Reddit reviews Floyd Patterson

Hello and sorry for my pretty late reply, it’s been a busy day! I've not really celebrated yet, I might do something once its past the first draft. I did read through your feedback and found it all very helpful and will be incorporating it into my second draft. Below are the answers to some of the questions you asked:


P1: Yes, the crescendo just means it gets louder and louder, climaxing with Malcolm getting took out.


P2: Valid point here and along with you other points of needing more backstory I am going to change this slightly. In regards to knowing Malcolm’s name the prison have it on a list but obviously, a prison officer isn’t going to know Adam from Steve with a bunch of new inmates.


P4: Yes, the pace is quick, I’m going to add a little more backstory in the opening pages but getting bogged down in prison is not my aim. Malcolm is purposely a mysterious person, hard to read, an enigma basically. What you need to bear in mind is that he is a beast of a young man, his physical appearance is more of a characteristic than anything else. In regards to your suggestions I think I’m going to pick the first one and show a glimpse of his life before prison.


P7: The guard is just racist and ignorant; a common theme of historical racism is black people are uneducated and lesser people.

I’m not too fussed about historical inaccuracies such as high fives and the body language line because they are fairly minor, the 80 percent line isn’t a scientific fact it’s just his own views. Jimmy’s bookshelf shows the type of man he is and the understanding he has of human psychology. My story isn’t based on real events but it was inspired by reading [a biography of Floyd Patterson] (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Floyd-Patterson-Fighting-Invisible-Champion/dp/1845963326) who was trained by Cus D’Mato, the man who also trained Mike Tyson. Both of these fighters became the youngest heavyweight champion of all time, Floyd in the 1950s and Mike in the 1980s. New York is a conscious choice, it was the centre of the boxing universe before Vegas took the crown so no it wasn’t a random choice in any way.


P31: Malcolm’s main fear is abandonment and getting close to people which (hopefully) becomes apparent as the story progresses. He’s just an angry young man due to being brought up in hard times. I’ll flesh him out a bit more to make this apparent. Boxing is his only option to change his life from poverty to wealth.


P37: Teddy turning racist is a surprising turn inspired by a similar scene in Remember the Titans. It shows the when push comes to shove most people will show their true colours.


Again thanks for reading you have helped me a great deal here.