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Hey man. This is more of a general resource dump, but I hope it helps!

The books The Transgender Child and The Transgender Teen by Stephanie Brill are the two halves of your new bible, seriously. Read them, then give them to your parents. There's also a new book out for Trans teens and their families, called Where's MY Book? by Linda Gromko, MD. I haven't read it yet, but it looks well worth a look.

Check out http://t-vox.org/ and http://camparanutiq.org/ . You'd love Camp Aranu'tiq.

Watch this great video too. It's about Trans kids and it's really good. (Ignore the line from one mom about how blockers are "brand new". They aren't. They've been used for decades. The books I mentioned above explain a lot more about all that.)

Your parents should run, not walk, to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/tyfa_talk/ and join it when they're ready. It's a wonderful parents-only group specifically for parents of Trans and gender-questioning kids who are 18 and under. There's a lot more to it than "you should support your kid". There's lots for them there, even if they think they're already supportive. On Facebook, they can join these great groups for parents of Trans and gender-expansive kids: here and here. And here on Reddit, they can check out /r/cisparenttranskid.

Trans Youth Family Allies, Gender Spectrum (and their fantastic conference), and the Trans Health conference, among other resources, will help your whole family a lot.

To find a therapist who gets Trans issues (most don't, and are unhelpful at best and actively harmful at worst), see http://t-vox.org/medical and http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ . For the second link, enter your location and then select Transgender from the Issues list on the left.

The nice folks at the Genecis clinic at Children's Medical Center Dallas, the Gender Development clinic at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago, the Gender Management Services (GeMS) clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, The Center for Trans Youth Health and Development at Los Angeles Children's Hospital, the gender clinic at Seattle Children's Hospital, BC Children's Hospital in Vancouver, and/or the Trans youth clinic at SickKids in Toronto can help your family connect with more providers and support networks in your area for Trans children and their families, including the ones that aren't near you. They do a lot of networking with groups and providers across North America and around the world.

My thoughts exactly; I have an Iron Gym, and it is by far the single best purchase of my life; you can do wide-arm pull ups, close-arm pull ups, chin ups, palm-facing pull ups, stick them in a doorway for sit ups/crunches, dips, modified pushups/planks... The possibilities are endless. And you can move it to wherever you want to go, which is another benefit that you don't get with a regular bar that you have to fix in place.

My personal opinion is that the human body was designed to get in shape on its own and also develop a level of muscle that correlates to its own bodyweight; equipment is nice and all (especially for those hard-to-work-out areas like lats), but bodyweight exercises are hands-down my favorite kind of workout. Other equipment is superfluous.

The same goes for supplements/powder; if you eat a good diet with enough protein in it (especially things like nuts and eggs; those are pretty much the food of all good muscle), the supplements become sort of just an added expense. Sure, they help you get built super quickly, but why bother? Why not just have a good diet? Just my opinion; I'm a big fan of all-natural.

Now if anyone has any tips to get rid of this damned beer gut... It seems I do cardio and ab workouts like none other and this fucker still refuses to let go of my abdomen.

Forget that expensive shit, get mepitac. Same stuff, a quarter of the price. Here's the one that I used: https://smile.amazon.com/Mepitac-298300-Soft-Silicone-Tape/dp/B002VE9AL8

The strips stay on for about a week. At that price I didn't bother trying to wash and reuse them, I just put new ones on when the old ones wouldn't stay anymore. I did find it helpful to cut several smaller strips for my chest scars because it doesn't adhere as well when you curve it, so I just overlapped the ends of 2 straight pieces. That'll depend on how curved your scars are though.

I can't say how well they work because I put them on both sides so have nothing to compare to. But you're supposed to wear them 24/7 for as long as you can. It's pretty easy to put them on and forget about them. I actually continued wearing mine because my scars were really red at first and it covered them up so they didn't stand out as much. They're silicone and stick to you without needing anything else. They don't hurt coming off, but you will want to peel them slowly. Shaving might make them adhere better, but I didn't really bother. Then again my chest hair isn't super dense. If it is, you probably would want to shave. And yes, you can put them on whenever you want before/after your revision, although you'll want to wait until the incisions heal before putting it on where you have the revisions. It won't look mismatched, you'll be fine. :)

Another benefit of the strips is not needing to worry about sun exposure on your scars if you go out shirtless. And for me it felt reassuring to have something over the scars, as well as kept them from rubbing on my shirt. I used them for about a year and a half (I had a revision too) before I got tired of messing with them.

