(Part 2) Top products from r/ptsd

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. My husband did the same thing to me six months ago. It was very unexpected and I felt like my whole world was turned upside down (which I would have thought was impossible since it already had been completely altered by the PTSD). He had been my rock throughout it all, and now he is gone.

It sucks so bad to be in the place you are right now. I wish I could hug you through the internet. I am not going to lie to you and say that the pain will go away soon. It is still a raw wound for me. Even so, I still have found happy moments with other friends and family. I have laughed and appreciated beauty and challenged myself to grow in new directions. Despite all the pain, life is still an adventure.

I have learned that I am stronger than I ever realized. I always gave him so much credit for "getting me through." While I am very appreciative for the support he did give me for the past two years of my PTSD crisis, he isn't the one who actually made me survive. I got me through by working hard, committing to health, therapy, and healing from this trauma. I am willing to bet that if you look hard at your progress you can say the same thing. No one can make us get better, so if we are surviving, if we are still here, then it is our strength that allowed us to do so.

Two books that have helped me are listed below. One is for the PTSD, the other is for healing from a divorce. I hope they may provide you with some tools for this difficult time.

Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Best wishes for better days ahead.

1. [8 Keys to safe trauma recovery] (http://www.amazon.ca/Keys-To-Safe-Trauma-Recovery/dp/0393706052)
   
   
2. [Rebuilding when your relationship ends] (http://impactpublishers.com/product/43/Rebuilding.html)

Depends on what kind of recovery you're talking but I've also read:

• The Drama of Being a Child (and other stuff by Alice Miller but if you wanna read just the one, this is it)
  
• Codependent No More which was super helpful to me
  
• The Courage to Heal (controversial but I found it just fine)
  
• [The Sexual Healing Journey] (https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/0062130730/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1) (there's exercises!)
  
• Come as You Are (not focused on trauma but does talk about it, the author also has a blog where you can read some of her stuff and see if you want the book)
  
  I've also heard good things about Pete Walker's book(s?) but iirc they were too expensive for me. He also has a blog though (as ugly as it is)! I also found Objects Relations theory interesting but it's not very accessible.
  
  These are a bit miscellaneous but I hope you can find something helpful among them.
  
  EDIT: expensive not expansive!

Try the ice cube trick if the anxiety ever hits and you have a drink handy. I just hold an ice cube in my left hand until it melts. Can still shake hands and everything but the ice cube seems to force my heart to slow down a bit. My best guess is that it triggers the Mammalian Diving Reflex and turns off whatever is derailing.

That trick came from a Viet Nam Vet, has been a huge help as time has gone on.

As for things sticking around, now that I'm well into my 40's the flashbacks and nightmares seem to have slowed to almost nothing - though they can still get triggered by trauma anniversary and other surprises. I have one trauma around a car accident so anytime the brakes squeal behind me I get to have a fun day.

Totally agree that basic Meditation is necessary to get through, can't see it ever being accepted in the public school system here in the US though - hell some places refuse to teach Evolution.

I also think that Philosophy has helped me cope some - Epictetus and Marcus Aurelius have been incredibly helpful reading to sort of adjust the way I see the world these days. I highly recommend the two following books:

http://www.amazon.com/Enchiridion-Dover-Thrift-Editions-Epictetus/dp/0486433595
http://www.amazon.com/Meditations-Thrift-Editions-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/048629823X

Ah. I seriously hadn't even noticed you were the same guy. Some very impressive deductive skills right there, ha ha! But I'm very happy that we got off so much better in this thread actually.

And yeah, I'm a bit sorry it went sour like that as well. It's not like I was behaving terribly enlightened in that threat. It's good of you to be forgiving like that. Thanks:)

And no, for most people the symptoms of PTSD never entirely go away. In fact one of the things my therapist used to stress was exactly the point that the symptoms - in all likelihood - would stay, and that the main purpose of the therapy was helping me find good ways to deal with this fact.

And yes, meditating specifically before a social event is something I do as well. Sometimes it seems to do little difference, but at other times it has been extremely helpful.

Like recently, for instance, - when a friend visited and out of the blue told me about his brothers sudden death, which I didn't know about yet. It was heavy stuff, of course, and he cried and freaked out a bit. But having meditated before his arrival, although I was just expecting us to have a beer and listen to new records, - it made a ton of difference. This way, being more calm and centered, I could actually help and comfort him, - instead of just panicking myself.

