Reddit reviews How to Make & Keep Friends: Tips for Kids to Overcome 50 Common Social Challenges

My son doesn't display everything you've described, but some of it is similar. Kids would yell all the time "Hi, John!" and he wouldn't say anything back. This started when he was fairly young (4-5 years old). I would always whisper to him, "Say 'hi'." Because I knew how it looked. I knew he was just shy or unsure about how to react, but it looked like he was being rude. So, I sat him down and was very specific. "When kids say hi to you, you say hi back. It's friendly and you can make more friends that way and keep the friends you already have. When they say hi to you, it means they like you."

I don't try to be vague: "Treat others how you want to be treated." That can mean a million different things to a 5-7 year old.

I tell him to play with his friends when he's with his friends (birthdays, at the park, at school, soccer, etc.). It shows that he appreciates them being there with him.

He's 8 years old now and is doing much better. He says "hello" and "goodbye" to anyone who says it to him. He loves going to school and never complains about "not having friends."

I recommend this book:

How to Make & Keep Friends: Tips for Kids to Overcome 50 Common Social Challenges

It's very specific and simple enough for young kids. It lists out actions kids can take to make friends.

Examples:

• Remind yourself before your arrive somewhere that you will properly greet the people you see.
  
  
• When you enter a place or a room, enter quietly without flinging or banging doors or running in a wild manner.
  
  
• Move in and away from the door so that other people can enter if needed.
  
  
• Stop and look directly at the person or people you are greeting.
  
  
• If looking at the person is difficult for you, make sure your shoulders are turned fully toward the person.
  
  
• Say hello to the person or people.
  
  
• If someone say, "Hello, how are you today?" you should answer "I'm fine, thanks, and how are you?"
  
  
• Observe any other people that might already be in the room and notice what they are doing and how they are acting - try to do the same.
  
  
• Ask permission before touching or using anything.
  
  
• If a parent or another adult is dropping you off, make sure that you look at them and say "Goodbye" or "See you in a while."
  
  These actions are secondary nature to you and me and other adults, but not to a lot of young children. And no, you don't have to be autistic to miss these cues. Some kids are just in their own little world when they're young.

I have a feeling you'll need this

Try How To Be a Friend or Growing Friendships. There's also How to Make & Keep Friends and Speak Up and Get Along, aimed at slightly older kids.

http://www.amazon.com/How-Make-Keep-Friends-Challenges/dp/1456313460/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1341646040&sr=8-2&keywords=how+to+make+friends