Yeah, they took my stitches out at my second post op and I'm now using Mederma on my scars daily plus wearing silicone tape over my incisions. I got several recommendations on silicone tape and opted for this one and my surgeon approved: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B076FHBDDD/. They are having me cut it in half lengthwise because it's wider than my incisions (which will also make it last longer). It stays sticky and my surgeon told me I could keep reusing the same tape for about 1 week before changing it out.

So what I'm doing is massaging the Mederma into the scars, letting it dry, and then putting the silicone tape on top of it (post shower, you don't want to get the silicone tape wet, that'll make it lose its stickiness). Apparently, silicone is the trick to minimizing scars.

The hospital gave me an ace wrap but I went out and bought a compression vest (so much easier to take on and off). They aren't cheap but for me it was worth it. (This is the vest I got if you're interested: https://recovery.marena.com/products/mvs-compression-vest?variant=14424304844842 ).

Good luck and good healing!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00I54XGZE/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o05_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I have bought other binders, but I pretty much only wear these. They are incredibly comfortable and bind well. They don't get me completely flat (I'm about a C cup and a bit overweight,) but make my chest look acceptably masculine. Would definitely recommend.

Here are the books I gave to my mom:
My Child is Transgender: 10 Tips for Parents of Adult Trans Children
by Matt Kailey
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00867Y6OU

Now What?: A Handbook for Families with Transgender Children
by Rex Butt
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B010NZBEUQ

Transitions of the Heart: Stories of Love, Struggle and Acceptance by Mothers of Transgender and Gender Variant Children
by Rachel Pepper
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007TUY3PW

The first one is really quick and simple but is a good introduction. The second was my favorite, it was written by a parent and I think many parents can relate. It's really really great, don't let the author's name fool you. I didn't read all of the last one, but I figured it would be good to throw another one in there to tug on the heartstrings and sort of show my parents that if the parents in the book can adjust, so can they.

I have many! Here are a few:


Gender Failure by Rae Spoon and Ivan Coyote This is the book version of the authors' live show that toured in 2012. They both are nonbinary, and the stories they tell are about that.


Second Son by Ryan Sallans Ryan has been a role model of mine for a long time, so I was really excited to get his book. It's a pretty basic transition memoir, but he has a really great voice.


Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein This one is a classic, and one I wish I had read much sooner! It's a transition memoir, but she also has some awesome discussions about gender in general too. Also, check out The Next Generation which is a collection of the work of trans* writers and artists.

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg I think everyone should read this. It's a memoir/fiction sort of thing, and gender and transition are shown to be much more complex than in other transition memoirs. This one is quite old though, so maybe your library already has it?

Lastly, I will suggest Red: A Crayon's Story, which is basically the sweetest story about a blue crayon that was given a red wrapper by mistake.

Whoa, what kind of therapist is this? You shouldn't have to do anything (any gendered thing) you don't want to do. I mean, I think working out is definitely a good idea, but you shouldn't be forced into it if it's not something you want to do.

But if it is something you want to do, I highly recommend getting a pull-up bar that fits onto your door frame (like this one - they have them for like $18 at Walmart (assuming you're from the US and if you're not I'm sorry for assuming :S)) and just starting with chin-ups. If you can't do a full one yet, use a chair to help support some of your weight (with your feet/foot) so that you can get all the way up, then very slowly lower yourself back down without using the chair. You'll be able to do one unassisted in no time if you keep practicing.

If you just do that and some push ups and squats, you're pretty much set, unless you're trying to be a body builder or something. And the good thing is these are all things you can do alone in your room so you don't even have to worry about binding or sports bras or anything (unless you feel too disphoric not binding to some extent).

Have they read this book? It's the one I'd most strongly recommend for parents of trans kids, and a lot of it is very applicable in your situation. Assuming they're open to educating themselves, this is probably the best guide to what to do if you have a child who exhibits gender variance. It is extremely well written and hugely comprehensive and covers various life stages and is also very current research wise, while never getting too technical.

Just got this one a few days ago, so far its pretty good, I have somewhat of a larger chest and it flattens me out pretty well. Comfort is good too. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00I54XGZE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00__o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

How short are you wanting your hair? If you'd like it pretty short and you feel up to the challenge, it might be worth it to invest in a pair of clippers ($15 for these badboys) while your mom won't stop outing you and stylists won't listen.

