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> When I see bizarre, broad generalizations being made about women

When you run into something like this you should always try to think about what the other person's life experience might be that leads them to their beliefs.

For example: Let's say you meet a man, or a teen, who tells you "women don't like sex". A man who thinks this may have a life experience of growing up both unattractive and being surrounded by male friends & family who are also unattractive. In his life experience, as well as those he is close to, women will express little to no sexual desire in front of them. Sometimes women will do this as a self-defense measure against catching the attention of men they are not interested in. Other times this man's life experience will be constrained because he's never been around when women meet attractive men. This can happen because we all live in our own social bubbles and often don't pay much attention to others outside of our bubbles.

An unattractive man who lives his life around other unattractive men may spend his lifetime never seeing the "I want you" look in a woman's eyes. If he never sees that look, weather at himself or those around him, he may not believe it exists.

Back in the days we all lived in small towns you may have an entire town of unattractive men who have never seen women expressing sexual desire. With our more mobile country and social media it's becoming harder to be so sheltered, but it still seems to happen from time to time. I think it probably is more common among teens because they tend to be more self-focused.

>If someone, especially a women, wants to give you a little nudge in a different direction it might actually, maybe be worth considering.

If she's a lesbian who's been in relationships, than sure. But if you've never had the experience of seducing another woman then any advice is dubious at best. Most people lack a good amount of self-awareness so to believe that women know what they want or what they respond to is just incorrect. Even the NYT knows that women don't know themselves:

>All was different with the women. No matter what their self-proclaimed sexual orientation, they showed, on the whole, strong and swift genital arousal when the screen offered men with men, women with women and women with men. They responded objectively much more to the exercising woman than to the strolling man, and their blood flow rose quickly — and markedly, though to a lesser degree than during all the human scenes except the footage of the ambling, strapping man — as they watched the apes. And with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person. The readings from the plethysmograph and the keypad weren’t in much accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women reported less excitement than their vaginas indicated; watching gay men, they reported a great deal less; and viewing heterosexual intercourse, they reported much more. Among the lesbian volunteers, the two readings converged when women appeared on the screen. But when the films featured only men, the lesbians reported less engagement than the plethysmograph recorded. Whether straight or gay, the women claimed almost no arousal whatsoever while staring at the bonobos.

One woman learned the difference between men & women when she went undercover as man and she wrote a great book about her experience. Here is an interview with her.

Write a story about who you are now and who you will be in five years. Then send it to me. Eckhart Tolle slept on park benches for two years and said he was in a state of "ecstasy." Hugh Heffner changed the way we think about sex (think about it...he did. If you are female, he made it easier for you to be sexual, because he made men comfortable with their sexual urges. If you think that sex is gross and is the source of societal ills, you are right...but that ain't Heffner's fault). Anyway, the actual founder of the Playboy empire is reviled by a lot of the world's population. You think he's happy.
Calling something "nonsense" is just a judgment. How familiar are you with Buddhism. This. If you have a smartphone, you can get the audiobook version of this book for free by downloading an ap called "Hoopla."
I have a friend who lives in your city. He told me that you are welcome to hang out with him. Actually, this was his reply. Let me know if you want his contact info.
I'd love to listen to your music. I'd love it more if you'd stop neing so hard on yourself. Obviously, I would like you to consider the options I gave you here. That's what I do...and, yes, I know it's overbearing. My wife calls it "giving people homework." If you decide not to do the things I have siggested, please remind yourself that my plans for you are unrealistic. It's fine if you don't want to read something you probably don't, and meeting strangers is scary (but this guy is a good friend of mine and I can vouch for him). One day you will decide to be happy. Until then, please don't get down on yourself for behaving in ways that might seem dysfunctional, but are completely normal.
Please add me as a friend on your homepage. I'd like to hear about your progress, even if it's just setbacks in the near and present future.

I strongly, strongly recommend buying this book. Over 10 weeks, for 3x5 (3 sets, 5 reps), my bench press has gone from 85 lb to 160 lb, squat from 105 lb to 255, and deadlift from 105 lb to 255. All thanks to this book. I'm still making pretty rapid gains too. Luckily, this is a new edition of Starting Strength that was released just a couple weeks ago.


http://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-3rd-Mark-Rippetoe/dp/0982522738/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1322631426&sr=8-2


Also, you'll probably want this one too.


http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Programming-Strength-Training-Rippetoe/dp/0982522703/ref=pd_sim_b_2


And finally, an interesting and informative article on barbell training and general fitness in Men's Journal. Skip to page 4 if the article gets boring.


http://www.mensjournal.com/everything-you-know-about-fitness-is-a-lie


Good luck!

