Reddit reviews Mental Traps: The Overthinker's Guide to a Happier Life

Hi there fellow overthinker,

I have a book recommendation for you. Mental Traps: The Overthinkers Guide to a Happier Life by André Kukla. It's book about unhealthy and unproductive thinking patterns that are common amongst overthinkers. It can be a bit dry at times, given that it is written by a professor who works in both the philosophy and psychology departments at his university. That being said, the book is written in plain enough English and provides actionable advice on how to stop faulty thinking patterns such as those you're experiencing. I fell on this book a little over a decade ago and it was a game changer.

I strongly recommend that you read the entire book (it's not that long) but you'll want to particularly focus on the chapters about the traps of "Formulation" and "Regulation". Those two traps are about the attitudes we adopt towards things that don't really affect us, how we make decisions about events that are just as well left to chance, or how we purposelessly keep a detailed description of what is happening in our lives. I think those two chapters will help you the most because you're essentially overthinking the whole spectrum of your decisions (from tiny to major life decisions) and concerning yourself with the "butterfly effect" of anything that happens to you (whether by your own hand / design or pure chance).

Kukla will cover the "mental traps" part better than I ever could but here is my own personal advice. Coming from someone who has thought and read a lot about being productive and on how to lead the best possible life: what you should focus on is to know yourself as well as possible (so do exercises and seek experiences to get to know yourself really well) and then align your life goals and objectives with your personal values. On a daily basis, your mind should ideally simply be focused on what's in front of you (i.e. being "present" or "mindful") in order to keep mental traps at bay and ensure that you're maintaining the habits that will lead you towards a life that is aligned with your values. If you do this, along the way, you'll achieve important objectives and major goals you dream about. Major life decisions (Which college should I go to? Should I get married to this person? Should I have kids?) should indeed be given lots of time and thoroughly examined but once you make a decision - during your own personal "strategic thinking time" sessions - you shouldn't second guess yourself. Smaller questions & decisions , such as "what effect will be had if I leave the house 1-2 minutes late?" are not worth thinking about in terms of how they will affect your overall life; random events and forces entirely out of your control will have as much, if not more, effect on your life trajectory than those small decisions.

Be present (to both enjoy life and get things done efficiently) and make decisions that allow you to act in a manner that exemplifies your personal values (in order to strive towards your own potential). Have a "bias for action" rather than a bias for constant planning and second guessing.

Mental Traps by Andre Kukla. He has an interesting way of looking at thought patterns, and his argument against guilt and shame really made sense to me (I was a chronic self-guilter).