If that's not something you feel confident/comfortable doing, maybe ask your mom to take you to a barber shop? IME barbers are waaay more likely to listen to your request than a stylist; I stopped going to stylists because I got tired of my hair looking like something out of the latest issue of Lesbian Weekly, haha. In any case, good luck! Just try to really drive home the fact that you want a masculine haircut. Not "femme masculine" (e.g. pixie cut), just masculine.

I use these. I'm only 4 months post op, so I can't speak for their long term, but they're cheap, and as someone who's got a fair amount of hypertrophic scarring going on, I can tell that they're definitely flattening them. They also feel mad soft every time I change them.

I also use Alex Haney's DIY scar cream in between. I like it a lot, and it's super easy to make!

I like the "five day stubble look" which is probably more like a "three day stubble" look for someone with better facial hair growing abilities than me.

I actually do use a hair clippers to keep my facial hair groomed. I have the Wahl Color Pro and use the shortest attachment for my face hairs, and sometimes also the second shortest depending on how scruffy I feel like looking. My boyfriend uses it to cut my head hair for me as well. It works really well!

I do eventually want to get something that is specifically for facial hair that will keep it the length I like, but for now this works and like you said, it kills two birds with one stone and does a great job of it!

$50, free shipping- Selling: New, never used, 1 deluxe hand pump and 1 medium size matters cylinder-- great for pumping and encouraging downstairs growth.

I paid $60 for both so it's $10 less than original + free shipping.

Pictures of product: http://imgur.com/RCinJV7
http://imgur.com/LwBHW5C
http://imgur.com/A8XJ3sq

I had a problem finding the tubing to connect the pump and the cylinder, so it's important to know that if you buy this you will need to get the tubing attachment for it.. it's a quick release acetal part that can be bought from a plumbing or auto supply website, or they also sell a tubing and connector set for $20 on amazon (http://www.amazon.com/Pumping-Buddy-T-Hose-Connector/dp/B001KQ73BC/ref=sr_1_1?m=AOSZMT5RQVVJA&s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1454367122&sr=1-1&keywords=JC385), so your final cost for a working set will be around $70.

I'm short on cash right now and couldn't finish the project so I've bailed on it. BUT! The pump is much nicer than the one that comes with the kit online and far less likely to break than this one: https://www.amazon.com/Size-Matters-Clitoris-Enhancement-Kit/dp/B002I9YMQ4/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1484501620&sr=1-1&keywords=size+matters+clit

Private message me for inquiries. We can exchange via paypal and I will send to your address through USPS.

At 13, you need parental consent to start T. I'm sorry. I was in your shoes eight years ago.

Look to see if there's a group for parents of trans kids in your area. Look hard, not just a google search. Ask any local LGBT groups you can find, or any other trans people you know. If there's none, see if you can get in contact with parents of trans children (adult children count too) who have watched their son go on T and can attest to how helpful it was. Get your parents in contact with these parents.

Offer them other resources too. This book is really helpful in changing parents' minds, I've heard. You also may want to send them articles ( this and this )on the studies published recently about the improved mental health of trans kids who were allowed to transition.

Also, if they are religiously inclined as you say, you could check out the documentary "Call Me Malcolm" for them, which is about a transgender man who is also a seminary student. Just beause your folks are Christian doesn't mean they are and always will be transphobic.

Additionally, if you don't already see a supportive therapist, start seeing one. Your parents may be more likely to listen to an adult professional who backs you up when you say you need to go on T.

Changing your parents' minds takes time, and you have to be patient and not give up. As hard as it is, tell them you love them, frequently.

The pStyle seems to be the most univerally beloved. Super cheap and very easy to use.

If I were in your position, I'd go ahead and start wearing silicone tape in hopes that it slows down the growth, and begin researching steroid injections, microdermabrasion, medical needling, laser scar removal, and my surgeon's options for surgical removal.

Silicone tape (like CicaTape, which is what I'm using) primarily acts to prevent/minimize the development of hypertrophic scars, and perhaps keloids to some extent. If you look up info about silicone tape's effectiveness, you'll find studies like this one, which could be worth a read. It suggests wearing silicone tape for at least 12 hours a day for up to six months, but other sources, like this one, suggest up to 24 hours a day for up to three months. I've been wearing it 24/7 except to shower; I'm prone to hypertrophic scarring, and so far my DI scars have stayed super flat. (That said, I started wearing tape as soon as my scabs came off at about three weeks post-op, so my experience with the tape isn't going to be identical to yours.)

