Reddit reviews Grieving: A Beginner's Guide

I also lost my partner while relatively young (though not as young as your son), and I'll offer you some "counter-advice." Assuming the general natural order of things, you are older than your son. :) My mother spent the entire first visit after my partner died, worrying out loud about what would happen when her partner died. It was incredibly insensitive and it took me over a year to really forgive her for it. (I mean, obviously, it's a thing she worries about, but WOW was I not the right person to worry about it to.)

The best grieving book I've read is (Grieving: A Beginner's Guide)[https://smile.amazon.com/Grieving-Beginners-Jerusha-Hull-McCormack/dp/1557254931], it is specifically targeted at people who have lost their partners, but is easily generalizable. There is a special section in it for people who know people who have lost people. (It's at the end! Make sure to look for it.)

In general, yes, availability to talk, yes, financial support. Also, convenience things. I don't have children, but I needed the people who brought me food. I bet he needs that even more. Since you're far away, signing up with whatever his local equivalent of foodkick, peapod, instacart-- something that will deliver groceries. I also had a friend who gave me her login to foodler, which aggregates take-out places. And a couple days I wouldn't have eaten at all, except that I knew I could order on her account. (The early days were fraught with money problems. They still are, but not on the "I can't buy groceries" level). Sometimes, it's easier to accept a login to a grocery or takeout service than it is to accept cashmonies. Even though it's the same thing at some level, I think it's easier to accept food than money. Along the same way, depending on how he shops, adding your credit card to his amazon account or such might also be a roundabout way of providing support.

I also really appreciated remembrances of my love. Just little silly anecdotes that people remembered. I think (again since you're far away) a post card or paper letter saying "I really value that time when she did X and we enjoyed Y..." might go a long way.

I wrote a billion of thank you notes after the memorial. I never got a single follow-up from his colleagues, checking in. Encouraging other people to check-in, gently, may also be a thing.