Reddit reviews NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children

Better book, more citations, more research, less anecdotes.

The author expanded this into NurtureShock which I can highly recommend. It's a primer on evidence-based parenting.

Read the 10th chapter of NurtureShock for good information on language development. From that, two things babies need to learn language (there's a lot more but these are relevant):

1. They need to see a person talking. Voice-overs are useless; they do absolutely nothing.
   
   
2. They need to be responded to.
   
   At the very least, Baby Einstein is a waste of money. Might as well just turn the TV to a random channel.
   
   Do your babies not entertain themselves for a few minutes at a time?

> Teachers and parents may spot for signs to indicate that a child is gifted and it is often spotted at an early age in preschool

Research has shown that you "cant" spot gifted kids at early ages. Instead they are misidentified since they experience a cognitive growth before their peers. This is classic extrapolation and all the teachers that fall for this should have their grades in any statistics class changed to an "F" and if required, any degrees revoked.

Now, as a child that was selected as "gifted" I actually came to resent the designation. When your young adults are soooo impressed. As you get older your parents get mad at you for acting like a dumb-ass kid. "We expected something dumb like that from your brother, you are gifted and should have known better." WTF! Then again, maybe they were right since I did go to a top tier university and majored in a pretty tough subject (which I think is less about intelligence and more about hard work). Then again if I had been 10 years younger its likely they would have drugged me up with ADHD meds.

The following book has a section about failures in early childhood identification.

http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1241818816&sr=8-1

I'm reading a book called Nurtureshock right now (now that I'm a parent) that begins with a chapter that goes a long way to explaining this phenomenon. Citing several studies, they say that kids who are praised for being innately smart suffer many problems in comparison to those who are praised for working hard. It is especially problematic for trying something you aren't naturally good at (which after a certain point is almost everything). If you were praised for being smart, you don't want to take the chance of failing at the new thing and proving that it was all a big mistake and you're not actually smart at all. On the other hand, if you were praised for being hard-working, trying to learn new things with the inevitable failings only proves that the people who praised you were right and you continue to be hard-working.

BTW, the best book I've read so far:
http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122

NurtureShock is less about raising a newborn as it is overall child development. If they like analytical books with studies behind what they say, it is a good read.

http://www.amazon.ca/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122

I'm in the same boat as you, so I don't have any experience, but I do have the same concerns. In the research I've done it seems there are pros and cons to both having siblings, and being an only child. There is a good chapter in book NurtureShock about the issue.

One example in the book is the idea that children with siblings develop better social skills. The evidence suggests that siblings do help each other develop some good social skills, But they can also develop many bad social skills (because the little sister will still be around tomorrow even if big brother is mean today). It take only children longer to develop their good social skills, but they tend to develop fewer bad social skills (because if they are not nice to the other kid on the playground, she'll just go play with some other kid).

Basically, any factor they tried to objectively measure turned out to be a wash.

For more on this, check Po Bronson's EXCELLENT new book

NurtureShock: New Thinking about Children

Parenting From the Inside Out

The Whole-Brained Child

1,000,001 upvotes for you.

A good book related to raising children that includes the info from the first link: Nurtureshock (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0446504122) and other info based on research; not anecdotes.

(Typing on my phone)

Check out NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children where they devote the whole first chapter to this subject. It's a fascinating read, especially for new parents.

They go into this "chance of getting away with it" in Nurture Shock

>It is just as possible (if not more possible) that the children formed their opinions on life experiences.

That article is an excerpt from a book that contains more material and citations about that topic. If you're interested in the background of the study, it might be worth picking up the book or skimming through the Amazon "Click to Look Inside".

> All I'm proposing is that we treat impolite children like impolite children

Interesting that you are linking the lack of a "thank you" to being impolite.

>We NEVER hire someone based on race, religion, creed, gender, etc. However, we DO look for people that add diversity AND have the qualifications

Good to hear, because that is exactly how affirmative action programs in the USA are supposed to work.

>The problem comes when companies say "we need to hire a black guy"

Than that company is breaking the law, same as if they say "we don't want to hire that guy with the black-sounding name."

http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122

this one! http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504122

there's a chapter in there about it

I recommend checking out the book 'Nurture Shock'