If you do pick up CicaTape, you can cut the tape in half lengthwise to make the roll last longer. I've been using the tape for about six weeks, and haven't finished my first roll yet.

I just use amazon. I like [this] (http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B001BMDQSO/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) harness a lot. Amazon also has a variety of strap-on penises in a variety of levels of realism. Good luck!

Letters For My Brothers - Zander Keig

Testo Junkie - Paul Preciado

Becoming a Visible Man - Jamison Green

From the Inside Out - Morty Diamond

Self Made Men - Henry Rubin !! author is a cis man !!


Also! If you want to read more about trans stuff along with some other people from this sub, feel free to check out our monthly reading group :)

Here's a link to our February thread

Family restrooms will be your savior. With the problem of stp being expensive I use this one https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078SYHWWM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_h4FrDb9ZK2MGC
And I like it and it works well, not realistic though, but you could probably get away with it. Another thing to look for is ones that have cosmetic imperfections, those will be sold much cheaper for the same thing like this one
https://www.freetomprosthetics.com/collections/clearance-section/products/clearance-rogue-5-5-pack-and-play-only-pale-caucasian?variant=29420030591059
You can also find ones on Etsy like this.

I prefer the scar away long scar strips. I get them on Amazon for like $35 (12 in a pack). Cut them lengthwise and use one on each scar. You can reuse them usually like 4-5 times if you wash and dry them. They’re also good to keep your scars out of the sun for the first year post-op while still being shirtless.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001KY3IOU?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title

I have this -> CalExotics Packer Gear STP Packer - Realistic Prosthetic Stand To Pee Strap On Sex - Trans Transitioning FTM Adult Female To Male - Ivory https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078SYHWWM/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_YDDxDbV0H5AS8

It's great for standing to pee. I little uncomfortable for packing tho. It has generally good reviews

That is pretty cool for DIY. You might like the Doc Johnson Helping Head for$6 on Amazon. Same principle but it is reusable. I've been trying to figure out how to attach it into the back of a dildo too. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B008RBKNRO?vs=1

Here you go!!!

You’ll also want a harness so that it stays

This is the one I’m hopefully gonna get!

Ah yeah. Boy do I feel ya.

I learned a while ago to do my own haircuts due to fear of barbershops/cost effectiveness. If you can save up a bit there are some cheap good buzzers at Walmart/Target/Amazon. That way you can keep up with all the maintinence, personally here's my clipper.

I have no good advice, but the book Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation contains several essays from FtM drag queens. Maybe you'll find it useful?

Here’s a book that will help:
https://www.amazon.com/Red-Crayons-Story-Michael-Hall/dp/0062252070/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3GR0Z1SCBCOOM&keywords=red+a+crayon%27s+story&qid=1554616859&s=gateway&sprefix=Red+a+%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1

I bought the standard Wahl clipper kit (it's less than $20 on Amazon) several years ago and it works just like new.

I've seen a buttload of people recommend this one http://www.amazon.com/Size-Matters-Clitoris-Enhancement-Kit/dp/B002I9YMQ4

I like this one:


https://www.amazon.com/CicaTape-Soft-Silicone-Tape-1-57in/dp/B076FHBDDD

A lot of people seem to start with this pump, and it seems to work very well for them.

http://www.amazon.com/Size-Matters-Clitoris-Enhancement-Kit/dp/B002I9YMQ4

This is pretty much a binder but can pass for a bra.

https://www.amazon.com/Underworks-MagiCotton-Sports-Binding-Minimizer/dp/B00I54XGZE/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1BNWBIDTF684X&keywords=underworks+magicotton+sports+bra+and+binding+minimizer+bra&qid=1569009608&sprefix=underworks+bra+bin%2Caps%2C125&sr=8-4

Jamison Green's Becoming a Visible Man and Max Wolf Valerio's The Testosterone Files might be up your alley. Both transitioned later in life and both spent a fair amount of identifying as lesbians before transitioning. You might also find Matt Kailey's Just Add Hormones illuminating, he's a gay trans man who transitioned in his 40's. Also, not a book, but I always personally found that Romeos resonated with me more than anything else and somewhat outside of the typical trans narrative.

