Reddit reviews Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World

Get the book Queen Bees and Wannabees.

It will really help you. And then you will be able to help her.

I almost never do a 'book' answer to these types of questions, but i really must recommend this one.

Perhaps you could [read the non-fiction book] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0307454444/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_XVf8BbKESD2WM) Mean Girls is based on.

I haven't read it yet, but Mean Girls is based on a book: Queen Bees and Wannabes

I've heard good things about the book. Maybe it could be helpful to her?

I also liked Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World. There are quite a few helpful books in the "how to parent tween/teen girls" genre, the only challenge for me is filtering out those that are explicitly Christian...every one of those I've read was unbearably sexist, traditional, and treated girls as precious little flowers that must be protected from themselves. That's just not the world I want my kids to live in, so you have to read lots of reviews or skim copies in the library to make sure the overall orientation of the book is consistent with your family's core values and perspectives on things like gender roles, sexuality, etc.

Queen Bees and Wannabes

Queen Bees and Wannabes - The book "Mean Girls" was inspired by. I really wish it had existed when I was in school. Helpful for both young adults and their parents.

Girl, Interrupted isn't a self-help book, but it helped me to deal with/accept mental illness.

I grew up mostly overseas, and didn't go to school in the US until I was around 10, so I understand what you are going through.

As a boy, it was less about teasing and more about getting beaten up all the time. I didn't know how or why to fight, so even the girls beat me up. My parents took the approach that I did something to deserve the abuse.

I think the 2 most important things to read as soon as possible are:

Why Nerds Are Unpopular, an essay about what the view at the bottom of the American high school popularity range is like.

Queen Bees and Wannabes. This book is aimed at helping parents decode what their daughters are going through at about your age. Since you've lived so much overseas, American children are going to be as alien to you as they are to their own parents. Perhaps your local library has a copy. This book has a number of recommended movies and books in the back that may help.

Violence and abuse are so pervasive in American culture that they are as invisible to the participants as water is to fish.

Two other essays by Paul Graham that might be helpful are:
http://www.paulgraham.com/say.html
http://www.paulgraham.com/lies.html

I have said this before on this subreddit, but it bears repeating: listen to her. The moments she wants to communicate with you will become fewer and further between, so when she does, drop what you're doing and listen.

Don't judge, don't offer unasked-for advice, and no matter how much you want to, resist the urge to "fix" her problems for her. "Let me tell you what you should do..." Etc. Just listen. Make the occasional comment like, "That sounds really tough" or "That must have been frustrating for you" or "I'm sorry you had to go through that, honey."

Believe me, her knowing that you are listening, that you care enough to sympathise? Worth its weight in gold.

If you really feel like committing, there's a book called Queen Bees and Wannabes that delves deeply into girl world psyche. Tina Fey used it to write Mean Girls, but comedy aside, it's pretty spot on, if a little dated now.

I would recommend that you try Rosalind Wiseman's first book on raising adolescents, Queen Bees and Wannabees. Which I haven't read, because mine are both boys. However I've recently read her boy oriented book, Masterminds and Wingmen, and it has been the most insightful thing I've found for this stage. http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-Boyfriends-Realities/dp/0307454444/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1427766012&sr=8-2&keywords=masterminds+and+wingmen+by+rosalind+wiseman

http://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-Boyfriends-Realities/dp/0307454444

Rosalind Wiseman's book is super helpful. It's what Mean Girls was (loosely) based on.

:) It's Queen Bee, just FYI
https://www.amazon.com/Queen-Bees-Wannabes-Boyfriends-Realities/dp/0307454444

This is the book that Mean Girls was based on - a self-help book, of all things!