Reddit reviews Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them

Check out The Explosive Child and the associated Lives in the Balance website. The Collaborative and Proactive Solutions model is designed for extraordinarily difficult children (though it works for anyone), and focuses on helping you and your son identify his difficulties so that you can create specific solutions to specific problems, rather than relying on reward/punishment systems - which as you say aren’t working, because they don’t actually address the underlying difficulties. The model is well researched and has been demonstrated very effective for difficult kids.

Don’t expect instant results (your kid has a lot of difficulties and they’re not going away overnight), but if you work at it two or three problems at a time you will see improvement. If you like the method and don’t find your son’s psychiatrist to be particularly effective, here is a list of some trained specifically in the CPS process. The Lives in the Balance website also contains links to helpful Facebook groups, training videos, and Q&A radio shows run by Dr. Greene.

There is also a version for schools - Lost at School - that his teachers might be interested in if you find it effective at home. I’ll also suggest you take a look at this article about CPS as used in schools and other institutions.

(Edit: If you want to talk to Dr Greene directly, the next radio show will be Tuesday, October 3 at 11 am eastern; call-in and listening info here. This gives you a month to learn the process and give it a try. You can write in using the contact form, but he gets a lot of mail and callers get priority.)

I'm having a very similar experience with both my emotional state and the classroom environment.

Most people wouldn't say this, but perhaps your instincts about discipline/punishment are worth listening to. In the short term, for the sake of your sanity, you may need to set them aside, because in my experience, they don't lead to quick fixes, and as you said, a structured environment is important for your students. However, I would posit that structure does not REQUIRE punishment, though that's certainly one way to get there.

I highly recommend these two books: Beyond Discipline and Lost at School. I think you would find them quite validating. Even if you (or any others reading this) are not willing to entirely give up punishment, I believe there is ample evidence out there that there is another way.

Feel free to message me if you are interested in discussing. This is an issue I feel very deeply about, even if I am currently not skilled enough to create the kind of environment I'd like to see.

Best of luck with the rest of your school year!

[Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them] (https://www.amazon.com/Lost-School-Behavioral-Challenges-Falling/dp/1501101498). I'm only 40 pages in, but it has already totally change my perception of my more behaviorally challenging students. Super interesting, and gives great ideas that can actually be implemented.