Reddit reviews Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent Is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think

https://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2008/02/06/correlations-of-iq-with-income-and-wealth/

Being smarter is correlated to a higher income.

http://www.bc.edu/content/dam/files/schools/cas_sites/psych/pdf/critique_income_.pdf

"Consider that both school attainment (mean
number of years of schooling completed) and intelligence
are highly heritable, both heritability coefficients (h2s)
between .60 and .80"

https://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/046501867X

This is a good book that goes into depth on how many of our traits seem to be tied to our genetics.

It's also the fault of your genetics, for what it's worth:

http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/046501867X

(so say adoption and twin studies)

I thought that economist Bryan Caplan's book Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids was a pretty unique take on the issue, and very much relevant to the calculations you're trying to perform.

If you are interested in having children yourself, or already have children I have read a wonderful book combining the nature/nurture debate and parenting. "Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids." http://www.amazon.com/Selfish-Reasons-Have-More-Kids/dp/046501867X

It uses nothing but repeatable scientific studies to deliver the facts, and then draws some pretty unprecedented conclusions. Very educational.

This is the amazon page for a book written by an Economist discussing twin and adoption studies that suggest the genetic effect is much stronger than the effect of parenting style.

I don't have links to the actual studies, but you can read some little snippets from the author here, here, and here.

If you're interested in learning more, I recommend the book. I thought it was a great read. I found those links with just a few seconds googling as well, so I'm sure it wouldn't be too hard to find more.

>What people mean is that you might be able to be pressured into it anyway, and if so, of course you'll love your kids and do your best to be a good mom, even as you resent their very existence.

Speaking for myself, when I was in my teens and early 20s I couldn't imagine having kids; now that I'm a bit older, I realize that people who don't have kids merely go through life, accumulate a pile of baubles, and then die: very few of us have much long-term meaning beyond our children. As people age, I think they realize it more and more.

This isn't to argue that EVERYONE should automatically have kids, but kids are easier than many middle-class American parents believe. The book at the link is called Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids, and it might be worth reading.

As for the OP: The question is really, "Do you and/or your BF want kids in the next two years?" Since the answer is "No" ("The good thing is he wants to wait several years to even start thinking seriously about a family as we are both quite young"), keep dating him and don't worry about it. I also hate to say this, but there's a decent shot you'll break up for other reasons before the kids issue comes up.