(Part 2) Top products from r/mentalhealth

I was a lot like you at school. Still am. I am 45.

Do crowds overwhelm you? Do you read everyone moods when you walk in to a crowd?

Does it stress you that you sense so much?

If yes.

You could be highly sensitive person:

https://www.amazon.com/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Thrive-Overwhelms/dp/0553062182

"Do you have a keen imagination and vivid dreams? Is time alone each day as essential to you as food and water? Are you "too shy" or "too sensitive" according to others? Do noise and confusion quickly overwhelm you? If your answers are yes, you may be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).

Most of us feel overstimulated every once in a while, but for the Highly Sensitive Person, it's a way of life. In this groundbreaking book, Dr. Elaine Aron, a psychotherapist, workshop leader and highly sensitive person herself, shows you how to identify this trait in yourself and make the most of it in everyday situations. Drawing on her many years of research and hundreds of interviews, she shows how you can better understand yourself and your trait to create a fuller, richer life. "

I was one. Still am. A woman found me through internet and we were married for 16 years. But it ended due to my disease (epilepsy).

You are 16. Son you have a life ahead of you.

School. DO NOT GIVE UP ON IT! Find a way to fit in. Find your place. I think I started to like high school when I was 17. I was awkward before then.

Your feeling about you never finding anyone.

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone feels that at one point or another in their life. Some less. Some more.

Killing yourself. You are precious. People may not tell that to you. But yes. You are precious. You have to learn to love yourself. So you can love others. If you do not love yourself. You will have hard time loving others.

You will end up in a co dependent relationship where your happiness depends on the other. Ideally in a relationship there would be some breathing space. Some room. I think my wife left me because I was hanging on her too much once I got sick.

Some people find that very stifling. People need their freedom. You may not feel that way. But yes they do.

Stop telling yourself that you are going to kill yourself. That creates more anxiety. Which leads to you thinking about her even more (because when you feel bad the brain tries to cope by thinking about what made you feel better).

So you will be stuck in a loop. If you stop thinking about killing yourself. You will probably not think about her as much.

Be open to happiness.

YOU ARE 16!

You have a working body right? No broken back like I have. Feet that do not ache?

May I tell you about our lord and savior exercise.

If you are not already doing it..

Start running. Lifting weights. Bicycling. Whatever? You will feel so good once you get into shape. Also I imagine it is going to help with the girls.

Exercise high is not a made up thing. It is real.

Also on a real bad moment. Eating does help. Momentarily. But if you are feeling very bad. It is instant serotonin boost.

Now of course exercise would be better..

Just my 2 cents.

God I wish I was 16.. :D

>I know I sound super desperate for help, sorry about that.

All good. Doesn't read like that to me, more someone encountering a difficult unprecedented situation in their experience and not knowing how to help or proceed :)

>is there any way for me to obtain a therapist's knowledge so I can even remotely help her?

Well you can probably gain some insight by reading and learning about how trauma influences and manifests psychologically and behaviourally, bringing that to the dynamic with your girlfriend, but short of training in psychotherapy, which is years long, it's not a straight forward process of gaining knowledge in this case. Read what you can (or watch vids if that is a preference. Though books on this subject will probably contain more information and details), really listen and be present to your girlfriend. If possible, cultivate patience and tolerance for the the more exasperating aspects of your gfs behaviour. Compassion helps; keep in mind there is pain somewhere even if your gf isn't consciously aware of it. Maybe take notes, make observations, build an operative framework to embed understanding in, specific tactics or methods etc. I dont know; those are suggestions, not prescriptive.

>study material

A couple of books come to mind: The Body Keeps the Score:Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma, and another, more symbolic and depth psychological oriented in its approach
Trauma and the Soul: A psycho-spiritual approach to human development and its interruption. These may be helpful. There's a lot of research and books out there in this territory though, so well worth looking around online and seeing what you can find.

>standard operating procedure

Safety is paramount for those who live with trauma, safety in the environment and with others they're relating to, but more importantly, safety in relation to ones own feelings and embodied states.

Trauma takes up occupancy in ones body in an unconscious (emphasis on unconscious) energetic, emotive sense. It can seem like ones own feelings, thoughts, dreams and sensations are the enemy and attacking ones sense of self out of and through the very ground of that sense of self, acting out by themselves with little conscious control. A weird reversal of normalised associations with ones own experience can be present, as can various psychological defenses, such as dissociation and repression. Profound shame may be existent somewhere, exerting influence, alongside self-loathing and self-doubt. These qualities, as belief, as operative paradigms of psychological orientation, bind and entrap. Trauma and its psychology is complex, entangled.

