Reddit reviews I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead

Loving What Is
I Need Your Love: Is That True?
The Way of the Superior Man

My therapist told me to purchase and read these books. I did. These books, in addition to my therapy, were instrumental in pulling me out from where you are right now.
I once was at a point where I didn't leave the house. For a year. I barely left my room. I can empathize with your situation. Get those books, find a therapist, and try. It is hard, it sucks and it hurts, but it is worth it in the end.

I recently read this book: http://www.amazon.com/dp/0307345300/

It's called:

I Need Your Love - Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead

it's a pretty fluffy title but it's important to look past that and reading the incredibly powerful content and following or trying out some of the exercises.. I'm nearing 180 days and there are many a time where I've been extremely frustrated/upset/whatever.. as if this nofap is some magic fix which it seems to be for some people. for me (at present) it goes into the realm of dealing with and confronting the underlying emotional bullshit/thoughts from a relatively clear head space.

keep going man..

I'm not sure if this comment is really what this thread is "about", but it's what I feel like sharing because I feel it is critically relevant...

If there is one lesson I can share with all of you that I know from the depths of my heart, it's this:

Never, ever settle for anything in your life--especially a relationship--just because you think you can't have what you really want.

If you want to know a big reason why so many adults around you are bitter, unhappy, and miserable, it's because they know deep down that they gave up on what they really wanted--that they gave up on themselves. This applies to many areas of life, but relevant to this thread would be: They got into a relationship with or even married someone they didn't really love because, you know, better that than be alone (or, as it sometimes happens in Desi culture, the inability to stand up to family pressure).

Wrong, wrong, wrong. And everyone knows it's wrong in their hearts. Yet time and again I see people settling and selling themselves short. It breaks my heart, because I know that person is just walking themselves into a prison cell and closing the gate behind them. Sometimes they're lucky enough to wake up and get out, but others just stay in that cell until they die.

Why? Because of security. Because their fear was more powerful than their love--especially love for themselves.

"But darthrevan, being alone sucks. Loneliness hurts, a lot. We need companionship. What are we supposed to do?"

There honestly isn't enough space in a Reddit comment to address this concern, because it's probably the biggest project of inner work there is, so all I can do is recommend that everyone read this book--which I won't hesitate to say has completely changed my life and I really wish I had read it when it first came out. I've made so many poor decisions because I didn't love myself that I'm only now starting to correct. May you be fortunate enough to prevent yourself from making poor choices in the first place.

Edit: And for guys who see a woman on the cover and think, "Oh, it's an Oprah/girly book", please set aside your stereotypes, assumptions, and preconceptions. That book is as highly relevant for men as it is for women. If anything, it's more helpful to men because we often don't even discuss such things with each other or with others...so we're possibly even more lost than women on these issues. Don't deny yourself some amazing help just because you think it's "girly".

Another thought. You are dealing with issues at the crossroads of communication, self esteem, fear of hurting people, and being hurt yourself. Here are a couple of useful books:

Emotional Blackmail Read it with the lens of what is being done to you and how you employ these tactics too.

I Need your Love, is that true It is about the entwining of "needing" to be loved with how you "need" to be treated. And how we are all poisoned by the idea that we need to never be wrong and need to be special at all times.

Also picking up a good book about non-violent communication can be very helpful. That tactic is about trying to address the subtext to communications. We say that we want one thing, but really it is more about what that one thing represents.