(Part 2) Top products from r/offmychest

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We found 22 product mentions on r/offmychest. We ranked the 327 resulting products by number of redditors who mentioned them. Here are the products ranked 21-40. You can also go back to the previous section.

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Top comments that mention products on r/offmychest:

u/crapadoodledoo · 3 pointsr/offmychest

You have overlooked the only person who can help you; it's you. You are intelligent and perceptive and most assuredly sentient. You are a piece of the universe that can see itself. Through you, the universe can become self aware. This incredible experience is your birthright. Self-loathing is a very narrow-minded stance to take for a being in such a position. You are able to escape from your box and claim all that is yours, and it is spectacular beyond reckoning. Nothing can stop you except yourself.

Your state of mind is not something you should entrust to other people because you have no power over them and how they behave. You do, however, have power over your own mind, so clearly, this is the place to start.

I suggest you save yourself by allowing your mind to travel in a direction that is so fantastic and overwhelming that your attention will automatically change its focus from your family and all of their demoralizing troubles to something much greater and interesting: the search for the Big Picture.

By the Big Picture, I mean having some understanding of the true nature of the self and of reality. What exactly is this thing you call "I" that is not an object? What is going on in this space/time? What is being experienced and what is experiencing and how does it take place? What is real and what is illusory? How does all this fit together?

There are many ways to study reality. The academic or intellectual path is useful up to a certain point, but is inadequate in this case, because it necessarily objectifies and conceptualizes experience and experience is, by definition, completely subjective. Thus, the Big Picture must be sought from within. The goal is to see things clearly, just as they are, prior to conceptualization.

There are ways to train the mind for this journey. One of the best road maps I've come across for exploring the Big Picture is Zen Buddhism. The practice is very simple. You are not asked to believe in anything that deviates from your own experience. You are discouraged from relying on dogma or on the words and teachings of others because they won't help much. Zen is the see-for-yourself guide to insight. Meditation is the most important part of Zen. I'll give you the briefest peek into how it works.

You sit in a position that allows you to be relaxed yet alert and to be still without muscular exertion. Most sit cross-legged but it's of no consequence. Sit with your back straight and your muscles all relaxed and, instead of thinking, simply watch your breath. Watch your body breathing as if it were the most important thing in the world. Without going into further detail, as you watch your breath you discover that something you are able to observe cannot contain you. You, the observer, is not the body. After a while, you learn to observe the thinking mind instead of your breathing. You will find that you are able to observe your thinking mind without becoming involved in its context. Eventually, you will see that the thinking mind also doesn't contain the observer.

You go onwards from there; searching to discover where the observer is located and what is its nature. This path takes years but there are mind-blowing insights and experiences all along the way.

This, I think, is the most important pursuit a sentient being can undertake and the most fantastic. I won't go into further detail because I've already produced an embarrassing wall of text. Suffice it to say that Zen is a way to train the mind in such a way that it ceases to torment itself. This kind of practice is not only helpful for dealing with life's problems, but is also the source of a great deal of wonder and deep insight into how things are. Best of luck saving yourself from yourself. [Book suggestions: The Dhammapada, Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: An Unusually Hardcore Dharma Book. I haven't read the 2nd book but I like its table of contents and, from a quick glance, it seems legit.]

u/MrRushing · 1 pointr/offmychest

I’m there as we speak. The stint between things happening can be so disheartening; leaving you with ample opportunities for doubting and succumbing to a sedentary lifestyle. But it’s just a transitional period. It is during those gaps that a lot of us give up. We put aside our dreams because they don’t happen when we’d prefer. I think that is part of the test. Are you willing to persevere? Are you willing to take it day to day? You have to be. Life doesn’t move as fast as our minds, so we have to adapt. We have to let ourselves fall into a pace. Each day take a step, no matter how small. Fill these voids with training and self proposed assignments. Delve further into your aspirations with each free moment.

I wanted to be in entertainment. I wanted to break into any part of the film/video industry right now. I fell victim to the expected instant gratification lifestyle that plagues western civilization. So I received a certification in broadcasting and got an internship. I worked it like a 9 to 5 paying job. After the better part of a year I was running out of money, homeless, and practically starving. I am proud to say that I was their number one go-to guy. I was the first person they called for anything. The president of the company even took the time to validate my efforts with a simple “you’re important to us here” once. I knew I was in. I asked to be put on the pay roll. “Just part time pay”, I said. No dice. I needed a college level education, not just a trade school obtained piece of paper. So I went to college. I got through one semester and fell dead broke. I left with good grades and got a job, got depressed, started drinking everyday. 4 years and 2 DUIs later, I hit bottom. I lost the dream. I ruined it. Now all I had to do was find a new job and reevaluate my piss poor existence. After 2 years, I was done with court. Writing had become my only outlet for that creative yearning that refused to leave my mind. I was pining away for my dreams to come back.

