Reddit reviews Racism without Racists: Color-Blind Racism and the Persistence of Racial Inequality in America

I can't really help your internal qualms but I can suggest books that might help.

Sociology undergrad here. Went through a huge anti-racist-militant phase and now I'm still that but covert. The most crucial problem a lot of PoC have with racism is that they have no words or dictation to find out what exactly is bothering them. Racism is carefully crafted that way to be. It's pedantic, however, to argue whether or not that is purposefully done or not. We can acknowledge that it's a product of racism (the inability to have a dialogue about it).

THE BOOKS

Racism without Racists: Color-Blind Racism and the Persistence of Racial Inequality in America

• This will probably resonate the most with you because it's the more frequent amount of racism we experience. It's a different critique because instead of addressing the right's racism, it addresses the left's supposedly openness and diversity.
  
  The New Jim Crow
  
  
• This book was written by a lawyer who first completely dismissed the idea that there was still a racial caste system in the U.S. However, her research told her otherwise as she investigated the ways that the 5th amendment was violated on a federal level, how prison populations are used for manual labor at low pay that equates to a modern day-covert form of slavery, and how prison populations count as 2/3rds or 3/5ths a person for a state's population.
  
  Dog Whistle Politics: How Coded Racial Appeals Have Reinvented Racism and Wrecked the Middle Class
  
  
• This approaches racism in how it's affected and formed our modern day political institutions. It talks about how politicians use racism to convince white voters to vote against their own best interests.
  
  Ain't No Makin' It: Aspirations and Attainment in a Low-Income Neighborhood, 3rd Edition
  
  
• This book was written by a Catholic priest who followed two groups of poor income boys; one group was majority white and one group was majority black. It's both a academic and personal account of his observations on how these boys grew up over three decades. An incredible longitudinal study that is both objective and genuine.
  
  If you're serious about understanding race and ethnic relations, you'll read tese books. If you need any advice on starter chapters I have a few.

Well, here's a good resource on the science behind implicit biases:Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People. Notice that this isn't even critical theory, this is simply social science research demonstrating how otherwise good and moral people can inherit biases, racist/sexist/or what have you, without knowing they possess these biases.

Feminist critiques of video game culture take this kind of research for granted. It's something we've known about for a long time. We can then build off of that and point out what the gender biases in video game culture are. When a feminist criticises video game culture, she is not implying that video gamers by and large are all sexist pigs who think women should go back to the kitchen. Feminists are criticising the implicit biases that we don't even realize we have that portray women in sexist ways, sexist imagery we don't even recognize as sexist.
When the majority of PC gamers react to feminists, they react to the idea that feminists are calling them all sexist pigs. And this reaction stems from an ignorance of what feminists are actually saying. And when this kind of ignorance gets passed around in a circle jerk fashion like on this subreddit, you can probably start to understand why those of us who do read this stuff get so damn angered and venomous in our tone.

Another great resource is racism without racists. Same general idea. How many of us have inherited racist attitudes and values without ever even realizing it. And we can test for these racist attitudes with some rather sophisticated techniques available in the social sciences.

That's where I'm coming from. I apologize for my tone.

Thank you for your perspective! I wanted to recommend a book that you might find interesting as to the difficulties in engaging white people in discussions on race. I found it especially enlightening regarding the language used in such discussion: Racism without Racists: Colorblind Racism and the Persistence of Racial Inequality in the United States.

And here's a PDF I found (looking for the book link) that is a little bit of a preview to the material in the book by the same author: The Linguistics of Color Blind Racism

Edits: formatting, cutting down to size.

So you aren't open-minded about the idea that racial discrimination against people of color isn't comparable to racial discrimination against white people. Got it. Glad I didn't waste my time arguing. If you ever want to educate yourself, this is a good place to start.