(Part 2) Top products from r/shittyadvice

Your most important job as a parent is to instill morals & values in your child. All the morals and values that a child needs to be successful in life can be found in this book.

Read this book.

I smoked for 15 years and quit 3 years ago. My father-in-law smoked for 30 years and went from smoking 3 packs on Monday to ZERO cigarettes on Tuesday. This was 5 years ago, he is still a non-smoker.

I know 6 people who have read the entire book and all 6 are non smokers. I have never met anyone who has finished the book and still smokes. It is literally a 100% success rate.

When you are ready, this is how you will quit.

EDIT: So I just realized this is for r/shittyadvice. I thought it was a serious question. Oh well, I'll just leave it here, maybe it will help someone anyways.

in snoop's autobiography he says

1. he was called snoop basically from birth. so i think we can safely assume he was born a dogg
   
   
2. he smoked weed for the first time when he was 12 years old
   
   
3. he smoked about an ounce a day once he hit his stride
   
   Snoop turned 40 in October and turned into a lion in what? like June? to compensate for the fact that he def didn't start at an ounce a day, I'm gonna say he started smoking an ounce a day when he was 16. So that's 24 years and 8 months at an ounce a day. So that's about 563 pounds.
   
   So I'm gonna say, assuming that the effect is cumulative, you should force your dog to smoke about 570 pounds of weed, just to be safe, to turn him into a lion.

Oooh the restraining order. That's the type of stuff she's into, I get it. ;) Go to her home and slit your wrist, and use the blood to create pentagrams and various satan symbols and versus from The Satanic Bible all over the walls and floor of the house. Then grab a virgin lamb and stick it exactly 24 times and take its blood and lather it all over your body. When she arrives grab a nearby wine bottle and beat it over her head until conscious. Drag her body to the blood pentagram you previously drew with your blood and gently write a "666" on the base of her forehead. Fuck her body furiously and ejaculate inside of her, and make sure every last drop of your semen is inside her. Once complete, strap her down to the floor with chains connected to the ground and through her wrists and arms. When she awakens, tell her everything you have done to show her your affection. Then cover her in gasoline and light a match. Place the lit match carefully between her breasts and gently stick your penis in her vagina while rubbing the gasoline on her body. When the gasoline lights, continue to duck her gently, and burn together.

You know, that say you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar but that's simply not true. You catch way more flies with shit or rancid meat.

Did you ever happen to read the worlds most awful rock and roll novel entitled 'Fuel Injected Dreams'? I bring it up only because the bad guy, a Phil Spector type (and yes, this was years before the recent unpleasantness) had his childhood sweetheart preserved taxidermically with a groin pouch which he stuffed with fresh raw liver and had his way with to recreate the magic of their love. Fucking awesome book.

Buy a book on how to get rich the easy way. Totally works.

They actually have books to look up this kind of stuff. This is the best one:

What's the Number for 911?: America's Wackiest 911 Calls

Purchase this book the book below and hollow out the pages and put your booze in their. Guaranteed she has/will never read it.


Getting Through to the Man You Love: The No-Nonsense, No-Nagging Guide for Women by Michele Weiner-Davis http://www.amazon.com/dp/158238035X/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_rc16tb0MV7K6Q

In situations like this, I refer to the "other" bible.

The authority on this subject is none other than a Mr. Humbert. You can read his memoir here: http://www.amazon.com/Lolita-Vladimir-Nabokov/dp/0679723161

Run for president.

https://www.amazon.com/Theres-Bitcoin-My-Butt-Handsome-ebook/dp/B073NF2Z9G

You're welcome.

Relevant!

http://www.amazon.com/English-American-Way-Language-Culture/dp/0738606766/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1382481200&sr=8-3&keywords=learn+english

This will give you an edge around here.

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100 Words Every Middle Schooler Should Know https://smile.amazon.com/dp/0547333226/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_PGjIDbTAXSBBC

Something to read. Who knows how long it's going to take them to dig you out?

I suggest this.

this should help