniquely subject to this sort of scrutiny, while Adventist historians (and a rising generation of philosophers) have always enjoyed ample freedoms, and have also been the ones to try and push the church forward on theological matters. So it makes sense to me that you can call yourself an Adventist, it's just a matter of convincing other Adventists of the same sometimes!

Read Karen Armstong's History of God and gain a perspective on how God is a conception (not a perceptiono) of man.

If you want community, try a Unitarian church. Great people and totally open and inclusive with no judgement.

If for some reason you are hung up on Sabbath being the true 7th day, read about the Jewish Calendar and how they kept a lunar Sabbath, not a solar one (even 300 years after the time Jesus is slotted into). So EGWhite's assertion that the Sabbath kept today is the same as creation is utter nonsense.

Give yourself a chance to learn how thoroughly you have been deceived. You will gain a freedom that the church will never provide.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Disappointment
that's unfortunate, your friend seems like he has a lot of raw intelligence but just happen to be brought up in a family I'm guessing? just a demonstration of how powerful initial imprints are of our belief systems.

http://www.amazon.com/When-Prophecy-Fails-Leon-Festinger/dp/1891396986/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373595712&sr=8-1&keywords=when+prophecy+fails

check out this book. SDA is really a religious manifestation of this social phenomena explained in the book.

Sign of the Last Days-When?

pdf of chapter 6

The preface is great!

I was raised in the Adventist church. Went for 22 years. Got fed up and quit. Finally found the path I was looking for 15 years later.

Stop going to church altogether. Just quit. You don't have to go. You already realize you're not "going to hell". Open your eyes and your mind and discover your soul and your spirituality. You don't need religion for that. It's a crutch and it keeps you from thinking for yourself. You sound like a prisoner to organized religion. But you can break out!

Research chakras and meditation. Read about near death experiences. Go to a spiritual (not religious) bookstore and get a book that you'd never normally pick up. Journey of Souls changed my life. Discover the energy flowing through you and everything.

You are a soul. The mere fact that you are, means that you have always been, and will never cease to be. Death is not the end.