So I bit the bullet and went back to a community college to finish my associates. I’m still working on it today. But I’m almost done. I’ve had some things published in literary magazines and continue to work on some half-baked screen plays, you know, to keep up with that film maker dream I had. I’m even lucky enough to have people in California ready and waiting for me to finish school to come start an entry level position. Thinking back on it I don’t know how I made it through those times of uncertainty. I don’t know what I did, but I did it, even after giving up.

I suppose my point is this; it takes time. Your life is nothing more than opportunity amidst distraction. Those chances come and go in irregular intervals but when they arrive you have to be ready to snuff the anxiety, bite the bullet, and jump. They don’t come as often as you’d like, but they will. You’ve put yourself in the way of the train. Now you have to wait for it. When it comes barreling towards you, be sure to grab on. Just don’t be surprised when it stops at the next station leaving you wondering why things aren’t progressing. They will, so long as you don’t let go, slowly but surely.

This turned out to be a lot longer than I anticipated; sorry for that. Since you have the time I’ll recommend a book that touches on this a little more eloquently then I can. It’s called The Alchemist. It’s a short read, but holds a lot of good metaphors for intentional diligence over a lifetime. Good luck.

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/offmychest

Hey, I am not autistic, as far as I know, but I also lack some serious social skills sometimes. As a younger child I would take things very literal and made people sometimes very uncomfortable with the way I behaved, when I had no bad intention whatsoever. For me it helped when I found more people like me. A little bit nerdy and a little bit weird, but because we all were like that it didn't matter.

For body language, there is a book written by a former FBI agent which helped me a great deal to understand other people. https://www.amazon.de/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294 Maybe it helps.

For friends maybe try to find a club, which suits your interests. It is easier to talk to people about things you both are passionate about and on the way, you might find a group of people you like.

As another option, there might be a club for autistic people.

​

I know, offmychest isn't actually for advice, but maybe it helps :)

u/fysicist · 2 pointsr/offmychest

Many couples get married because they love each other but being in love is not enough. You have to be compatible as well - that means being able to solve problems, having similar life goals, etc. If you can go through a book like this then maybe you can stay together, not necessarily that he's marriage material:
http://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033

EVERYONE should go through a book like this before getting married. It would put many divorce lawyers out of business.

u/Jess_than_three · 2 pointsr/offmychest

Well, it sounds like what's "wrong with you" is that you probably have major depressive disorder, or maybe dysthymia, or a similar depressive disorder. You might want to consider seeing a psychiatrist or even just a doctor and asking if they'll prescribe you some antidepressants - which can be an enormous boon for some people. (My girlfriend, for example, tells me that the difference between when she's on her antidepressants and when she's not is like night and day for her.) I haven't managed to do that myself (no insurance, you see), but my therapist recommended this to me, and so far it seems really awesome and has been helping a lot:

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Depression-Step-/dp/1572244739/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341375652&sr=8-1&keywords=depression+workbook

It's really concrete, specific, step-by-step stuff, focusing on techniques to fight and ultimately defeat depression, and it talks a lot about how to deal with some of the depressive thoughts you mention in your post ("I'm terribly unattractive and everyone thinks so", "I hate myself", "I'll never amount to anything", "I'm afraid to fail", that kind of thing). I really like it a lot, personally, and would recommend it to others. Maybe it's worth a shot for you?

She also recommended this book to me, but that one didn't really click as well for me. But that isn't to say it might not for you!

Seeing a therapist (whether a psychologist, psychiatrist, social worker, whatever) can also be highly beneficial, and might be worth trying. They're generally really good at being non-judgmental and supportive - "universal positive regard" is the phrase that describes the attitude a therapist is supposed to maintain for their clients. And possibly they could help you to fight through some of the distorted thinking you've discussed, provide some perspective, help you to see that things are not as bleak as depression makes them seem.

Either way, good luck to you. I hope you manage to find some relief from your depression.

u/rxninja · 1 pointr/offmychest

I'm going to contradict Zazzafrazzy on this one. You're 18; who's to tell you what your future looks like but the person you see in the mirror every day?

Rather than beating yourself up over quitting jobs, it's probably more important to figure out why you quit. To answer that, you really need to do some introspecting and figure out what it is you want out of life. Don't get caught up in what you might want years from now; focus on actionable things you want in the next 3, 6, and 12 months. You could even start shorter than that as a practice exercise and go for what you want in two weeks, in a month, and in two months, then see how you handle that.

It's important to figure out what you want, even if it's short term and temporary, because what you want will help you figure out what you need to get there. Once you know that, you know what to keep and what to prune from your life.

Life is all about responsible self-indulgence. Find out what you want to indulge in and figure out how to get there, then eliminate all obstacles preventing you from doing so. Don't focus on a job solely for the sake of being focused and dedicated, because that's bullshit and it won't make anyone happy. If you realize that you want to, say, go skydiving, then you know that you need money and therefore a stream of income.

