Reddit reviews Benefit of the Doubt: Breaking The Idol Of Certainty

This book by Peter Enns (which I have yet to read) might help.

Also this, which I have read and found it helped me rethink how I think of doubt.

Pluck Benefit of the Doubt from my reading list and tell me what you think of it. I know this interview with the author looked good.

I wouldn't use a phrase like "Christian agnostic" because I think "agnostic" to most people implies a refusal to make even tentative conclusions about God, not just doubts in a belief you've chosen to commit to. I'm not very doubtful myself, though, so that's just outsider advice.

I don't have any real advice but I wanted to express some kind of solidarity(!)

Honestly I find the whole "faith" thing pretty bewildering. I've been in a faith crisis or period of doubting of varying deepness for about two years now, with no obvious sign of it ending either towards faith or towards agnosticism. At the start of this period, I felt like I did all I could to stop the "slide" out of certainty but the more I looked, the more cracks seemed to open up and need addressing. On the topic of "faith being about seeking certainty", this book (Greg Boyd, Benefit of the Doubt) has been interesting - he's trying to say that a lot of evangelicals have a view of what "faith" is that sets them up to have faith crises like mine (the idea of something like "salvation by how sure I am").

That said, I'm still hopeful that I might be able to make some kind of Christianity "work".

I guess for me one of the biggest maybe-hints that there is a God trying to woo me back is how I keep being interested in it. It comes and goes, but for weeks at a time I'll throw myself at reading books, articles, posting here, talking to friends. I'm in a lull again now, and I guess it might not pick up again, but a good friend of mine has remarked on how he doesn't see me as having "given up" - and I took some comfort from that, at least.

And for the most part, I still like Jesus. I might even more than I used to when I said I loved him... and that makes me wonder whether this process could be about refining my rather warped views of God and Christianity and moving towards a more wholesome view.

That, my friend is an awful lot of questions :) Christianity is a big stream we all swim in. There is no one religion that contains all the truth of Christianity. Jesus is bigger than that. You mention that you're Catholic. That may be part of the problem. Not with Catholicism necessary but the fact you're allowing one sect of Christianity to try to answer all your questions about faith.

Here are some books to get you started:
Benefit of Doubt by Greg Boyd - Why it's good and even beneficial to doubt.
Love Wins by Rob Bell - a great way to look at Heaven and Hell.

It's better to live in the questions than the answers! Good luck!