(Part 3) Top products from r/genderqueer

I always wear men's underwear and haven't experimented with anything else. In terms of widely available things that you can find in most stores, I personally like low-rise fashion briefs. (They're a little harder to find than the mid-rise ones, they're useful though because a lot of short shorts are lower-waisted and mid-rise briefs will show above the top of them, awkwardly.) Here's a link I'm kinda between two sizes and I pick the smaller size and they hold things in place just fine. My second-best choice is sports briefs, which are looser and more breathable, but generally still keep things in place. Like, this link shows some.

I've found that these always keep everything in place...the only risk is like, your underwear itself spilling out of the shorts if they're super short.

Also some tips for buying the shorts themselves:

• If the shorts are super short, make sure whatever you buy is very snug around the leg. This can be a challenge because AFAB people tend to have thicker thighs than AMAB people, but I've always been able to find stuff. Stretchy fabric is your friend. The shorter the leg/inseam, the more snug it needs to be.
  
• Don't buy anything with the inseam so short that it's shorter than your underwear. Look at the width of the narrowest part of your underwear, and then buy stuff with an inseam just long enough that it is longer than that.
  
• Try larger junior's sizes (odd numbers). Not all brands do this, some brands still use even numbers and have the "junior's" fit or shape, but in general when you have both in the same brand, the junior's sizes will usually be better at fitting AMAB bodies because they're made for people with less hips and narrower thighs.
  
• If you're concerned about having a big visible bulge in front and it looking awkward, look for shorts made of a sturdier, stiffer fabric, like denim. With stiffer fabric, finding the exact right fit can be more important.
  
• If you have problems with not enough room for junk, try finding something with a slightly looser fit, and then wearing a belt to keep it in place. Denim and khaki shorts can both look super cute with a belt, and you can do different styling...like casual canvas belts with a pattern, or a brown leather belt which is pretty universal and can be more casual or a little more dressy.
  
• If you're new to short shorts, maybe start gradual. Women's shorts have a full range of lengths...go for something mid-thigh if you're not used to wearing that, then gradually go a little shorter as you get more comfy.
  
• When you're trying on shorts, sit cross-legged and see what happens. This is the position most likely to make things spill out in awkward or uncomfortable ways, or most likely to let people see your underwear. If the shorts fit and are comfortable both when standing and sitting this way, and nothing is awkwardly visible when you're sitting cross-legged, you're good to go, you can pretty much prance around all you want all day long and they'll be fine.
  
  Just try on lots and lots of stuff...don't be shy. Seriously when I look for shorts I go to thrift stores and I might try on 4-7 pairs and sometimes I don't buy anything at all...other times I find a bunch of stuff I look cute in. The more you try on the more you'll get an idea of how it fits and how to find what you're looking for!
  
  And remember, women's sizing is ridiculous. I've bought shorts in sizes 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, and 10 that all fit nearly identically. When you find your size, look a little higher and lower too, especially if you're in a thrift store that has different brands on the same rack. Look at the size of the actual item, I find once I find one item that fits I hold it up to others to compare sizes because it's more reliable than that number.
  
  Good luck!

Well I clicked this post without thinking, and I thought, why did I click this, I know nothing about purses! But when I read your description it sounds just like what I have! I have one of these in khaki. I really love it. It's small enough that it's not a pain to carry around, and I normally keep just my wallet, keys, and a few other random things like headphones, or a hat and gloves, or a water bottle. It's not big enough to fit all that at once but I think it's the perfect size. It's really sturdy, but the material is very flexible and it's more like a tote bag than a box with a shoulder strap. It's perfect for me but now that it's winter I kind of wish I had it in black. The only problem with it is that the velcro is starting to peel off a little because of constant use, but I might just remove the velcro since it's not 100% necessary. Anyway, I love this bag and I would recommend it. (It's also cheap!)

As another similarly gendered person, (I ID as neutrois/neutral gender) I can get behind this statement.

It is really hard to dress "other gendered" because so much just gets shoved into binary boxes. My best guess would be mixing masculine and feminine stuff, or picking clothes that are considered feminine on dudes and masculine on women. Or just pioneer your own style with clothes you like!

I personally am a huge fan of sleeveless turtlenecks, and stretchy, clingy, form-fitting clothing combined with sturdy boots and black slim fit jeans. I use a utility thigh pack and a belt full of pockets to carry things. If the weather is cold, I like to layer with off the shoulder long sleeve shirts, exposing my shoulders but covering my neck with the turtleneck underneath.

I also really love jackets with long sleeves and thumb holes, and long or double breasted coats. Top off my outfit with a great hat! I like newspaper boy hats, train conductor hats, and fiddler caps. Also accessorize with a chain on my glasses.

I have silicone prosthetic breasts that I for on amazon for like 30 bucks and they're pretty awesome! http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005S4CS4Y/ref=mp_s_a_8?pi=75x49&qid=1345606473&sr=8-8

Hopefully that works I'm using my phone for this. O.o they're pretty awesome, comes like a front latch bra, feel pretty good. I put tissue or cloth behind them because you get a little sweaty but I love them.

omg I'm exactly the same way - DDDs here. I've heard that regular binders for ftms don't work as well for large breasts, and I'm on a tiny grad student budget so I recently bought a back brace from walmart and this thing http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005VRLT6Q/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
and I've found that they work really, really well as binders. My mtf gf was amazed at how masculine I could get my torso ... now if I could only get my face/ hair to match sigh.

