Reddit reviews Miss Manners' Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say
We found 2 Reddit comments about Miss Manners' Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Don't answer the question. You don't owe them an answer just because they ask it. If you answer it, you're training those rude people that it's OK for them to ask you rude questions.
Right now, you're dreading part of what you'd like to be a good family time. If you refuse to be done in by their rudeness, then you need not dread any more in the future.
Getting a girlfriend isn't going to solve the problem, because then they'll ask when you're getting married, and then after that they'll ask when you're going to have a baby and then after that they'll ask when you're going to have another one, because these people don't understand that what they're asking is none of their damn business.
Some people suggest cutesy non-answers like your "I guess I haven't met the right gal yet" or even "I haven't found anyone as nice as you, Aunt Marge", but I don't think that's best. Those invite further discussion of the topic. If you don't want to talk about it, then shut it down unambiguously.
Here are some suggestions:
You can let those responses lie there and let the silence do the talking, or you can deflect to another topic as you have in the past.
Again, you don't owe these people an answer. If they respond with arguments, then repeat your answer.
"So why aren't you with a girl?" "I'm sorry, but that's personal." "Aw come on, we're all family here, do you have your eye on someone?" "I'm sorry, but that's personal." "It's no big deal, I'm just wondering, did you have a bad breakup or something?" "I'm sorry, but that's personal."
Repeat it until they get it. It might be awkward for a minute, but the long-term dividends are fantastic.
For more about this sort of dealing with rude nosey people, I highly recommend this book: https://www.amazon.com/Miss-Manners-Basic-Training-Right/dp/0609600516
This is also easily googleable