Reddit reviews One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding

Can commiserate about mom being overbearing.

My advice to you (based on your description of your mom maybe this isn't a good idea—but it's what I wish I had done about six months ago) is to have a "boundaries" conversation with your mother. Tell her that you appreciate her input, but that you are going to be making final decisions on things, and she's going to have to deal with it. Nicer than that, but you know. Something along the lines of "all you want is for me to happy, right? Okay, well, I will be much happier if you let me make my own decisions like an adult."

It also might be worth mentioning that weddings are just DIFFERENT now than they were whenever she got married. Trends, and "traditions" come and go, but none of it really MATTERS other than what you want to do, as long as you can afford it.

I also recommend reading A Practical Wedding, and for further reading, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. These books cover the topics of how when people talk about wedding "traditions", they're really only talking about things that have happened specifically in the Western world, mostly in the last 50 years. Brides didn't even wear white until about 100 years ago. The most historically "traditional" wedding you could have would be in the best dress you already own, with some flowers picked from your front garden, and it would take place in your living room.

I can't tell you how many times my mom pulled the "tradition" card during my planning and I called bullshit. It's liberating—try it!

P.S. Sorry for the wall of text...got carried away.

Read this.