I agree, button ups are our best bet, but I need help finding good ones as well. Help anyone?

Using a sharp blade and shaving with the grain is what is going to make all the difference.

I have a double edge safety razor that I bought from amazon. The blades for it are SUPER cheap and way more sharp than cartridge razors. There is a higher initial higher cost with using a DE razor because you have to buy some more expensive hardware, but it's cheaper in the long run.

Use good soap
http://www.amazon.com/Proraso-Shave-Soap-Sensitive-150ml/dp/B001JHEY14/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1382915459&sr=8-1&keywords=proraso+white
You will need to get a brush to make lather with that soap, but it's pretty good for sensitive skin. The aerosol stuff doesn't come close.

also check out /r/wicked_edge/ for everything there is to know about shaving.

I wear trunks they have like 2 inch inseam? just short enough to fit under most short shorts. Briefs are also an option.

I have these. They are nylon and CK brand so a bit pricey but sometimes they go for $12-15 on amazon, I have found them for $8 at Marshalls. They are incredibly soft and feel amazing. Even wearing skintight leggings nothing shows up. but that might be a case by case basis since my junk is not that big in the first place. Well I feel like those undies pouch area prevents any bits from being outlined.
Trunks
https://www.amazon.com/Calvin-Klein-Underwear-Trunks-Medium/dp/B000TGWFLC
Briefs
https://www.amazon.com/Calvin-Klein-Strength-Micro-Medium/dp/B015O3XNAQ/

Have you read aspergirls by Rudy Simone? There is a section she talks about how FAAB aspergers are much more likely to have a masculine way of thinking and assign themselves as trans. It is apparently something with the way our brains work. Furthermore, there is an entire section on asexuality in that book as well. Reading your passage, I knew before you said you had aspergers that you have it!

I fellow aspergers person! Youre not alone in the way you feel! My best friend is exactly like you (also an aspie). I can identify with a lot of your post as well, both she and I identify as GQ.

amazon link to aspergirls

That depends how much skin you want to show, and what style you're going for.

For tops, there are lots of options. The sports bra type look, which shows your belly but not much chest. There's a cropped rash guard which covers even more chest but still shows the belly. Then you've got the bikini that shows the most of everything, or the tankini, which covers the belly but is low cut at the top like a bikini. There's an even longer version of tankinis now called a swim dress that I think is cute. I love this long sleeved, belly-showing rash guard too.

Now, if you don't want to show a lot of skin there's a short sleeved rash guard, or long sleeved rash guard that all cover the belly and chest completely. They have all kinds of colors of these things.

For the bottoms, there are always plain old board shorts for everyone. There are shorter ones too. There are tons of colors and lengths for those.

You could wear a bikini bottom by itself or under your board shorts. There are a zillion colors and styles of those. There are swim boxer briefs that you can wear alone or under shorts too. If you want the bikini look but are concerned about the shape of your genitals, there are plenty of bottoms in the men's clothing section that look fantastic and would be easy to match to a bikini or tankini top.

Sorry for the late reply, I only now stumbled upon your question.

Here are some more books that I haven't seen mentioned. All of them are non-fiction, all of the authors have published more on the topic.

• "Testo Junkie" by Beatriz Preciado A first-hand account of Preciado's experimentation with testosterone, what she refers to as "gender hacking".
  
• "In A Queer Time and Place" by Judith/Jack Halberstam Just one example of probably one of the foremost academics concerning trans* issues.
  
• "Whipping Girl" by Julia Serano Serano's description of her understanding of her own trans-identity. Beautifully meshed into the current theoretical discourse.
  
• "Transgender Warriors" by Leslie Feinberg Several accounts of people apparently violating established gender norms and the attempt to fit them into a narrative of gender rebellion.
  
  Hope some of that sparks your interest.

I read this last week. In short, you could try using Veet Sensitive. As with any product, test a tiny area before proceeding. Good luck!

If you can afford it I'd recommend a norelco electric razor. They're really good quality and don't leave stubble. You will still be able to see your hair under your skin if it's dark, the only way to fix that is by wearing makeup.

example

If you're into history I'd suggest grabbing a copy of "Self: A Study in Ethics and Endocrinology" by Michael Dillon written in 1946 by a physician who also happened to be one of the first (known) British FTM people to under go corrective surgery. Dillon also later assisted Roberta Cowell with her corrective surgery. The book itself is quite easy to read, though there are a few sections that may be difficult unless you know your biology. Fascinating frontier work.

This teacher has expressed enough trans/genderqueer erasure to delete several text books. This will absolutely be worth it.

EDIT: Cancelled the order from OED. Found a better offer on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Compact-Oxford-English-Dictionary-Set/dp/019861117X/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1426716484&sr=1-2&keywords=compact+oxford+english+dictionary

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0053XF874?psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_search_detailpage

• Nobody Passes: Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity