(Part 2) Top products from r/stopdrinking

I'm struggling with the idea of AA myself for the very same reason, but every therapist or life coach I talked to gently recommended AA regardless. I finally went to a meeting and it clicked WHY that type of system works. The sense of community is important, along with simply knowing that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Even without the spiritual aspect of it, the things the women said really resonated with me (I chose a women-only meeting to start with, at the recommendation of my therapist).

I'm still at the beginning of my journey and working every day at it. I need to reset my number again, but am gradually building up an arsenal of tools to help me stick with it for longer - I'm beginning to believe that AA will be the lynchpin if I can approach the twelve-step program from an atheist's point of view.

In that effort, I visited AAAgnostica.org and read a bit about them, and then also picked up the following books and have been working my way through them:

• The Alternative Twelve Steps: A Secular Guide to Recovery
  
• The Little Book: A Collection of Alternative Twelve Steps
  
• Beyond Belief: Agnostic Musings for 12 Step Life (a daily reader)
  
  I am not affiliated with the authors. I just desperately needed some material of my own that aligned with all the twelve step information I was learning, but that let me approach it without all the "god stuff".
  
  At the very least, try the first book. See if the steps as written without the inclusion of religion and god start to make sense to you. Note that the concept of "spirituality" is still present but not in the sense of following a religion or believing in a god. In my case, the thing that clicked the most for me was a creative visualization tool I learned while doing a meditation (completely unrelated to AA). Meditation is a somewhat "spiritual" practice, but for me, the power comes from within and makes itself known through my deeper understanding of myself. This is just one of many tools I am leveraging to help me stay sober on the days when it is particularly hard.
  
  There's a reason the program works, so it made sense for me to try my damnedest to make it work for ME. Maybe it won't work for you, but consider just reading the steps and then decide.
  
  Step Two is going to be harder for me because I'm a bit of a hermit and social interaction with new groups can be so damn hard, but the meeting I went to didn't dwell on god much at all - the only real mention was when we said the Lord's Prayer at the end, but I hear that not all meetings do that. Simply going to the meeting helped me understand why Step Two is important. Traditionally, that step sounds like you need to give up responsibility for your life to a higher power. Just for example, one of the alternative steps states something slightly different.
  
  
• Traditional Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  
• Just one of many alternative interpretations of Step Two (from "The Little Book" I linked above): I came to believe that realistic and rational thinking could restore me from the insanity of addictive drinking
  
  It isn't "God" or any spiritual power to ME that makes that step important. It's simply looking outside yourself for help. Going to the meeting made that click. The very act of taking that step - seeking out a community of others for support - the power beyond myself is the wisdom of communities like that, or communities like THIS one, too. For many, the community is where the power lies if we can acknowledge that. For others that may not be the case, but the point is to find something that provides you with that power, regardless of what you believe or don't believe.
  
  Is it private, personal meditation, or getting together with people who share your struggles and simply leaning on them for support? Is it a combination?
  
  Now my challenge is to quit making excuses and start going to regular meetings. There are at least a half dozen going on in my town on any given day. This is the path I feel I need to take.
  
  I hope you are able to find yours and that you find the strength to keep at it. Good luck to you!

My grand epiphany occurred reading Rational Recovery: The New Cure for Substance Addiction.

Until that book, I never really knew why I seemingly couldn't control or stop my alcohol consumption.

The basics are alcohol is not what you crave. It is the vehicle used to deliver the high you seek. It could very well be any substance, any drug that is used, but what is important is the high.

Take you and me, we've trained our brain to need this junk. Our brains were never suited to be in such a hyper-pleasurable state. For us, there's something that I guess gets turned on to where we start seeking the high out more and more and more and we then find ourselves addicted to whatever it may be.

That part of our brains wants that pleasure, needs it, and will stop at nothing to feel it. It doesn't care if it kills the body it's in. As long as the hyper-pleasurable state can be gotten everything is roses.

The book calls this THE BEAST.

So, it is you - the person that knows alcohol is poison and wants to stop - vs. THE BEAST.

The separation is important. You are not that desire. It is separate from you and you can control it. You are in control. This is something we forgot when we let alcohol take over our lives.

So, ok, say you tell yourself you are quitting. Fine, that part of your brain says. It can wait. It knows no concept of time. All it knows is that someday you will drink again and it will lay in wait for however long it takes.