OP, I definitely know that feel and then some. I would suggest however to keep practicing on girls while you're training. Just like many people did not naturally grow up to be in exceptional physical shape, many people did not naturally grow up to be exceptionally socially competent. However, a person can train to improve in both.

Find books/ebooks/PDFs on how to talk to people, on how to 'be an alpha male', on how to talk to women. Subscribe to /r/seddit, r/askseddit, /r/faimprovement, and maybe /r/socialskills. There's tons of resources on the internet now for people like us.

A side bonus of reading up on seduction and everything is that over time it helps with your general attitude and confidence with people. Whatever confidence you develop in merely talking to attractive people of the opposite gender will carry over into other areas of your life.

So a few key things that have helped me immensely:

• Conversation Threading: http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ovaar/since_seductionreview_went_down_i_thought_id/
  
  
• Fix your posture:
  http://postmasculine.com/posture
  You don't actually have to do exercises to fix your posture if it's problematic, just practice standing up and walking straight and whatever exercises you do should help with it.
  
  
• Increase your control on your voice and how you speak: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/areqm/reddit_how_can_i_improve_my_speaking_voice/
  What helped me the most was paying attention to the speed that I speak at.
  
  
• Find something to be passionate about. Find a skill to be good at. Oftentimes you can naturally bring this up in conversation with women or even demonstrate for them.
  
  
• You don't have to use this book specifically, but I felt it helped me out: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X It's a blunt guide to starting and sustaining conversations with people and how your body language can help.
  
  Edit: Also, check out /r/NoFap. I'm not going to claim that miracles will happen, but it definitely has helped me and a couple hundred other people on that subreddit.
  
  One more thing, everything above can apply regardless of gender.

Thanks for tracking the post down. My seddit issues are as per what I wrote. I have a real love/hate relationship with it. On the one hand, the reasoning behind each and every tactic and move is solid and makes absolute sense. On the other hand, it's 'pickup'. The aim is to F-close, ideally with as many HBs as your genitalia can penetrate. And then there's the fact that it's called F-close in the first place, or K-close, or number closing HBs. It's inane, not to mention it shows nothing for the target - and yes, as you know women are "targets".
On top of all that, I've met guys - the enemy - who never needed these tactics as they're sleazy fuckhounds who've intuitively lived that shit from day one. I'm aware that makes me bitter, jealous and more than a little angry (Nice guy's Douche envy). There is something I can do about that, but I hate the thought of 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' It's as if a core part of being me will die if I start "entering sets" and "isolating targets".
BUT I'm reading material. Thanks for those links. I'm going through them now, and on Saturday I bought Feeling Good, the book recommended in those beginner tutorials. Already I can tell it's going to be a huge boost to my self-esteem and well being, and it's an interesting side to the Seduction sub that you're encouraged to be the most positive and confident you you can be. I like that. It's important.
Out of interest, what is the FA post that shocked you? I've been following the posts here and tbh my heart bleeds for them. I'm genuinely concerned as everyone seems deep in the throes of depression and loneliness. I was the same in my late teens and all of my twenties and while this is a fantastic community on one level, it seems, as you say, a circlejerk. The potential to get mired in lonely quicksand here is enormous.
But what's with you and all your questions? You seem to have similar concerns - or are you playing devil's advocate?

I do. But, reading Susan Cain's "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," helped me to come to a place of acceptance towards my introversion.



I don't think that just because you're an introvert means that you can't have friends or girlfriends, though. It will most likely be fewer than extroverts, but, at least for me, I would be perfectly happy with one or two friends, and one or two...just kidding... I only need one boyfriend :)

Me too!

Also "how to win friends and influence people"

edit: oh wait. I got confused. I thought the book on the screenshot was how to talk to anyone, I didn't realize it was how to win friends and influence people.

anyway I have both books

looks for said suggestions in vain Please feel free to share :-).

Just finished No More Mr. Nice Guy, (about "Nice Guy Syndrome", not becoming a jerk). Currently reading How to Talk to Anybody, and then I think The Game is next on my list.

Okay understood especially if she seemed to be chasing something for the wrong reasons. The Carl Hart book and his podcast appearances definitely (check the Joe Rogan ones) provide an alternative perspective on drugs (including the comparison with the damage of alcohol) thats worth consideration. Looking back I wish I would have been a lot more open minded in high school as I would have probably had a bit more of a positive experience overall (zero social life lol).

Micheal Pollan is worth a check as well https://smile.amazon.com/Change-Your-Mind-Consciousness-Transcendence-ebook/dp/B076GPJXWZ. His Joe Rogan podcast was pretty informative too.

You’re the man OP!!

Really this is just what a bunch of guys do if they want a girlfriend. There’s actually an entire subreddit called r/seduction that just focuses on talking to and asking out women.

There’s also a very famous book called Models that the subreddit basically draws from too.