It's perhaps significant to keep in mind that trauma of the kind your gf has experienced is a rupture in terms of a developing self; somewhere, somehow a break and splitting has taken place. Those split off parts of self still exist somewhere, and all of the original pain associated with them. The aim is integrating these extant parts towards a different kind of wholeness and integrity.

The process I've experienced through a therapeutic alliance has involved re-experiencing these 'splinter psyches' and the attendant affect qualities in a safe and trust based context. I've had to relearn how to be present to my own body and emotions in ways I wasn't familiar with. It was a very painful and confrontational process, long and slow, encountering and metabolising bits and pieces in small chunks, using dream, memory (or lack of), daily relational contexts as leverage, through questioning, into contact with feeling, image, re-embodiment. Learning how to just exist and be with myself in my body, learning acceptance. So lots of grounding and attention to breathing, posture, tension being held, etc.

Not sure if that's really all that helpful, and I'm not a professional.

Imo, trauma doesn't heal by itself and it never goes away until its worked with consciously.

Good luck! It's strenuous and problematic, what you're in.

If one was regularly ignored, abandoned, discounted, disclaimed, and rejected -- as well as invalidated, confused, betrayed, insulted, criticized, judged, blamed, embarrassed, humiliated, victimized, demonized, persecuted, picked on, dumped on, bullied, scapegoated, and/or otherwise abused -- by others upon whom they depended for survival in early life, they may have been in-struct-ed, programmed, conditioned, socialized and/or normalized to beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be.

But even though OCD has a major cognitive component, unlike OCPD, OCD is psychotic and requires a medicinal as well as behavioral treatment scheme.

Here's a road map:

1. Medications, but only if really needed to get one stabilized enough to do the next six things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the clinician locator on the Psychology Today website. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs.
   
   
2. Support Groups: AA, MA and/or NA if one is using intoxicants to try to cope with emotional pain; OCDA, ACA, EA and CoDA... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions.
   
   
3. Books and academic, professional websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Strongly recommended: Grayson's Freedom from OCD, and -- because they all understand the upshots of having been stressed for too long, including complex PTSD into extreme coping behaviors: Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Patricia Ogden, Ronald Kurtz, Laurence Heller, Bruce McEwen, Sonya Lupien and Robert Sapolsky. This article will get you oriented. Accurate information is power.
   
   
4. Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's SP4T as the interoceptive 9th of the 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing to manage any "time bombs" that turn up, but had good results over the years with several of the
   
   . . . a) CBTs including REBT, collegiate critical thinking, schema therapy, and CPT; as well as the
   
   . . . b) "super-CBTs" like MBCT, DBT (the long-time gold standard for BPD symptom management), ACT, MBBT, and MBSR; and the
   
   . . . c) "deep cleaners" like EMDR, HBCP, SEPt, SP4T and NARM.
   
   The CBTs deconstruct one's inaccurate beliefs, values, ideals, principles, convictions, rules, codes, regulations and requirements about how we or they (or the world) should / must / ought / have to be. DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for emotional symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc.
   
   To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look here, and here, and here, and (for DBT specialists in particular) here. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Then interview them as though they were applying for a job with your company. Most MD / psychiatrists, btw, are not therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often -- though not always -- excellent sources of referral.
   
   
5. Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana-style? (For a lot of people with anxiety, this stuff handles anxiety chop chop. Not sure about depression. Many of the modern psychotherapies for anxiety are actually based on it now.)
   
   
6. Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks like these, and these, and these, and these. But specifically for OCD, I would suggest this and this, because the Tx methods used -- and mechanisms of delivery here -- are research-proven.
   
   
7. Moderate Exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... and it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy.
   

ok

Firstly, if you are not seeing a trauma specialized therapist I highly suggest you consider seeing one. Just from your description it sounds like your issues are above the pay-grade of your current clinicians, or they are not putting in the proper amount of effort. The fact that you have so many complicating issues and your clinicians are not understanding why you having these shutdowns is a big red flag that something is amiss with them. I presume that you are being open and honest with them about all of your current issues, and that they know about your history of abuse/trauma.