During this time away though, it comes after you with thoughts and feelings and cravings. It whispers to you just how worthless and weak you are and you should just stop this foolish sobriety thing and go back to being the loser you know you are.

Yep, it doesn't fight fair.

See:

>and EVERY CELL in my body says "go to the bar (or liquor store) and CELEBRATE, you DESERVE (reward) it!!! Let's have some FUN!!

This is THE BEAST in all its glory.

You want to make it scared? Feel it's fear? Tell yourself that you will never drink again, ever. Pay attention to the feelings that brings to you. You feel that fight or flight response kicking in? Breathing kicks up, maybe you feel a knot in your throat. Something in you is screaming NOOOOOO! DON'T DO THAT!

You have brought THE BEAST out and shined a light on it. It really hates being known. It would rather hide behind your eyes whispering just the right things to get you to succumb again and drink. Pull it out in the sunlight it cowers.

So what can you do? This is the hard part. You have to tell it no. You have to stand up to it and tell it that you will not succumb no matter how hard it comes after you. This starts one day at a time. Or even one hour at a time. It means getting into some kind of treatment that works for you and working it openly and honestly. You have to do this for you. Doing it for anything else just won't work. This is all about you getting clean and sober, others need not apply.

Next on the agenda is to restructure your thinking about alcohol in general. Alcohol was my buddy and was always there for me when I needed to celebrate, relax, when I was angry, sad, whatever it was I could always work alcohol in. It always had a place at my table.

You have to change that 180 degrees. You need to start thinking about alcohol for what it is, poison. You can dress it up as fancy as you like, but when all is said and done it's a substance you shouldn't allow in your body at all. There are no positive effects, there are no benefits to this junk.

You have to hate it and I mean detest it so much that the thought of it or you drinking it turns your stomach. It's not your friend and never was. It is a life waster. It is a life taker. What have you gotten from your drinking? What good has come from it? When I answer that, I only have one word.

Nothing.

So none of this is easy, but you can do it. I did it and am doing it and I am nothing special. I am just like you and the rest of the people of the world, just trying to make it through and do the best I can with what I have. It's rough and tough. There's no doubt about that. The only thing alcohol does is make what's already rough and tough rougher and tougher. It doesn't solve anything. It's a lie.

There's got to be something else you do that brings you joy and happiness. Instead of ruining your holiday with alcohol, try doing that whatever it is. Or maybe you can think of something that you don't have time for now because of drinking that you enjoyed before. Whatever hobby that is pick it up and do it again. For me, I rediscovered my love of chess and playing the guitar. Maybe you can fix a favorite food or dessert. Anything is better than picking up another container of alcohol.

Promise yourself, just for the remainder of this day you will not drink. Tomorrow when you wake up promise yourself that today, that 24-hours, you will not drink.

Give yourself the best gift you can this holiday. Choose to be sober.

Merry Happy Christmas Holidays!

I hope it helped! :-)

I know this doesn't exactly pertain to your original post intent, but since it's 2 days later I figured why not post it....

You strike me as a person who would probably enjoy and get a lot out of Brene Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

It's not really a "how to" book per se, more of a "These are important things I've noticed we need in order to lead a fulfilling life. Now you figure out how to incorporate them into your life." type of book.

10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living by Brene Brown:

1. Cultivate Authenticity – Let go of what people think about you
   
   
2. Cultivate Self-Compassion – Let go of perfectionism
   
   
3. Cultivate a Resilient Spirit – Let go of numbing and powerlessness
   
   
4. Cultivate Gratitude and Joy – Let go of scarcity
   
   
5. Cultivate Intuition and Trusting Faith – Let go of the need for certainty
   
   
6. Cultivate Creativity – Let go of comparison
   
   
7. Cultivate Play and Rest – Let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as self-worth
   
   
8. Cultivate Calm and Stillness – Let go of anxiety as a lifestyle
   
   
9. Cultivate Meaningful Work – Let go of self-doubt and “supposed to”
   
   
10. Cultivate Laughter, Song, and Dance – Let go of being cool and “always in control”

Couple tips if you're having insomnia. Listen up cuz this is the real deal, this WILL help get you through these first few days (take it from someone who just got through it and is feeling great now).