I gave my dad Matt Kailey's guide for parents of adult children. http://www.amazon.com/My-Child-Transgender-Parents-Children-ebook/dp/B00867Y6OU/ref=la_B001JS16J6_1_5?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1413304647&sr=1-5

They're from Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman. It's an essential anthology in my opinion!

https://www.amazon.com/CalExotics-Packer-Gear-STP-Transitioning/dp/B078SYHWWM this is the one I read about a guy putting his vibe in

Doc Johnson's Goodhead. Changed my LIFE.

I'm Pre-Op (as of now, Non-Op) but using this literally showed me so much about my sex life that I didn't realize I needed.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008RBKNRO/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_d8-ZAbNT2VCEH

I’ve been using cica tape cut in half horizontally. It works well for me after a few washings and would probably work longer if I wasn’t so particular about it.

CicaTape Soft Silicone Tape (1.57in x 59in) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076FHBDDD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_CV5XDb7CR5NVA

One of the photos in the reviews appears to be from someone who got double incision.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Size-Matters-Clitoris-Enhancement-Kit/dp/B002I9YMQ4&ved=2ahUKEwiTgviVte7dAhWI2lMKHamXCmsQFjACegQICBAB&usg=AOvVaw0O_n0CtRsHPiUCclPgHixA&cshid=1538712090430

Might want to double check that you're not too big. I'm not sure. Also I think there's a trans guy website that sells them but i think it cost more.

Edit: disregard the following comment, I'm a dumb and misremembered which toy I ended up getting. Wasn't the bro sleeve, was this Doc Johnson toy. So yeah, don't buy that Doc Johnson toy. Below is applicable to it, not the bro sleeve omg.


God the bro sleeve is an awful material, unless I'm recalling something else. Had a sweet chemical smell that not only never went away no matter how much washing or airing out, but got on hands and everything's even through a Ziploc baggie. Like I had to throw it out as it was unusable because of it.

Biggest disappointment ever, imo. Silicone or bust, not nasty jelly material.

I was thinking more along the lines of any packer if possible but the harness is a Latigo Leather Strap On. Ill put it in the thread edit as well for others to give more on an input

http://www.amazon.com/Sportsheets-SS696-05-Latigo-Leather-Harness/dp/B001BMDQSO

Here's my list so far. It's a mix of FTM-specific, general trans, and gender studies books, including essays, memoir, and more academic works. In no particular order:

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler


Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman


Nina Here Nor There by Nick Krieger

Female Masculinity by Judith Halberstam

Nobody Passes - Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore


Whipping Girl by Julia Serano


How Sex Changed: A History of Transexuality in the United States by Joanne Meyerowitz

Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green

Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer by Riki Wilchins

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality edited by Carol Queen

Genderqueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary edited by Joan Nestle

From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond edited by Morty Diamond

Second Son by Ryan Sallans

Why are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

and the must-read fiction:

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

I'll edit this if I can find any others, I'm probably missing a couple. Been a big non-fiction reading year for me!

EDIT: Edited to add links, and a few more on my wish list I haven't picked up yet.

Letters for my Brothers: Transitional Wisdom in Retrospect edited By Megan M. Rohrer, M.Div. & Zander Keig, M.SW.

That's Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men by Lori B. Girshick

Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey

The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male by Max Wolf Valerio

My old standby is the p style. Its just a hard plastic stp. It is a purely purpose built product so it excels at allowing the user to stand to pee and that is it, no packing, no passing at the urinal. I mainly rely on it for outdoor activities or travel and I've never had any issues. Its $13 so even if it doesn't work out you're not out much.

http://www.amazon.com/pStyle-Clear/dp/B002AA8GDQ

Hahaha. Yup, it's what happens. You are stretching out that skin. Nothing wrong with a little foreskin. I don't think I've ever seen foreskin completely cover the head of a trans guy's dick though. That pig-in-a-blanket description accurately fits how mine looks now that I've started pumping. Maybe the cylinder is too wide? This one www.amazon.com/Size-Matters-Clitoris-Enhancement-Kit/dp/B002I9YMQ4 comes with 3 different sized cylinders, and when I used the medium one my dick had a much more foreskin-y look to it afterwards than when I used the small. Length was the same though. So I dunno. Does the appearance bother you?