You should also definitely do some reading about borderline personality disorder.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but absolutely, positively stay away from any drugs, even legal ones like alcohol. You are a perfect candidate for death by addiction, unfortunately.

Here are a few books that you might find useful:

https://www.amazon.com/Feel-Fear-Do-Anyway/dp/0345487427

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131

https://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Workbook-Mind-Body-Regaining/dp/1623158249

https://www.amazon.com/Unspoken-Voice-Releases-Restores-Goodness/dp/1556439431

https://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Guide-Polyvagal-Theory-Transformative/dp/0393707873

I strongly suggest you try to get some serious headway on your issues BEFORE you try going to college. It might be worth taking a year or two off and just working and going to therapy/working on issues before you attempt to go to college full time.


Do you happen to live in a very religious area? Do you have a very religious family?

Hey Torallyrandom33, I’ve had a quick search and this seems to be a good starting point:

https://www.amazon.com/Living-Bipolar-Disorder-Individuals-FamiliesUpdated/dp/0199782024

It is aimed at bipolar disorder and again I’m not a psychologist but what you’re describing is near identical to what I experience so you should get benefit from it.
It does talk about GP’s and drug treatments but it also seems to talk about how to recognise the onset of episodes, how to avoid them or, failing that, how to manage them. If I come across anything else I think might help I’ll post it here. I hope it helps.

I have depersonalization and derealization more often than not. Its intensity is unnerving when my anxiety is high, but otherwise I just cope. When I look in the mirror I don't feel like the person is me. When I walk into target and see my figure on the security cam I feel like it's not me.

Edit: I have this book which I like to peruse occasionally to inform myself.

Try getting better acquainted with all those feelings. Like, if you're in a situation where you know logically that you can turn something in and get an excellent score, but it's not totally perfect, try gently flirting with the idea of just turning it in. Then you will feel that part of you which objects roar to life. Just watch the spectacle inside you.

Think of it as preliminary research. You're just gathering data about yourself at this point, making experiments. But by doing this, you might find points of leverage, additional avenues through which you can explore your perfectionistic impulses.

Also, have you ever read any Karen Horney? I was wondering if you might have since you used the term "neurotic perfectionist." If not, give Neurosis and Human Growth a read. You'll absolutely see a lot of yourself in it.

Please follow the advice of people down below, and please get yourself up-to-speed on the responsibilities that come with your position with a book such as the one provided down below...

http://www.amazon.com/Youth-Workers-Helping-Teenagers-Crisis/dp/0310263131

Read The Relaxation Response. It was written back in the 1970s long before mindfulness became trendy. Its all you need to know.

The study is accurate. People have known this since ancient times. It's called having a genius, or daemon. Often used for automatic writing. In ancestor venerating cultures, speaking to your ancestors is an important part of religious life, and is so for thousands of Christians in the U.S.


I'll post a couple more links... this was also a finding by the research of T. M. Luhrmann a celebrated Stanford University professor.

her book, When God Talks Back

Her research into schizophrenia within cultures that practice ancestor veneration

here is a link to the Teeming Brain blog .

here is a link to my blog

I study English supernatural horror fiction, gnosticism, Victorian spiritualism, the occult, and east-asian mediumship. I had a psychotic episode in 2004, from experimenting with Shinto by myself, and my research has been an effort to understand precisely what I did and was there any similar practice today in modern Japan? I also looked into Korean Shamanism, charismatic Christianity, and Vietnamese shamanism.
I wasn't surprised by what I found out at all.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Here's a link to a book that might help, it's helped me understand my borderline but it's written for the perspective of people close to someone with bpd.
overcoming borderline

Search For The Real Self: Unmasking The Personality Disorders Of Our Age - James F. Masterson M.D.

edit: here's the accompanying video of the author being interviewed about his book

Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation - Daniel Shaw

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713

SECTION | CONTENT
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Title | Why Are We Morbidly Curious?
Description | My twitter: http://www.twitter.com/tweetsauce My Instagram: http://instagram.com/electricpants THE SMOKE GETS IN YOUR EYES book: http://www.amazon.com/Smoke-Gets-Your-Eyes-Crematory/dp/0393240231 Everyone Loves A Good Train Wreck book: http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Loves-Good-Train-Wreck/dp/0374533709/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412758187&sr=1-3&keywords=eric+g+wilson Google Glass + Vsauce PARODY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymebYkl2lA0 V1 and V2 and V3 eat gross jelly beans: https:...
Length | 0:13:51






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As /u/RAGE_CAKES suggests a sex therapist would be the ideal choice to deal with this kind of problem.