1. Start taking magnesium. Like, as soon as humanly possible. Get this brand here, there are a million types of magnesium, and the most common ones won't do jack for you. I've done tons of brand research and this is the good stuff.
   
   Take two pills as soon as you wake up, and more importantly, take two 30-60 minutes before bed. When you take it at night it will make you sleepy. You can take it on an empty stomach, it's super easy on the stomach.
   
   Magnesium is the 2nd most common deficiency in the developed world, AND alcohol flushes magnesium out of your body. So chances are that your body is WAY low on it, and that will mess up your sleep AND it will make you depressed. Getting your magnesium levels back up is proven to lower symptoms of depression and improve your mood, something I've experienced first hand, so it should make your moods a little sunnier.
   
   
2. If the above doesn't work for getting you to sleep, and you want to bring in the big guns, take some melatonin at night about 30 minutes before you want to go to bed. I like this brand but there are lots online to choose from.
   
   BIG POINT FOR MELATONIN: Most melatonin pills are 5mg. I don't know why this is, because that's actually a massive dose. Break off about a quarter of a pill and that should be a good dose (.75-1.5mg). Also, if you go the melatonin route, try to limit your usage to 1-2 weeks of daily usage. If you take it too often, then when you stop you might have trouble getting to sleep again, cuz your body got used to it. So just take it for a 5-14 days while your body heals itself and naturally learns how to fall asleep without alcohol.
   
   In general, you may have to take it on faith that it gets better for now while you're hurting, but it's the OVERWHELMING experience of everyone that it does get better. Nobody, ever, in the history of the world, was having a shitty life, and then they started drinking more, and then things got better.
   
   But if you go to an AA meeting (which I highly recommend doing), you will meet people with 1, 5, 10, 20 years of sobriety, and every single one will tell you that their lives got insanely better when they stopped drinking. You'll hear a lot of people saying stuff like "back when I was drinking, I couldn't possibly imagine my life being as good as it is today". And I've had people close to me quit, and I've seen them go through a similar situation.
   
   Hang in there friend. What you're doing right now is worth every bit of effort.

Hi. Sorry to appear to be a stalker. I saw one of your other posts and sometimes I just go down the rabbit hole of reading a users posts. You seemed like you could use some input here.

My wife has had a lot of alcohol/anxiety struggles as well. You tell yourself you’ll have one drink, but given the nature of how alcohol works, it gets easier to convince yourself that each one is fine as you continue to drink. She recently picked up this book:

The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476792968/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_d8MlDbW9DQMJF

She hasn’t touched a drink in 60 days now and hasn’t shown any signs of wanting one either. She feels better than she ever has and I think she looks better than she ever has. Rather than taking the AA route of telling you you are powerless to alcohol and thus should never touch it, it teaches you that you are in fact in control and has instructional videos for meditation and other various methods of reducing anxiety or cravings.

I don’t drink alcohol myself so I can only speak about the experiences my wife has gone through, but in all the years I’ve been with her, I haven’t seen anything as successful and positive as the results from this book. It will take a fair chunk of your day for a month, but I really recommend it.

Some of the stuff you mention in your post resonates quite a bit with me -- the anxiety stuff.

Early in 2015, three years before I got sober, I started seeing a therapist weekly and focused on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) in my sessions. Almost immediately I was able to work with CBT to help deal with my anxiety. Six months in, we agreed that I was wrestling with some mild obsessions/compulsions as well and so I started Sertraline (Zoloft). The combo of CBT and Zoloft was amazing for me. The Zoloft quieted my ruminations (repetitive, intrusive thoughts, like beating myself up for an awkward social interaction, etc) that were bombarding me and gave me the breathing room I needed to really exercise my CBT skills and deal with my anxiety. It took me three years of sticking with therapy, CBT, and medication, but I slowly built up the strength I needed to finally get sober.

Some of the phrasing you used in your post makes me wonder if you might also have a bit of the ol' ruminations. I'm not saying you need therapy or medications, but you might want to put that on your radar if you haven't given them a go.

An old-timer around here, /u/seeker135, has mentioned he read Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy and was eventually able to manage his anxiety without medication. I just bought the sucker yesterday and haven't even cracked it open, but /u/seeker135 definitely seems to have his stuff together, so you might want to look into that too.

Best of luck! I'm learning that just because I got sober doesn't mean I'm suddenly all better. It just means I have a clear enough head to get to work on my real problems now, and I'm frankly excited to get to work!

