Reddit reviews Naming the Child: Hope-Filled Reflections on Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Death

I'm sorry to hear about your friend's loss.

I remember seeing a note recently that either the OCA or the Assembly of Bishops was discussing appropriate pastoral responses and perhaps a service for this. However, at the moment, there really isn't much - there are some existing prayers that are actually horrible, a friend of mine found something in some old Romanian servicebook (so old IIRC that it was written in Slavonic letters), but generally what's done is simply the trisagion service and then burial. The baby is, of course, a "holy innocent".

A matushka I know wrote a book about this, but it's a broader perspective than just "Orthodox": http://www.amazon.com/Naming-Child-Hope-Filled-Reflections-Miscarriage/dp/1557255857/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1427667185&sr=8-1&keywords=naming+the+child

I am so sorry for your loss. Yes, of course you can name your child. Of course you love your baby. There's no one right way to honor them, there are lots of right ways, and you don't have to find the perfect thing right this second. You can carry the child's memory with you always, and honor the child throughout your life. Some people plant trees, others get tattoos or wear memorial jewelry, others do other things.

I don't know if you're religious, but we're Orthodox Christian. At our little one's burial, one of the Bible readings was 1 Corinthians 15:39-41. Every star has its own glory. Every one counts.

I really liked this book, if you're the sort who likes to read about others' experiences. I found it helpful.

We buried our little one in a church cemetery, where the priest's family had experienced miscarriage. I made her a Christmas ornament, because we have ornaments for every important thing that happens. Eventually we named her Maria Arsenia, and I'll put her name on the little memorial wall we have at church. We will give a donation in her memory to help living children every mother's day and father's day. My husband is going to make a cross for her grave, and we visit to say ordinary daily family prayers there sometimes. She'll be with us, loved, always.

Someone told me once that a relationship doesn't end when one person dies. They were talking about an adult, that how they relate to the person changes through the years. But in the last few months I've found it to be true of my baby, too. I talk to her all the time. The raw grief is fading, but the love isn't. Hang in there. It's going to be very tough for a while, and you're going to need a lot of rest as you physically recover. Be very kind to yourself.