Reddit reviews Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined

Some of what you describe is consistent with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. It is common and underdiagnosed by primary care doctors. If you do have PCOS then the hirsutism, excess weight and acne will continue until the disease is controlled. Many women that have had untreated PCOS for many years do take on a "rugged" appearance because of the excess of androgens that the polycystic ovaries produce.

It sounds like you have been dealt a poor hand in life. Some of the things you describe can be corrected or minimised but it would be expensive and I don't even know whether you desire to change.

Regarding your concern about what people think when they see you, there will be a spectrum of responses. Don't assume that everyone is looking at you and criticising you. Some people won't notice you, some will notice you and think nothing of it, some will notice you and think something hurtful and some will notice you and openly express something hurtful.

Ugly people -- regardless of sex -- have it rough in all areas of life unless they have some special talent and often the special talent will only give them a good career. Ugly people are discriminated against in all areas of life. You can get an eye opening popular-scientific account of the siginificance of physical attractives from Patzer's Looks: Why They Matter More Than you Ever Imagined. Patzer also has a more scholarly book on the same topic. If you have not been blessed with beauty -- as I haven't been -- then either of Patzer's books will be both enlightening and dispiriting. Formerly puzzling aspects of your life trajectory will start to make sense and you will get a more accurate perspective of how the social world works.

Looks matter more than you ever imagined

Read this book, it's excellent:

Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined https://www.amazon.com/dp/0814480543/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_f8dZzb4Z5R02C

>To find out how nurses distribute care among newborn babies with different levels of PA [physical attractiveness], researchers [...] studied the responses of eighty-five nursing students [...]. The researchers also sought to find out if nursing students' perceptions of infant attractiveness were affected by the wealth and social status of a baby’s parents, by the infant’s gender and health at birth, and by the student’s individual experience in the nursing field. After being shown photos of infants coded for physical attractiveness, the nursing students were asked to indicate how much time during a normal eight-hour shift they would spend with the infant in the photo and then with each of two other infants who were not described at all.

>The results: Nurses perceived an infant’s PA in relation to its gender and its health at birth. [...] The nursing students deemed smaller girl infants the most attractive, while the opposite was true for boy infants: The bulkiest and most muscular were perceived as more attractive and healthy. [...]

>[...] The [...] nursing students [...] said that they would spend more time with a normal-health-at-birth infant (median time: 250.67 minutes) than with a low-health-at-birth infant (median time: 197.50 minutes).

>Within minutes of birth, infants in most U.S. hospitals are subjected to a clinical assessment of their heart rate, muscle tone, respiratory effort, color, and reflex responsiveness. The results, collectively, are called the "Apgar" score. Crowder and Hunter [the researchers] concluded from their findings that infants with low health at birth and a low Apgar score got less nursing attention and nurturing time than those with normal health at birth and a normal Apgar score. They suspected that additional nurturing bestowed by nurses on the more physically attractive infants led to increased rates of weight gain, which resulted in shorter hospital stays. "Perhaps if 'at-risk' infants received a more nurturing environment, they would also have an increased rate of weight gain and a decreased length of time in the hospital," wrote the researchers.

This is a heavily shortened passage from the book Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined (which every incel should read) that shows you will be treated worse as an ugly person from t=0.

Beautiful people have fewer external incentives to be kind, or intelligent, relative to people who do not have the advantage of being attractive. To what degree this lowered incentive actually actually effects how kind someone is up to speculation, and would depend on a lot of other factors.

Here are some books that cite studies on the matter:

Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined by Patzer


Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty by
Nancy Etcoff

The Power and Paradox of Physical Attractiveness by Patzer

The third is basically a textbook academic version of the first. I've only finished the first one, and basically it's worse, and only slightly more complicated than you probably think. These are not comforting books, but they will make you see how much beauty matters, and accept that this fact will never change. And hopefully, encourage the people who read it to be more aware of this bias so we can consciously fight it.

But we do. Don't believe me? Read this book if you don't believe me: http://www.amazon.com/2007-Fall-list-Matter-Imagined/dp/0814480543/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1302457539&sr=8-1

Pure, hard science.