IWNDWYT

I like those cheesy self-help books. Tony Robbins' Awaken the Giant Within is a good one. Zig Ziglar is another speaker/author to take a look at. There are a lot of authors in that category.

The Four Agreements was good, though it gets a little new-agey at times, and may not be your thing if that turns you off.

I thought The Secret (movie and book) carried a positive message. I liked 'em. I've read the follow up book too. There's a whole lot of bunk science in there, though, so be careful of that. The message is basically, "If you intend good things to happen to you, they will, because quantum physics." They do not understand quantum physics. But as long as you're not foregoing taking action to solve your problems, I think the message is positive. Thinking positively has other benefits. What's it matter what your reason is for doing it, ya know?

Eckhart Tolle has some good books. The Power of Now comes to mind.

A lot of people like The Power of Habit.

I enjoy listening to Alan Watts lectures, that's mostly pop-style Buddhist and Hindu philosophy. Word of caution though, Alan Watts himself is not a Buddhist and in fact at times argues that alcohol & drugs are a good thing. I don't agree with everything the man says but his lectures are thought provoking

The values.com website has a whole slew of cheesy motivational content. Example: Spread Your Wings. I like stuff like that. :)

This is such a good point to bring up. Thank you for doing so! This is really helpful.

I'm much earlier in this process, so I don't know that I have anything helpful to contribute. That said, I hope you don't mind me answering these questions anyway--it's a useful thought exercise.

Also, I'm sorry, I can't seem to not write a flipping novella.

• What do you do on a daily basis to stay stopped?
  
  I have a morning routine that feels really central to my sobriety and my commitments to myself. I get ready for the day, make tea, and listen to the news as I write three to five pages in my journal, and then read the Beyond Belief daily reflection, write out choice quotes and the questions, and answer them.
  
  I've also been taking care with my nutrition and my sleep schedule (the latter being particularly hard), and try to make sure I'm taking really good care of myself. Temptation comes in when I feel rotten in my own skin, so I've been trying to get ahead of it.
  
  
• What keeps you subscribing to a sober life every day?
  
  My paternal grandmother died of alcohol poisoning when my dad was about my age (this was before I was even born). She'd been hospitalized several times before she died. Apparently, one time my dad was in the hospital with her and begged her to stop drinking, telling her she was going to die. She told him that she wanted to die. When she finally did, her family was so used to her passing out on the floor drunk that everyone, including her husband who was a doctor, stepped over her body for hours before they realized she was dead.
  
  My uncle was an addict, and going through complicated gender stuff, and ended up committing suicide when I was three.
  
  My dad died when he tried to quit drinking. The stress on his body took out his already weakened heart.
  
  My mom's side of the family is filled with a bunch of alcoholics who seem to live forever and are violent, angry, and abusive. Oh, except my aunt, who died when I was sixteen. Her health issues that had been ignored while she was in the midst of her addiction took her out.
  
  No one in my family has been able to stop this cycle.
  
  Both sides of my family are destructive to themselves and others. They're also extremely witty, sparkly, creative, charming, generous, brilliant, and knee-slappingly funny people.
  
  I don't want to be a violent, angry, or abusive person, and I don't want to kill myself. I don't want to have a lifetime of misery. I want to take all of the good of my family, that lives in me too, and heal the bad. I can't do it for them, but I can do it for me (I hope). I want to do what my parents, and their parents, could not.
  
  I get that some of this still seems like "fear of what will happen if I drink," but for me, I was never in as deep as my family members were and are. It doesn't feel like a fear, as much as it feels like a sobering (hA) understanding of how the choices I make now can directly impact not only my future, but the future of my loved ones.
  
  In even just three months of sobriety, I have more clarity and calm than I can pretty much ever remember having. I don't know what the future holds, but I've been thinking on this a lot lately--especially when I've started going down that path of, "Well, maybe I wasn't that bad..." or when I get a really bad craving. I'm determined to not repeat this long-standing pattern, and I'm pretty sure a sober life is a crucial element of that.
  
  
• How have your motivations to stay sober changed since you first started?
  
  Initially, it was a response to my own mental health crisis. I knew that drinking was likely making it worse, and that I needed to take a step back. I didn't realize that this was going to become an entire perspective shift, a life shift. My initial motivation was, "I have so much anxiety and I'm in so much pain that I want to die, and using drinking as a coping mechanism is making it worse, so I should moderate and then take a short break."
  
