Reddit reviews No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones
We found 6 Reddit comments about No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons around Our Gay Loved Ones. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
I am so sorry that you are placed into this situation by your family, but you have to live an authentic life true to yourself if you wish to be happy. There is not enough money in the world to make doing otherwise worth it.
I recommend reading Carol Lynn Pearson's No More Goodbyes
>When it comes to gay issues, most Mormons have only the muddiest understanding of what life is like for gay people or about the doctrinal reasons their LDS leaders say and do the things they do. In fact, most Mormons have only the muddiest understanding about what their church leaders are really saying about homosexuality. The message of understanding and compassion has not trickled down. And this is dangerous, because most LDS children who grow up to be gay are born and raised in families that feel they must choose between accepting and supporting their child and staying with the church that defines their lives.
This is why EVERY member of the LDS church needs to read Carol Lynn Pearson's books, Goodbye I Love You and No More Goodbyes. These are books which are written by a faithful mormon, to other faithful mormons, so they can be received without challenging a mormon too hard or offending them too deeply. But they also are the perfect education on what homosexuality really is. The first book is the story of her homosexual husband and their failed and tragic marriage. The second book is all the stories of homosexual people who have come to her and told her their story since the first book was published. You can't read these books without leaving ignorance and prejudice behind. It should be required reading for every single church member.
In fact...any of you who has a mormon on your christmas giving list, I would HIGHLY suggest giving these books for christmas.
Do your daughter a HUGE favor and order [this] (http://www.amazon.com/No-More-Goodbyes-Circling-Wagons/dp/0963885243) book. Read it, have your wife read it (maybe twice), and share it with your daughter. It changed how my TBM parents approached my partner and I, entirely.
I'm floored at how accurately you have described me and my feelings.
> As a gay mormon, Elder Oak's talk makes me feel that living life is impossible. I really do want to get married and have a family, but it's impossible. Marrying a woman is my idea of a nightmare, marrying a man won't be acceptable to God, my family, and society. I feel I'm painted into a corner.
That sounds exactly like me a few years ago. Exactly. Except that I hadn't told anybody else at that point; it's the sort of thing I would only tell myself via an inner monologue. Being in the closet is a very, very lonely feeling, and so confusing.
> I feel like there is a gaping hole in the plan of salvation for those who are LGTB.
This is exactly how I have felt, and how I feel now. It makes me feel like the church is treating me as second class. As unimportant. "Oh, just shoehorn yourself into this plan that caters to straight people." It doesn't work like that. Feelings of love are the most profound thing; if anything is of God, it's love. How can my deepest, most profound God-given feelings possibly be wrong?
----
I urge you to learn more about the painful intersection of Mormonism and homosexuality. I highly recommend:
North Star was mentioned. Evergreen is a similar organization, which I believe has more official church support than North Star. While those two are focused on dealing with homosexuality within the context of being an active member of the church, another group called Affirmation is more focused on LGBT people accepting themselves first, and letting their church interactions come after that. I have little experience with any of these three groups so can neither recommend nor caution against any of them.
> Carol Lynn Pearson
I was going to suggest another book by her - No More Goodbyes: Circling the Wagons Around Our Gay Loved Ones
https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Goodbyes-Circling-Wagons/dp/0963885243/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8
Grab a new or used version of the book "No More Goodbyes" by Carol Lyn Pearson. Read it before you come out to the family (it's a quick read) and then handed off to your parents to chew on. When I told my parents about my better half (they already knew I was gay), I handed this book to my mom and told her she wasn't invited to meet him until she read the book. In my experience, it isn't threatening for TBMs to read this book because it is written by a very well know Mormon women who made her reputation with Relief Society women in the 80's with LDS poetry. She also penned the primary song "I'll Walk With You" which was secretly about her experience with ostracized members of the LGBT community like her ex-husband.
Edit: forgot to mention that you can also buy digital copies of this book and send then to their e-readers. My mom read a physical copy but I noticed that she would hide the cover because it had the word "gay" on it. I realized that E-readers are more low key and sent it to my dad and grandparents in that format.