For this, and many other reasons, I actually think that basic meditation skills (non-religious) should be be part of public schooling. Some scientific work seems to point to the fact that if children are taught basic self-awareness/mindfulness techniques, - if they later in life are subjected to traumatic events, the likelihood of them developing PTSD is A LOT smaller.

If interested in this sort of stuff (scientists trying to figure out how to make meditation part of Western school curriculae), this book served me as a good place to start - although it is a few years old already:

http://www.amazon.com/Destructive-Emotions-Scientific-Dialogue-Dalai/dp/0553381059/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1370433763&sr=8-2&keywords=negative+emotions

Speaking personally, dissociative anger and anxiety is a problem many of us have to deal with as a part of our disorder (C-PTSD for me) and for me it helps to be constantly aware of my own state of mind so I don't lash out at my SO (or worse, my kids) just because I'm having an episode or on the verge of one. Specifically, the technique that's helped me somewhat is "present minded non-judgemental awareness" which is useful to help get me out of my own head, which during an attack is thinking/feeling like I'm back in the place I was traumatized, and realize that I'm not there in that horrible place, I'm here in a safe environment and the things/people around me are not trying to hurt me.

You can find the specific technique in chapter 7 of the workbook "Unified Protocol for Transdiagnostic Treatment of Emotional Disorders" by David H. Barlow, et al. Since your SO is a vet, he should be able to get a copy, I would think, from the VA if he asks for it or if his therapist is willing to try it, but here's the Amazon link just in case.

It can't all be just you, he needs to work on things on his end, and you can help, which you already are just by being there for him. Patience is a must, obviously, you have to know that the anger is usually a reaction to the anxiety he feels because of his state of mind, it has nothing to do with you personally (it's dissociative, after all) so just keep remembering that and let him know that you know. Ask questions about how he's feeling, and that whatever he's feeling is OK and just listen, let him tell you and encourage him to tell you (provide some feedback if he needs it, but really just listen and be very careful not to judge or give the appearance of judgement). It'll help anchor him in the present, safe place that he's in rather than the dangerous scary place his traumatized mind thinks/feels he's in. That's what I tell my wife, anyway, and it's helped her to better help me.

Lastly, another sufferer posted on here a few weeks ago a "cheat sheet" he/she uses with their SO on things to do when an attack comes on. It's definitely helpful. Here's the link. Good luck to you I hope it helps you both in the healing.

Hey there, sorry to hear about your accident and subsequent return of symptoms.

This book is geared toward clinicians, but it was the first one that came to mind. It may have some helpful information for your situation: http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Bears-Burden-Dissociation/dp/0415641527 (check your local library for a copy, that is where I came across this originally)

I hope that this helps, and I wish you strength and support in your recovery!

> Peter Breggin has built a career on antipsychiatry. Yes, he's a psychiatrist; he's also a hired gun in legal cases as an expert witness blaming psychiatric medications and ECT. That doesn't mean he can't be right or can't have a point, but he has a definite objective and a lucrative six decade career on the line as a contrarian.

If that's the line of argument that is going to be pursued, ok, what was said is true. But you can also find psychiatrists with a lucrative career who at the time were pretty much in favor of the current treatments. If you go to the book "mad in america" on amazon.com,

https://www.amazon.com/Mad-America-Medicine-Enduring-Mistreatment/dp/0465020143/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523327241&sr=1-1&keywords=mad+in+america

Then go to "look inside" , go to pg 265, starting with the heading "eye on the castle", you can see the example of a psychiatrist who made a lot of money working for the pharmaceutical industry and doing research that had some ethical problems and that helped the industry. The preview of this part of the book only shows up to pg. 268, but that at least shows some of the information in case someone is interested.

Yes, this is incredibly common in my trauma research.

I do this all the time. My brain is my worst enemy when I'm in a dark place.

"I hate myself."
"I am useless"
"I am stupid"
"Why am I alive!"

So, that is to say, I do understand. I completely get it.

I'd recommend a book, but if I am honest it takes a long time and a lot of work to make it better in my experience. I wish I knew of a thing that would help quickly and easily, but I don't.

http://www.amazon.com/Self-Compassion-Proven-Power-Being-Yourself/dp/0061733520/

That is the book. Self-compassion practice is always one of the top features of resilience that trauma researchers recommend for healing. Which is to say, this is a recommendation with some scientific backing, and the book does have lots of practical exercises. It's just slow, plodding work.

