Reddit reviews I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It
We found 16 Reddit comments about I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Great product!
There's a good book called I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. It doesn't just address how to find a career path - it also addresses (very well) what might be keeping you stuck.
I feel for you. I think all of us struggle at one point or another to find the purpose in our existence and chase happiness. I think one of the best things that has helped me is travel and spending time alone with myself. Obviously you can be alone without traveling very far, but sometimes it makes it easier to listen to your inner voice when you are in a strange place. I know financially travel may not be an option right now, but that's okay.
Set aside a small amount of time every day to find your inner voice. This might be through meditation, journaling, or just quiet time. No devices, no distractions, just be alone with yourself. Think about the times you have been happiest, the things that make you feel like you have a purpose here. Try to slowly collect the key characteristics of those experiences--what do they have in common? From there, you can begin to craft a plan for progress.
Another suggestion I have is to use a book like "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was". (There are quite a few others out there too.) This particular book has some really cool exercises that help you tease these things out, and you can work through it during some of your quiet time or use it to help direct your thinking. I wish you all the best of luck!
Read this book. While you are not doing something, just do something, anything. In one ridiculous example in the book, a shy lady that could not figure out what she wanted to do with her life decided to learn how to dog sleigh. People though she was crazy. She went and learned, went in a race, finished, and then knew what she wanted to do. Often times when people do not know what they want to do they become paralysed. They think they need to do something amazing but can't think of what that is. We can usually figure out what we want to do, when we are doing something that we may not want to do forever. So instead of playing video games or surfing the internet, turn that crap off and go do something more constructive. Running races are good for this. Train and run a 5K or 10K. You will finish, you don't have to win, and you will feel motivated to figure something else to do.
Everyone is defective, there is no perfect person. No one cares that you are defective. They are only worried about their own defectiveness. People may point out your problems so that their own issues are not as obvious. You need to first evaluate how to measure self worth. Is it by the amount of money a person makes, how many times and how many partners you have sex, or maybe you are using how other people see you as the measurement? This is your life and you can measure your worth any way you please. I always just followed my interests, tried to stay away from things that are too addictive, and defined how I will judge myself, not based on other expectations or the typical frat boy mentality.
Don't isolate yourself. That's probably the most important rule to "get a life" anytime during your life, not just the medical training part. I enjoyed Barbara Sher's TED talk on this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2rG4Dg6xyI
But of course, that's much easier said than done. I'd recommend putting yourself out there more. Join some hobby-activity groups. I'm sure students at your school have formed sports teams, hiking clubs, running clubs, frisbee clubs, etc. Some of my classmates formed a movie-club, and another one formed a restaurant dining-out club to try out new foods. Go volunteer to meet new people. Even if you don't like these activities, just give them a try one time. It sounds like you don't have other things planned anyway, so you've got nothing to lose.
I'll bet that you might already have a hobby/goal that you've always wanted to do but never got around during med school or feel it's too daunting. Identifying this and carrying through requires some more work, but the end result will be satisfying. Again, Barbara Sher has this book called "I could do anything if i only knew what it was." It's more focused on careers, but a few of the examples are about hobbies. I recommend reading it, it's pretty easy to read and feels more like an exercise book (it guides you in narrowing down what you want to accomplish and help you find ways to accomplish them). https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003
G'luck, and congrats on finishing up med school!
Also, i'm not affiliated with Barbara Sher in any way, nor do I get any compensation for promoting her work. I just like her message.
In the absence of any specific details about what you might be able to use in similar careers, I'm going to recommend my favourite career changing/focusing books:
If you're sure you're done with trading for the time being, I recommend these two books:
What Color Is Your Parachute? 2018: A Practical Manual for Job-Hunters and Career-Changers by Richard N. Bolles:
https://www.amazon.com/What-Color-Your-Parachute-2018/dp/039957963X/
I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It by Barbara Sher and Barbara Smith
https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003
They both have very useful exercises to help you clarify what you really want out of your vocation and career, and also how to build on all of your existing skills, knowledge and innate talents.
Man, you are not alone. There are some decent books that might be somewhat helpful though:
http://www.amazon.com/Do-What-You-Are-Personality/dp/0316167266/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1318004445&sr=8-1
http://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318004520&sr=1-1
I could recommend some books on business / entrepreneurship which also fit his narrative if somebody wants.
Far be it from me to tell a coyote to stop rambling, let alone the Queen of them!
Maybe you could start on another book before WCIYP then? One I found was really good at quickly pulling to light a lot of underlying issues is Barbara Sher's I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was: http://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003
Starting there to work through some of the reasons you don't already have a career that makes you happy, and then moving onto WCIYP's implementation strategies might work well.
This might look corny to you, but check out this book ... I'm reading it right now and it has some potent exercises for gaining some awareness about yourself and your drives and desires.
>A life without self-love, spirituality, and meaningful contact with other people is not a life worth living.
You already know what you want. Start doing something to get it. Clearly you've put enough thought into what's holding you back -- start taking some steps to move beyond those things. It is entirely possible and maybe not as difficult as you may want to believe.
Get this book by Barbara Sher. Ignore the title of the book (you already know what you want to be) and go straight to the chapter about "going against your tribe." That chapter deals EXACTLY with what you are facing now. Read it and think. Also look up Barbara's website and join her forum. You will find people who's whole purpose is to support each other in the process of trying to achieve their dreams.
One of the ways I have personally learned to cope with the "who I really am" thing recently is to imagine a border collie raised among Newfoundland dogs.
