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Well, I think that I've always known, even if I didn't know the name for it. The biggest change to my attitude about it came when I read the book The Introvert Advantage: How To Thrive In An Extrovert World which I recommend to all introverts. I think that I read it shortly after it came out, so I must have been in my low-30s at that point.

What it explained, and what I finally took to heart is:

1. The brain chemistry of introverts and extroverts are different. Introverts process everything through their logic and verbal circuits. Hence, we "think" about everything, and, thus, it takes more energy for us to be in any places that have a lot going on, like a party. Extroverts have a very tight "processing loop" so they get energy from being around people.
   
   
2. In spite of it being just a different kind of brain chemistry, Introversion has a negative connotation in language, and society. Being introverted is not thought of as a good thing. I dumped that unwarranted stigma from my own head at that point, and accepted it for what it really is. Introvert does NOT mean the following: Shy, anti-social, misanthropic, or even that you dislike parties.
   
   
3. Introverts recharge differently than extroverts. Extroverts do it when they get stimulation. Introverts get it doing quiet things. Rather than trying to be like an extrovert, where you are not getting what you need, recuperate the way you need to, the one that fits you. Every once in a while, I take a weekend day where I do nothing. Play video games. Read. Browse the internet. I don't always take off my pajamas on those days. I give myself space. I even SCHEDULE days where I have nothing going on when I can. If friends want to do something I say I have something else going on. And I take breaks when I feel like I want some quiet time, even during the day.
   
   
4. To deal with parties and social events, I often put a known time limit on my time with people (Like: I've got to go at 10) so I can match my energy to the event. And when I've had enough, I head out. And here's the key point: You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you're going, if they ask. That's not their business. If they press, I just say: "I have to go." If I think that it'll be easier giving them something that they are satisfied with, I might say: "I have to finish something that's due tomorrow."
   
   If there's really interest in other things I've learned, I'd be happy to start a thread. I just can't right now.

I know this is a rant post, but I am going to give you my unsolicited advice, as someone who has been in a somewhat similar situation.

Okay, so I get that your parents are bugging you. I totally understand you on that. It sucks when they don't understand you, and don't respect your boundaries. That said, you need to put your boundaries in place, and then actually enforce them with your parents. I could be wrong, but it sounds like you are spending 5 hours with your parents every Friday simply to placate them, and not because you genuinely want to spend those 5 hours with them. If that's the case, this is a huge burden on you. I would cut back to 2x per month (if that) and only stay 3 hours max. If they talk about inane things that you've been clear that you don't want to talk about, enforce those boundaries. Tell them you would like to spend time with them, but you aren't interested in talking about your grandma. Every time they bring her up, remind them that you aren't interested. If they keep disrespecting your boundaries, tell them you will leave if they don't stop, and then follow through if necessary.

The other thing I would do, is to tell your parents your boundaries about calling/texting you. Tell them that if they call/text you constantly, you will not respond. Turn your phone off or put it on silent, and don't check the messages until Monday or whenever. There is probably some super smart way you can fix this on your phone as well, to not get notified if your family in particular calls or texts you. That way you could still use your phone without even knowing they are sending you things, unless you specifically check messages from them.

Just to be clear, I don't think you are selfish at all. I do think that you are allowing your family to take advantage of you, which is you not being fair to yourself. You can't change your family's behavior, but you can change your behavior.

One last thing. I may be way way off base--if I am feel free to just ignore me, I mean no offense--you should check out some books on emotional neglect. I really liked Running On Empty.

Yeah pretty certain it's this one: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Quiet-power-introverts-world-talking/dp/0670916757/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348261987&sr=8-1

I did a search on Amazon for books about Introverts. These two seem to be the popular ones (although neither one is as popular as Quiet):

https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Advantage-People-Thrive-Extrovert/dp/0761123695

https://www.amazon.com/Introvert-Power-Inner-Hidden-Strength/dp/1402280882

Both of these are written by people with degrees (presumably in psychology), and they both reference "energy" in their summaries. Introvert Advantage even predates Quiet by a decade. It was published in 2002, so it might have been on the forefront of shifting the popular definition from "asocial" to "loses energy". I suspect that while they probably reference "energy", it's probably still more nuanced than today's popular definition gives it credit for. I think these books are also worth putting on my reading list. (Or at least, Introvert Advantage is. It shows up in almost every "customers also bought" section for every other book about Introverts.)

I also found this on Wikipedia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energy_(psychological) (Although admittedly, it's Wikipedia, so it's a secondary source at best.) But it suggests that psychology has a separate concept of "energy" that's not physical energy. I can sort of see this. I'm in a much better mood when I get a lot of alone time, and I'm in a really bad mood when I have to be in a social situation for extended periods of time. But honestly, whether I'm in a bad mood because I don't enjoy socialization, or whether I don't enjoy socialization because it puts me in a bad mood isn't really an interesting distinction.