Reddit reviews Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living
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as you've already mentioned, this world can be really tough with greedy people. my advice for you is to not rely on someone else or something else to feel right. enjoy kpop for what it is - fun, dorky, polished comfort. but also see what it really is. most things are scripted. there is a lot of marketing behind it. people get plastic surgery to look like that or eat very little to attain that sort of body. this is neither healthy nor a very happy life.
still, you genuinely laughed and cried with those 9 girls. this is real. don't give anyone the power to take that away from you. be proud that although you've went through so much shit already in your young life, you still have the full capacity to laugh, cry, love, hope and dream. this journey with snsd might be over but what you've learned - the laughing, loving etc. you can bring into your life bit by bit and you'll see that you'll be alright.
take good care of your mental and physical health - be attentive of what you put into your head and into your body, the words that you take to heart or refuse to take to heart. nourish yourself. it's a big world outside. some ppl will find you feeling sad about a kpop group breaking up ridiculous, but you will just as well find others who share your sadness. do what feels right for you. if you feel sad because you feel like you lost best friends whm you've shared great moments with, then mourn it, so you can move on. you are still so young and life can be a bitch but can offer lots of great things as well, you know. you have the capacity to experience it. that's wonderful. i know some 'successful' people who are dead inside. that's really awful. can you imagine living never being able to laugh like you did or love like you did?
if you still need some closure and understanding concerning the topic of death, i can recommend you this book http://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Experts-Mysteries-Living-ebook/dp/B006YDFYN0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1412217844&sr=8-2&keywords=elisabeth+kessler
the authors have worked closely with patients who faced death. there is a lot to be learned about life from death. hopefully it can provide you a positive POV about life and being alive now.
anthony de mello's thoughts on awareness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3YSEybo71M really changed my view on life a lot. i hope it helps you too, to not depend on others to live a happy and healthy life.
all the best.