This also reminds me of a book called The Body Remembers which is about how trauma can effect the body even after the event is over, which you might want to look into.

This might help you?

This is not a normal answer to this question, but I think this book is extremely revealing about the pain, confusion, and uncertainty of being a loved-one to a person with Schizophrenia. It's called January First and it's written by the parent of a girl who was born with psychotic symptoms consistent with schizophrenia. It's a rare situation and certainly extreme, but the experiences the family goes through are simultaneously very personal and applicable to others.

There's also a documentary for those who are curious.

https://www.amazon.com/Choice-Theory-Psychology-Personal-Freedom/dp/0060930144

I wont tell you what depression is or is not, I would encourage you to make up your own mind. This book has helped me do just that.

I agree with another commenter here--if you don't have a therapist, get one. CSA and other traumas are very hard to recover from without help. There's a self-help book you might find helpful, The Courage to Heal, which is made by people who have experienced of CSA for people who have experienced CSA. I haven't gone through a lot of it (it isn't something that you can fly through), but what I've read is really validating. Triggering, but validating.

Look for another job, if you can. If you think that the problem is your depression, not the job itself, then wait to commit to leaving, maybe, until after you start sorting stuff out. Depression makes it hard to find jobs in general appealing.

I'm sorry that you've gone through so much.

> And I don't think I'm being particularly rude but I just don't get why all the people disagreeing with me keep BOLDING EVERYTHING. I think that's pretty rude.

Because in a forum like /r/mentalhealth people tend to gloss over things and get a really bad impression. People are lazy and the stigma of mental illness is so high that they don't like to get into particulars but want the gist of something. Our bolding is to ensure that THESE folks get the right info. Reddit is a public community, there are legitimate mental health professionals answering, folks with some diagnoses, relatives of individuals with MI, laypersons, psychology fans, trolls, etc. Those of us who are passionate about our work/the field take it seriously enough that we need people to get the right/accurate info.

> Anyway, my view is that her guardians letting her run amok on the streets, letting her have access to the media, and generally all the destructive behaviour she is exhibiting (lighting animals on fire?) seem to suggest she is not getting the best possible care.

I don't necessarily agree with your view. It works both ways though. For example, I often have clients who are actively ruining their lives by showing up to work/school drunk/high, who have anger management problems and blow up at their friends and family for no reason, etc. Each MI and even those without have "symptoms" that can ruin their lives. It's unfortunate but it's their reality and that's what we work on in session. That being said, it's not my job, their family's job or their friend's job or whoever's job to prevent them from ruining their lives in this way. Ultimately, they have the right to freedom, which includes the right to be self-destructive to a point.

Laws have been put in place to draw a line. That line is homicide, suicide, child abuse and elder abuse. Everything else is pretty much fair game. Some here would argue that 3 strike laws for drugs is an effort to add that to the mix and prevent people from ruining their lives from drugs/alcohol but it's not worded as such, so I'll leave it out of this discussion.

If you're very interested in this subject, I highly recommend The Insanity Offense and Mad in America for some really insightful history, opinion, etc on the subject.

> If she is getting the best possible care and is not responding to it, then clearly more serious steps should be taken rather than letting her run about.

She has the right to run about though.

> I believe legally you aren't allowed to "deny treatment" when you have progressed to this stage.

Not true. You can deny treatment. But short of suicidal or homicidal ideation, you can't get a 5150 hold for "being crazy", "acting crazy", or "denying treatment". It all comes back to freedom.

> So just because the time limit on the hold runs up, that means she should be allowed to be free and cause harm to herself and others?

I am not sure if you're using the lay or professional definitions here but just to clarify, in most cases she can self-mutilate/harm but if she doesn't present as high suicidal risk (thoughts, intent, plan, means, etc) then that isn't "harming oneself" from a professional point of view. As far as homicidal ideation, in most cases, you need to know exactly who they are intending to hurt and it cannot be a by-product situation - it's a planned, methodical intention to injure or murder someone else.

I'm not sure if that changes your thoughts but I am happy to elaborate further if you want more clarification.