Only when you know what you want to get out of it does putting effort into anything make any sense.

Want more tangible guidance? I suggest reading Four-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferriss. Maybe it'll change your life.

u/kessake · 2 pointsr/offmychest

I used to suffer from death anxiety quite a bit, coupled with a mind that likes to go all existential and philosophical when I can't sleep.

I totally agree with what some others have said about trying counseling. It doesn't hurt to try.

What helped me the most, and it may sound weird at first, is to kind embrace death. I started out by getting into youtube videos from Caitlin Doughty Ask A Mortician on YT. Curiosity and love of her sense of humor led me to her book, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes. Another author I recommend is Mary Roach.

I started to see death as less of this ominous, negative presence waiting like the stoic reaper with his scythe, and more of just a part of the cycle of life. Its not as much something to be feared, as it is natural and more like a transition from this version of life to whatever may be next. What I find kind of funny about it is that now I'm more morbidly curious than afraid, and that can get some... interesting reactions during family discussions. Some of the things I have read and learned have even helped me cope through the recent loss of my mother.

Ultimately, you have to do what feels right for you. Whether that's counseling, reading, learning, or even just sitting down with family and talking. Best of luck to you, and my inbox is always open if you need an ear.

u/otoren · 1 pointr/offmychest

Don't give up on your dream. You've learned how to work hard; that's an amazing skill a lot of people don't have.

I recommend the Cartoon Guide to Algebra. It may provide the connections you need for the math to start making sense. (There's a Calculus one, too, when you get that far - he's done lots of subjects and they're all well written and easy to understand)

u/Jwmcd2 · 1 pointr/offmychest

http://www.amazon.com/Victims-No-Longer-Classic-Recovering/dp/006053026X this is probably the best

http://www.amazon.com/Joining-Forces-Empowering-Survivors-Thrive/dp/1401941346/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1451773459&sr=1-1&keywords=joining+forces+empowering+male+survivors+to+thrive

This is another pretty good book

And you could try googling "rape resorce center" or "crisis center" and hopefully find some resources that way as well.

www.1in6.org also has some info that may help

u/Retro-Squid · 6 pointsr/offmychest

Frozen play along recorder set!!!

Edit: Found it

u/YoungRaddish · 43 pointsr/offmychest

For the girl, consider this, it’s a learn how to play Flute with songs from Frozen.


Frozen - Recorder Fun!: Pack with Songbook and Instrument https://www.amazon.com/dp/1495013057/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_fzo-BbF6N2GX0


u/ferrarisnowday · 3 pointsr/offmychest

I'm so sorry. I've heard this book get recommended often for these situations. It is religious, so it may not be for everyone.

u/wainu · 1 pointr/offmychest

I recommend you this book. It covers a number of 'erroneous zones' one might have. You can just read the chapters you think that apply to you.

One of the chapters specifically covers the need of validation. It explains why your mind needs validation and it gives you strategies to disable the need for it.

u/TheMobHasSpoken · 1 pointr/offmychest

Right now, I'm reading a really good book about domestic violence and abuse: [No Visible Bruises] (https://smile.amazon.com/No-Visible-Bruises-Domestic-Violence-ebook/dp/B07MXPQJ9G/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=no+visible+bruises&qid=1568128156&s=gateway&sr=8-1) by Rachel Louise Snyder. It sounds like a heavy read, and in some ways it is, but it's also a really deep, interesting look at the mechanisms of domestic abuse, and I wonder if it might help you to read it. You're absolutely not alone in this situation.

u/Bearfost43 · 1 pointr/offmychest

> I can feel myself begin to get depressed but I can't do anything about it.

you can do something, but you are to scared to take action

I recommend you read this book

u/Cato_Keto_Cigars · 2 pointsr/offmychest

Travel. Hike multi-month trails. Buy a boat, sail the oceans. Plenty of places to go/things to see.

I always liked the idea of a long solo hike. No day to day bullshit - just focusing on getting from point A to B... allows you to re-examine life from a quasi-removed position.

u/sezzme · 11 pointsr/offmychest

This has "alcoholic mind-game" written all over it.

Get a copy of the book "Games Alcoholics Play".


>I recap the situation for him in the morning and he gets fucking pissed at ME like I fucking did something wrong and then when I tell him his hostility is groundless he says it's not groundless if he wants to be hostile

And for this, get a copy of "Emotional Blackmail" AND this book as well.

>In all honesty my BF is a great guy he just does stupid shit and thinks that he is somehow immune to his own policies just because he is himself. If I did to him what he did to me last night and this morning, we'd be broken up already, no question.

This is exactly the kind of statement often spoken by women who later end up in serious domestic violence situations.

Do your homework, get informed, study the recommended books before taking any further action with your boyfriend.