Lots of good input from obviously experienced people here. The five stages of recovery (from PTSD or any other "mental illness") are vital to understand in situations like this. If she is at the first of those stages, it may help considerably to look into the concept of "motivational enhancement" and to learn how it can be used by you to move her toward the second stage. For that, I strongly recommend this book, a classic from the '90s on the stages as they were seen at that time, as well as the process of moving people through them. I would also look this article over to get some more tools for tolerance in your own "toolbox." If and when she gets to stage two, I'll cautiously suggest attending ACA/DF meetings (because some of them are really out to lunch, while others are excellent) but strongly suggest getting their Big Red Book and reading it.

So basically, right after you feel ok. You might have cried a bit, you might have ranted a bit. Whatever. You recover. Over the next couple days, the reprocessing part kicks in. Depending on who you are, and how severe the trauma, your mood may range from normal to slightly grumpy to heavy-duty PMS. She should be prepared to be emotional in the days following. If she will be going every week, you will see a pattern most likely. From normal immediately after, to moody, to back to normal if not improved before the next session and so on. It is not going to be easy, but it will be relatively quick. The longer it's been since the trauma, the more sessions and work it will take to treat. Persevere. Some days, she's going to be very resistant to going, some days she may be fine. Don't give up, don't quit until you're done. Go for as long as you need to, and the better off you'll be. http://www.amazon.com/EMDR-Breakthrough-Movement-Therapy-Overcoming/dp/0465043011 This book is what clued my mom into the treatment, and it explains how it works, and I think how to deal with triggers in the moment.

Yes there is actually a book on car crash ptsd it may help you with it
https://www.amazon.com/Crash-Course-Self-Healing-Accident-Recovery/dp/1556433727

try listening to the book Retrain your anxious brain

I was having some serious relationship issues that were followed by a complete emotional breakdown when i found this book. I have managed to make progress back due to it. Id say its worth the listen because it helped me stop and slow down. I realized that I can only control myself and it has helped tremendously

The ones that have helped me the most:

Invisible Heroes: Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal by Belleruth Naparstek

http://www.amazon.com/Invisible-Heroes-Survivors-Trauma-They/dp/0553383744

The Trauma Tool Kit: Healing PTSD from the Inside Out by Susan Pease Banitt

http://www.amazon.com/Trauma-Tool-Kit-Healing-Inside/dp/0835608964/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408389271&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=susan+pease+bannit

Before the World Intruded: Conquering the Past and Creating the Future, A Memoir by Michele Rosenthal

http://www.amazon.com/Before-World-Intruded-Conquering-Creating/dp/0615624383/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1408389393&sr=1-1&keywords=michele+rosenthal

I'm looking forward to reading some Bessel van der Kolk and Peter Levine soon too.

Absolutely, theres a whole body of research on this

There’s a book I recommend that helps with dealing with trauma. It’s called Healing Trauma from the Inside Out, Practices from the East and West.

Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror https://www.amazon.com/dp/0465061710/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_qHTzCbKRG56M8

This book helped me immensely. Having a therapist who understands the principles in this book and is “trauma informed” is imperative too.

LucydDreaming - Regarding your fibromyalgia - maybe take a look at Dr. John Sarno and his work with TMS. His idea is basically that many ailments such as back pain are manifestations of anger. Do you feel angry? If not, you might be expressing your anger physically rather than feeling it emotionally. He talks a lot about back pain - but his work also applies to other conditions such as fibromyalgia. Also take a look at Steve Ozanich's book: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Pain-Deception-Faulty-Medical/dp/0615462219 That one is really good and very detailed. He even talks about his own trauma and how that manifested into a zillion different physical problems - and how he eventually healed himself with Dr.Sarno's principles.

From my research I have found that a lot of people who have PTSD are also diagnosed with fibromyalgia sometime AFTER their trauma. I'm not a doctor - so I don't know if it would help you or not. But I figure a $10 ebook - worth a shot?

For me - I had so many bizarre symptoms after my trauma - new allergies, chronic pain, at one point I was so exhausted and weak I was bedridden for 7 months! Now I think it was simply a physical manifestation of my extreme emotional pain.

Everyone, thank you for your nice comments. I never would have thought I would be able to look at my PTSD this way - ever.