Reddit reviews Be the Person You Want to Find: Relationship and Self-Discovery

Gosh. So very sorry.
To just highlight a few of the points other posters make:

• it's incredibly difficult to notice that this is a pattern when it's happening to you. When someone is incredibly upset, we don't generally question whether there's an underlying reason we're more likely to get triggered. It feels like we're legit mad at the trigger. And it feels like the scope of the response is justified. If there's a lot going on, it might be hard to get the distance to see that there's a pattern.
  
  
• I know that I'm incredibly sensitive to the idea of being "crazy". "Crazy" is a word we use to devalue people. "Crazy" people don't make important decisions. "Crazy" people aren't trusted. "Crazy" people lose their autonomy. Being hijacked by hormones for half the month sounds a lot like "crazy" and that is downright terrifying. It's terribly unfortunate that we've got this stigma wrapped around this problem, and the stigma makes it a lot harder to seek help, and a lot harder to have open conversations with people about it.
  
  
• pointing out the good times has never helped me. It's like discovering that your employee hasn't been doing any work for the last three weeks and when you confront them about it, ready to fire them, they point out that they've worked for you for years without a problem. You're unlikely to say, "oh, yeah, that's right. My bad. This will pass." You're more likely to think that maybe they've been pulling this shit on you for years and you haven't noticed.
  
  
• if she's talking about divorce and gas lighting, listen to her. She's saying you have a relationship problem. Relationship problems happen to literally Everyone. It's not possible to have an equal relationship with someone without going through some of this. Relationshipping is HARD even without PMDD added to the mix. Remember how, at your wedding, everyone who was married said, "this is work. A LOT of work."? This is is what they were talking about.
  
  
• as much as I dislike feeling personally hijacked by my hormones, I have come to appreciate that if there's something that's really bugging me, it WILL get addressed at that time of month even if the rest of the month I'm sweet and easy going. Your wife is no wilting flower. She has a strong will to survive and if you can step back, you'll see an incredibly powerful woman who is trying to figure shit out. (She's coming into her power, so to speak.) This version of her is also eminently worthy of your love. And woah, what an incredible ally to have at your side! <3
  
  Here's the fantastic news: you don't have to get a divorce. You don't have to go to therapy. Your wife doesn't need to be confronted or medicated or fixed. These are, of course, options, but none of these options will get you back to the way things were.
  
  Getting back to the way things were isn't actually an option.
  
  Let that sentence percolate for a minute. You're likely to have a lot of emotional response to that fact, and, if you're anything like most people, you'll spend most of your life denying that fact. But you're different than you were when you were a kid. You're different than you were before you had kids. You are growing and changing all the time. It makes sense that your relationship needs to grow and change too.
  
  Getting back to the way things were isn't actually an option.
  
  But, that fact can set you free. You CAN find new ways to love your wife, live your life, and you CAN address some of the things that have cropped up in your relationship.
  
  It's incredibly powerful to realize that you have the power to change your relationship dynamic by changing how you respond to her, how you respond to yourself. Having love and compassion for your wife starts with having love and compassion for yourself. And from a place of love and compassion, real growth and change can happen. You are worth it. Your family is worth it. Your wife is worth it.
  
  Check out "Feeling Good Together" by David Burns. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0767920821/ref=sxts_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527002252&sr=1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65
  
  And "Be The Person You Want to Find" by Cheri Huber. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0963625527/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527002335&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=be+the+person+you+want+to+find