"Newfies" are HUGE, born and bred to be water dogs capable of rescuing people in cold, rough seas. They are also docile and relatively quiet creatures when kept at home. When hanging around the house, Newfies are often like a quietly-snoring chunk of furniture that relocates itself every once in a while. They are better off if they have access to challenging cold waters.
A purebred border collie, on the other hand, was born to herd, born to work, born to GTFO and RUN all over the countryside. Border collies are bundles of determined energy. Keeping a border collie cooped up in the house all day is inviting disaster. If you don't give a border collie what it REALLY needs, it can go a little nuts and expend it's energy by chewing up the furniture.
So there you are, chewing up the family "furniture" of your parents expectations by being born as a different "breed" than them. That's not your fault. It's who you are.
You were NOT born to swim in the ocean of doctoring, plunging through medical school to rescue people from the rushing tides of illness and defying scary, ice-filled storm waves to bring those victims safely back to shore.
You were born to "herd" technical details, to run 'em fast and far. You were born with restless geek energy to create and to fix and to innovate. If you were plunged into the medical "ocean" of where your parents want you to be, you'd have a hell of a problem.
Conversely, can you imagine a newfie running around trying to herd sheep or whatever? It wouldn't be a very pretty sight. I don't think any newf would understand how awesome that experience is for a real border collie.
So there you are, being like a border collie stuck with newfies for parents. They can't even imagine the world you are REALLY suited for, the true world where you would be honestly happy. Happiness for them is in challenging those ocean waves. They can't wrap their minds around happiness coming from being in a completely different environment and working world.
That's why they say stupid things like "when you grow up, you will have no friends because they will all become successful and leave you behind and you will still be a failure."
Well, duh... a metaphorical newfie-brain would consider anything that ISN'T 100% newfie to be a failure at life. You aren't out there in the ocean like they want you to be. That means you'd "suck at life" in their eyes no matter what. You could win some kind of freakin' awesome nobel prize thing at engineering and they'd probably still consider you a failure at life because of their narrow view of what happiness really is.
>Should I just give in and do what they want?
Accept and love your metaphorical newfie parents as who they really are. Understand that what they have for you is sadly misdirected love, not really understanding or accepting who YOU really are.
Wiser parents than yours would actually step back, realize that their kids are separate creatures from then and accept and support their children's real dreams.
As you learn to accept your metaphorical newfie parents as they are, learn to accept yourself as the metaphorical border collie that YOU are. :)
Step into the world where you belong, and you WILL find your friends, people like you who understand and love you for who you really are and were born to do. :)
Go run with the geeks, go chase down those engineering challenges, bark like hell and and direct those ideas into new realms. You'll find others who were built like you and will be positive friends with you as you become honest with yourself and the world regarding what you were born to do.
So have the courage to quit looking for approval from your well-meaning but depressing parents and go run with the geeks.
Heck... go see if your ultimate dream could be to design and build amazing devices that doctors could use to save lives. That would bridge the gap between your world and theirs. :)
EDIT: Holy hell, that was long. I'm not going to bother with a tl;dr here. The above paragraphs are the product of my own trying to fit myself into a lifetime of the wrong pigeonhole and thinking I was "failing at life" because I never followed the real dreams I never knew I had. I had to get breast cancer and check out of life for a few years myself in order to finally realize who I am and what I should have done in life. I will leave the sum total of my learning as it is... if someone else wants to do a tl;dr for this, then go for it.
I read this book and found the exercises incredibly helpful, both regarding career/hobby choices and relationship choices. It breaks down all the different flavors of noncommittal, looks at the different reasons/fears/etc that might be lurking underneath, and talks about more productive ways to engage with those feelings.
Actually, I just googled the book and it looks like it might be helpful for both of us - https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003 - to quote one of the reviews,
In a nutshell, what the book does is this:
...maybe I'll see if my library has a copy!
I do think you're overthinking it a bit. You don't have to totally reinvent yourself: just try to find job that's less pressure that you can get for comparable money. There are to s of people selling social media promotion and I suspect it would be less pressure than what you're doing.
Book you might try
https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003
(you may also find these books useful:
I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was by Barbara Sher
and
Refuse to Choose, also by Barbara Sher )
You clearly need a big change, but while homelessness and death both fulfill this requirement, they are not recommended.
If you're a creative introvert, then no sh*t you hate your repetitive, dead end, customer service job. The only question there is how have you managed to do it for six years? Give yourself some credit. You're tenacious if nothing else.
You need to find a career that better aligns with your personality and interests. But first, you may need a palate cleanser. Find another job that's not customer-facing immediately. Any other job that pays your bills. The boring and dead-end parts don't apply to a new, very different job, at least not immediately. Do this before you quit your current one.
With luck, that will give you the mental boost you need to devote some energy to figuring out what you can do that 1) you can tolerate if not enjoy, 2) that you can become qualified for, and 3) pays your bills. I recommend taking a look at a book called I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was. Yeah, it's a cheesy self-help book, but it's got a good framework for how to think this out.
Where's the rest of your family? Considered a move, either domestic or international?
Hope any of this is helpful. Good luck, don't die, and let us know how it goes. I've been there on the suicide thing and am here for you if you'd like to PM.
Sounds like you need to determine what is your passion and your interest. Dont get hung up about education, qualifications. The best book I ever read to help align me was https://www.amazon.com/Could-Anything-Only-Knew-What/dp/0440505003
Get yourself settled on what you want to try and then focus on how to find a job. Start talking to friends, colleagues, update LinkedIn profile and looking for good connections in the field you are looking for. The key is to pick up the phone, go meet people and put yourself out there!