  My new motivation is fueled by a better understanding of myself, as well as addiction, and a deeper understanding of my relationship with alcohol. It's also fueled by the benefits. There are many aspects of sobriety that are a lot harder than I expected, but there are also benefits I would have never anticipated. From what I've heard with people who have much longer term sobriety, things continue to unfold in a similar fashion: unexpected challenges, with extremely unexpected positives. Aside from everything else, I'm excited to see where this path leads.
  
  Thanks for giving me a lot to think about on my lunch break, yo. I appreciate it. <3
  

They deleted it from YouTube, damn. I guess it was copyright infringement. Here is the post the other Redditor mentioned. It's free but with the caveat that you need to sign up for a trial period of Audible (which is not free after the however long the offer is good for). Annie Grace does have a free podcast of the same name that contains some of the same ideas and topics in the book for the cheap peeps out there. The Audible link is below;

This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078F9NDFS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_FOjNDbV5TZ6SV

Hi and welcome! Sent the following info to someone earlier.

There’s lots of good info in the ABOUT section of this sub. You’ll have to figure out what fits for you. Maybe AA is helpful, if not or in addition I found these resources helpful...Alternatives . Quit lit has been helpful for me. This book really cleared my mind about alcohol Alcohol Explained . A lot of people also seem to like This Naked Mind though I haven’t read it. Best of luck!

Hey so it seems you are kind of new to recovery. I have been to rehab 5 times over the years. Over time it moved more towards cognitive recovery. In fact the last rehab was totally cognitive.

You should look at rational recovery. it might be a good fit for you. [Rational Recovery: The new cure for substance addiction] (https://www.amazon.com/Rational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522339718&sr=8-1&keywords=rational+recovery&dpID=51y4eFxq6QL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch)

You will be really surprised at some of the angles it looks at. Especially the addictive treatment industry. And author is straight up anti AA.

I like AA because otherwise I am alone in this.
YOu have family and you have people that you are accountable to. Being accountable is a must in recovery.
This is another very good book and it is written for people early in recovery. It has some humor in it.
(Don't Let the Bastards Grind You Down: 50 Things Every Alcoholic and Addict in Early Recovery Should Know) [https://www.amazon.com/Don%C2%92t-Let-Bastards-Grind-Down/dp/0981708803/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1522341799&sr=8-1&keywords=don%27t+let+the+bastards+grind+you+down&dpID=51DnBBtqC7L&preST=_SY291_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch]

Whatever you do, just do something. If you are really an alcoholic, it WILL progress and you will lose everything.
Ain't no mother fucker here gonna challenge me on that.

much love

Thank you for sharing this. Shame has been one of the worst forces in my life for a long time, really crippling my potential and causing me to keep on self-sabotaging because some part of me doesn't believe that I deserve any better. Weirdly, stopping drinking has actually resulted in LESS shame for me, but I feel like I empathize with what you're going through. I think therapy will really help. (Therapy and meds have helped me.)

You might also want to check out some books by the researcher Brené Brown - she studies shame, courage, and vulnerability. I've only read one of her books - The Gift of Imperfection - but I thought it was really good. She also has some good talks online.

One item to pick up, just under the "general mental health" category is this book, which helped me change the way I looked at large portions of life. I despise self-help books, but this one is different. I actually felt better by the time I had finished the first chapter.

It may or may not offer assistance with your current situation, but it's a good read to make sure you're looking at life from the most positive (for you) outlook.

Just posted this on another post but here is the link to This Naked Mind on Audible for those interested;

This Naked Mind: Control Alcohol, Find Freedom, Discover Happiness, and Change Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/B078F9NDFS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_FOjNDbV5TZ6SV

This was great to read. Congrats, and thank you.
A great book by a neurologist and former addict that challenges the "disease" and "willpower" models is "The Biology of Desire: Why Addiction is Not a Disease" - http://www.amazon.com/The-Biology-Desire-Addiction-Disease/dp/1610394372. Supported my gut beliefs ab addiction (warning: it's very heavy on the neurology but necessarily so) and gave me the courage to start sobriety.

2 pills of this magnesium an hour before the bed and I am good :)


Insight timer guided meditation for sleep when in bed.


