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Hey, no problem. Therapy can be intimidating, but it doesn't have to be a big deal, and despite common wisdom, you don't need a "problem" to benefit.

If you'd like to take steps on your own before you're able to find affordable therapy, the book Mind Over Mood is often recommended by CBT psychologists. I think the title makes it sound like wishy-washy sort of self-help, but in truth it's based on an established, evidence based therapy called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

A new edition just came out, but there's nothing wrong with the previous one and you can pick it up a used copy for about $6-$8 on Amazon (shipping included). Check it out if you're so inclined. It won't provide that sense of understanding that a good therapist can, but it can equip you with a few tools to better manage your day-to-day.

Good luck!

yeah, I found audiobooks helped because I could put it on and go for a walk/lay down and just listen. Slightly more passive but it's a start. Self-Therapy by Jay Earley and Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg are the two I tend to recommend because they helped me a lot but I'm sure there's more out there. I also found elements of this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131 useful as it's super structured, but it's harder work for sure.

I started journaling on my own after my dog/best friend passed away (11.26.18) and I got diagnosed with ptsd and severe mdd and had to start taking anti depressants.

I bought this one from amazon:

Molonbutterfly Leather Journal, Handmade Refillable Travelers Notebook as Daily Diary or Life Planner for Men or Women, with 3 Writing Notepads/Pocket Size/Glossy Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CTF4GNG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_qwjBDb30TFBTN

(If links aren’t allowed I can remove it and I apologize!)

I like the travelers passport size as it’s small enough to fit in my sling bag and large enough for me to write comfortably. You can get other sizes too, some larger or thinner, etc.

It comes with 3 separate journals (one lined, one blank and one graph squares.) you can buy refills for 7-8 bucks for a pack of 3.
(I get 3 blank ones as refills as I don’t like the lines or the graph squares. ) Super easy to refill too as what holds them in place is a rubber band type thing.

The individual journals are filled with enough pages to write a good amount but also keep the journal in its entirety not too bulky.

You can also get other inserts like a month or weekly calendar journal or a zip pouch type insert journal or something.
(I bought a monthly one but I don’t do anything so mines always blank :( ... aside from my weekly therapy appointment... )

I enjoy the separate journals as it helps me keep my thoughts organized.
I have a journal dedicated to write to my dog, track depression / antidepressant notes, and notes/insightful stuff my therapist says that I will forget if I don’t write them down.

So far I still feel hopeless without my dog, but I can see that from my notes I have been have been better at taking my medication consistently and I have been having less panic attacks.

Hopefully this helps, and I hope you find a good journal!

I'm really sorry you are going through this tough time. Gender and identity can be tricky and heartbreaking for millennial in liberal cities (like me), it can be much harder for people in your situation. But that doesn't mean its impossible.

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I imagine that this will be tricky to suppress for the rest of your life. Being in touch with who we are is important, even if it can be tough. But that doesn't mean it needs to happen all at once, or in a disorganised manner. Sometimes having a few people who know the 'real you' can alleviate some of the pressure. One of those people might be a therapist who can help you work through any other options that are available.

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You might find this book helpful, Meg John Barker is an excellent writer on gender (gen x, I would guess). I've also heard good things about Kate Borstein's Gender Outlaw (and she narrates the audiobook so you could listen to it on your commute) - she's gen x as well.

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I hope this helps, and my thoughts are with you.

It did start out for DBT and when used for that, has a really structured approach. But the basic skills are useful for most people who can get overwhelmed by their emotions. And don’t we all sometimes?

I’m currently reading “Calming the Emotional Storm” which is written for a more general audience. You might like that one better. The author gets right to the point and talks about concrete skills in a very logical, doable way.

You can get this book - Feeling Good by David Burns for 6 to 8 dollars on Amazon (assuming you're in the US)

Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy https://www.amazon.com/dp/0380810336/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_kO0wCb9B871X6

One of the best books ever written on depression

thank you so much for your comments really insightful and I can see how your sensitivity accentuates and shows in your writing.

I've had a similar situation, I can better deal with my mom now and learned to be more assertive though I can alternate between passive and aggressive communication. It was walking on egg shells with my father as he has an abusive personality and unstable emotion.

with friends that are similarly aggressive, for some reason I have more difficulty with, could be a comfort thing

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if anyone wants to learn more about assertiveness I would recommend checking out Randy J Paterson's - The Assertiveness Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572242094/

or check out these free sources for CBT tailored self therapy guides

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm

http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=51 (assertiveness guide)

If you're anxious about a relationship, that means you care about it.

I've been reading Attached lately, very helpful for figuring out why I do the things I do

This is my favorite:


The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation & ... Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1572245131/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_B2jTzbCBQ542N

Trust me. This. Ignore the title and the description, this will help you understand the question, and maybe, just maybe show you a path towards the answer. You didn't tell your girlfriend you were tired because you wanted to please her, as if just telling her how you feel would make you not good enough. That is the fallacy of being "Nice" and trying to please women, you end up doing them a disservice. Had you just allowed yourself to be the imperfect being you are, allowed yourself to be tired, you would come out on top.

https://www.amazon.ca/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339/ref=sr_1_1?crid=24J7FID4BTDDA&keywords=no+more+mr+nice+guy&qid=1565365179&s=gateway&sprefix=no+more+mr%2Caps%2C167&sr=8-1