Reddit reviews Small Unit Leadership: A Commonsense Approach

Small Unit Leadership: a common sense approach

Depending on country/state... you will probably want to document every time you confront him with these issues.

There's a book I really like that helps with employees called "Small Unit Leadership" - it helps to create basic rubrics for evaluates your team, how much training it might take to get them on the right path and what's expected of your time or another manager's time to get them that training.

emagdnim2100 has the right idea here. As a boot LT, your best asset are your senior NCOs, so its much more important to understand the way that they think and operate then anything else. This book is actually pretty good at identifying and explaining some of the different situations you will find yourself in.

http://www.amazon.com/Small-Unit-Leadership-Commonsense-Approach/dp/0891411739/ref=pd_sim_b_2

> at some point the follower has to respect the leader

No, they first must decide if they want to be a follower, then they follow someone that can lead them.

> I know leadership I was an infantry company commander

No, you know some leadership. You're used to Command Authority; Soldiers performed for you because they were obligated to or their lives quickly went to hell with little repercussion for you if any (Think article 15, UCMJ, etc.). You don't have that type of Power in a marriage, yet.

> In contrast the two orbiters (can guys have orbiters?) just eat up the directness and authority

I think you're mixing up Authority with something else...Frame. From FM 7-21.13:

• "Authority is the legitimate power of leaders to direct subordinates or to take action within the scope of their position. Military authority begins with the Constitution..."
  
  The women at the gym are reacting to your frame.
  
  One last reference, this time from AR 600-100:
  
  
• "The Army defines leadership as influencing people by providing purpose, direction, and motivation, while operating to accomplish the mission and improve the organization."
  
  This is easy to translate into family terms. Are you providing, operating, and improving the family?
  
  There are many similarities between small military units and families. You can't just fire a troop and you have to work with them regardless of their willingness, and skill. The same goes for a wife, and especially kids. Firing a wife takes about the same amount of paperwork as firing a troop but affects you significantly more. You have more tools at your disposal to 'motivate' a troop than you do to motivate your wife, however there is a lot of crossover on what can work, beginning with true ground level Leadership.
  
  If you haven't yet, I suggest reading Small Unit Leadership. Short book, easy read, maybe a few hours. It might help bridge the gap and put some extra tools in your toolbox.
  
  Edit: Instead of thinking like a Company Commander, shift to thinking like Team Leader dealing with an unruly Soldier.