Oh, if you have some time listen to this fascinating podcast about sleep


Good luck and IWNDWYT.

Here's a passage from this book where the author is hanging out with her former drinking buddies.

"You okay?" asked Tessa.
Was I? Well, let's see: I had started eating bowls of ice cream as big as my head every night after dinner, I couldn't fathom where one would hang out on a beautiful summer day if not the patio of a bar, I was sitting here smoking cigarettes even though I had quit because, hell, I mean, I had to do something! I had white knuckled my way through a dinner party where I started to get weepy every time someone offered me a glass of wine, and i was so tweaked out on caffeine lately that my eyeballs throbbed. But worst of all, I decided that I couldn't share any of this with my friends. Because no matter what - as much as I wanted to let my friends in, to give them the honest truth, to be vulnerable - the last thing in the world I could allow myself to be was a buzzkill. I may have ruined my good time, but damn it, I would not ruin theirs! And it did not enter my mind that they might care a lot less about that than I did. So I lied.

"I'm great," I replied to Tessa in a fake voice and a small forced smile."

LOL! It goes get better, I promise :)

You can always say you are just there to listen. I personally have not believed in religion and while it is loosely part of it, its things like a "Higher Power" which can be the people around the tables. Or a "God as we understand him" I've been reading the 12 for 12 and it seems to do a good job at explaining these. Maybe the big book is a good place to start also.

I think the best part of AA is the fellowship. People who will listen to you when you are having a problem, and people who will tell you stories when they are having problems. Sometimes listening is the best part of it. I am to the 3rd step which is all about god, just yesterday alone I asked everyone to share how they got over the fact that "God" is written in it, as I have not been religious. It was good to hear everyone stories and even some guys with 10 years say that step is one I still come back to every day because I personally still don't know if I believe in a god.

While my support system at home is very good, these are people who are also there trying every day to do the same thing I am and that is to stay sober. I would say go to 5 to 10 meetings, and if you completely hate it, maybe it's not for you. But I've heard many people people say it took a month for me to start getting it, and others longer. I came in looking to do the 90 meetings in 90 days as they say it's a must for stopping drinking. Sometimes I don't want to be there or talk, but I still go, and if the topic moves me I talk. Sometimes I don't have anything to bring up so I listen.

Good for you. I too am an atheist and I attended AA for a bit more than 2 years. It wasn't for me long-term, but I did get some valuable things out of it.

Oddly enough it was a Buddhist take on AA that got me as far as 2 years, otherwise I'd have dropped it a lot sooner. Maybe that will be helpful for you.

Congrats! Just give it a few weeks and see how you feel, you're in for a trip. A book that really got me questioning my drinking was Dry: A Memoir by Augusten Burroughs. Although I wasn't as bad as him I could relate to too much to pretend that how I was living was OK. It's a fun read.

These are some of my favorites:

[Living Sober] (http://www.amazon.com/Living-Sober-AA-Services/dp/B0048C7TFA/ref=pd_rhf_gw_s_cp_43_WD8V?ie=UTF8&refRID=1EFFBA3G6THH9QT9G6BG)

Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety

Drinking: A Love Story

Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood

I have read it. I also liked "Dry" by Augusten Burroughs.

I saw William Moyers speak and he was great. He wrote this book.

This one is from a father's perspective about his addicted son.

Sidebar! Otherwise, I met Mark Lewis in October at the MN Nobel Peace Conference on Addiction.

There's a couple of books such as:

The Biology of Desire (Lewis), Memoirs of an Addicted Brain (Lewis), In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts (Mate)

Holy cow the things we can do to ourselves. Glad you're sober and being better to yourself. On top of meditation and exercise Feeling Good by David Burns M.D. has helped me out a lot.

Blackout was an excellent book!

Memoirs of an Addicted Brain by Marc Lewis is also an interesting read. It really gets into the science of what addictive substances do to your brain.
https://www.amazon.com/Memoirs-Addicted-Brain-Neuroscientist-Examines/dp/1610392337

Well done for finding the strength to try. I'm sure there are other ways, but here's one I like that seems to be working right now:

I purchased this alternative 12 step book and it has been pretty helpful!