This is a HUGE success story whether she liked you or not. You took a moment and put yourself out there which 99% of the men here would never do.

Congrats!

From what I've heard (59 seconds) that is the way to go, basically when talking to an eventual mate it's good to bring up weird stuff. Then you can quickly tell if you connect, or something like that.
Hope that helps.

Well, at least you have a lot going for you. You're in a far better position than most people here and have put a lot of work in to get there. Good luck, OP, you'll make it eventually. Just like it took time to get to where you are in other aspects of life, this will take some time and work as well.

If you haven't already and want a recommendation for something to read, I highly recommend this. It may give the wrong impression of being "mainstream" (Yes, the common person has terrible taste and standards.) or, ah, lower quality/shallow, but it's not, it really is filled with bloody brilliant observations and advice: http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X

You could also look into oxytocin therapy or try an anxiolytic (etizolam is still legal and unregulated, very good) to get you over the initial phase. The anti-drug position is complete nonsense, they're valuable tools. "Mind over matter", the mind stems from matter.

I recommend you read this book:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062457713/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_q2OOBbCWPWEER

(You can get the PDF from b-ok)

Especially Chapter 5.

Good luck mate.

Read this, this and this. Hope it helps :)

Well, that's the part where you say something like "hey, we should hang out sometime, maybe get coffee/dinner".

Try reading a book about connecting with people and making conversations like these:
http://www.amazon.com/Reaching-Out-Interpersonal-Effectiveness-Self-Actualization/dp/0205578640/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1322092173&sr=8-3

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Anyone-Success-Relationships/dp/007141858X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1322092232&sr=1-1

That's why Preseli is right. You have the complete wrong idea about seduction.

>I was a perfect gentleman on the date.

You're doing it wrong. Was there any touching? Any teasing? Did you give her backhanded compliments? Being a gentleman makes her think you aren't interested. An interested guy is polite, but clear on what he wants. Go to r/seduction or read The Game.

I was this guy. I'd go miles out of my way to help friends while making it seem like it was no big deal. Then I'd suffer pangs of despair when they weren't there for me when I needed help. This was rather depressing, on top of being FA on the romantic front.

Understand that most people assume that you don't have anything important to do when you're helping them and that you will speak up if you can't fit them in your schedule. Learning to say no will be hard at first and make them resent you initially, but your mental well being depends on it.

This book helped me a lot. Read it if you can.

A barbell (but not a threaded one), squat rack, bench, pullup bar and dumbbells or kettlebells - that's basically all you'll ever need. It's not complicated machinery so it's safe to buy used stuff. Just make sure none of the elements are bent and the whole thing doesn't wobble.

If you need some tips on how to lift, get this book or google some video tutorials by Mark Rippetoe.

I get what you are saying. To some degree, you have to put the past behind you and choose to not be bitter and angry.

The thing is you are judging people here. You are saying the easy way out is to be unhappy. I would never say that to someone suffering.

There is nothing wrong with what you said, if you just replaced the we with I and the you with I.

I feel like everyone needs a safe place to express themself without someone saying your expression of sadness is the easy way out.

So speak for yourself and what you are trying to do; but don't lump everyone with you. Especially in a general post.

If you want to follow through with your cognitive behavioural therapy; you may want to read this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1411156577&sr=1-1&keywords=feeling+good+david+burns

book to read

Notice that the boyfriend pillow is often bought alongside the girlfriend pillow. Put them together, and you have a half man/half woman pillow to suit all your foreveralone needs.

https://www.amazon.com/Girlfriend-Body-Pillow-Pink-Relationship/dp/B002YVFSSW ???

Try this book out. http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty/dp/1463750358/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371316971&sr=8-1&keywords=models+mark+manson

http://www.amazon.com/The-Antidote-Happiness-Positive-Thinking/dp/0865478015

The way to overcome it is not the positive thinking mumbo jumbo that is over adviced. When you aren't wired like that it will only make you feel more miserable. A good book on how to not let your pessismism/negativity hold you back is The Antidote.

He describes it here www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOJL7WkaadY
The book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Antidote-Happiness-Positive-Thinking/dp/0865478015

I'm scrawny as shit, and I go to one of the big gym chains. Yeah, there are some stacked people there, but everyone focuses on themselves. Never seen anyone pay attention to skinny people... or fat people for that matter.

If you want to learn some basic lifts, get the Starting Strength book, or use the similar Stronglifts 5x5 workout. Or hell, just start by trying out some machines.

I am extremely introverted and hate extroverts. I have tried to befriend people I pegged as introverts in the past, but was rejected. I have tried to befriend people I pegged as extroverts in the past, but was rejected. Now I've given up. But I still hate extroverts; they're so...loud.

A good book OP: http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153