I second MsCasey3000's suggestion. The 30 Day Sobriety Solution. It's been awesome. Another member suggested it to me and I can't thank him enough.

https://www.amazon.com/30-Day-Sobriety-Solution-Drinking-Privacy/dp/147679295X

I did experience similar patterns, yes. I stay active in self-care and recovery and also attend cognitive behavioral therapy weekly. Above all else I do not take a drink no matter what.

This book has helped me immensely.

I am reading this book now:

The Power of Now

​

It provides insight in how I can live in the NOW and not in the past or worrying about the future. It has been helpful for me so far. I still have about 1/2 the book left. I was/am the same as you in I would drink to shut-off. My mind would always be thinking and when I drink I would just comatose myself. lol This book is giving me ways to get out of my head and back to living life.

Kevin Griffin - One Breath At a Time


Noah Levine - Against the Stream

These are buddhist models, but I've found both these men's takes very helpful. They have talks on each step available online. I don't think I'll every consider myself buddhist, but I find a lot of their advice helpful. They offer ways of getting around obstacles of the twelve steps for people not keen on the salvation from an external force idea.

It's available on Amazon and on the Kindle if that helps

https://www.amazon.com/Alcohol-Explained-William-Porter/dp/1516997190

i just bought this book and it looks to be very helpful https://www.amazon.com/30-Day-Sobriety-Solution-Drinking-Privacy/dp/147679295X

Yes.
The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476792968/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_p-cozb5VT14XK

Here's the link for the magnesium! Also, as far as the CBD goes, I would suggest getting the vape liquid. Cbd doesn't have the highest oral bioavailabililty, so vaping is preferable. However, if you are uncomfortable with that, the oral tinctures should work fine!

Since you mentioned you were downing a couple of bottles of wine a night, consider going to a doctor to help with withdrawals. Remember, alcohol withdrawal is worst 72 hours after your last drink. That's when the risk of seizures is highest. If you have any medical questions, please ask! I can point you in the right direction. For example, several people mentioned multivitamins, especially B vitamins. Definitely second that.

Be kind to yourself, you got this!

I'm reading a book called, 'The Secret' -
http://www.amazon.com/The-Secret-Rhonda-Byrne/dp/1582701709/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1407505478&sr=8-1&keywords=the+secret

The main topic is around power of intuition and how our brains are wired to not think in 'no alcohol' or 'yes alcohol', but just 'alcohol'. The more we think about the subject the closer we get.

Not if it that is all a bunch of bull, but your story reminded me of what I'm currently reading.

Read this, then you can teach them:

https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Meditation-Integrating-Mindfulness/dp/1501156985/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1537222371&sr=8-1&keywords=illuminated+mind

(granted, you will also have to achieve world domination)

https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Meditation-Integrating-Mindfulness/dp/1501156985

You could try "The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" and "Living Sober" - they both helped me a lot and were written 15 and 30 years after the "Big Book" Alcoholics Anonymous.

But the one book (that is not published by AA) which told me the most about AA and really helped me come to terms with practicing the 12 Steps as an Atheist is the book "Not God" by Ernie Kurtz

http://www.amazon.ca/The-Power-Now-Spiritual-Enlightenment/dp/1577314808


http://www.amazon.ca/Practicing-Mind-Developing-Discipline-Challenge/dp/1608680908/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412469721&sr=1-1&keywords=the+practicing+mind

In addition to the Big Book, I read Carr along with Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery. Both present cognitive approaches to addressing addictions.

There are a few chapters in Trimpey's book that struck me as the most accurate I had ever read about "my" addiction, not the least of which was to say the following (paraphrasing):

We all drink for the same reason: It feels good. At first it "feels good," and we drink again -- and more -- to replicate the experience. It gets harder to replicate as our tolerance increases, so we drink even more to feel good. Eventually we drink excessively and regularly to dispel the "bad" effects of not drinking, which still means drinking to feel good. Eventually we become sad, fat, and depressed because of alcohol, so we blame the depression for the drinking as opposed to the other way around.

Trimpey wrote this book in the mid-nineties and has since forged off on other paths -- including vitriol-laced attacks on AA that largely deflate his more intelligent arguments. But his work supplied the base for SMART Recovery and other cognitive programs.

While it's no substitute for therapy, this book REALLY helped me to manage my severe anxiety: http://www.amazon.com/Anxiety-Phobia-Workbook-Edmund-Bourne/dp/1572248912