Reddit reviews The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

I would point you to the book The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. In it are stories of dozens of trauma survivors who only late in life are able to recall the extent and details of the abuse they suffered.

That was exactly my wife's case. It was only in her late 40's when the mental and emotional wall her subconscious had built around her abuse broke and she was able to fully recall events that happened to her as a child. That is what the mind does: walls off pain and trauma. Some people's trauma comes back to them just after the passage of time, some after years of therapy, and for some after some life stressor. The last was what happened to my wife. She took a job where the director was a man of near her father's age. He turned out to be extremely manipulative, dishonest, and patronizing. It was proximity to that man, of him having power over her, that finally broke her subconscious barriers down. That in itself nearly killed her.

I know there is no "one size fits all" answer to trauma. I am saying that for many survivors, this is the pattern.

Hi. I read The Courage to Heal (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01097MG8C/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1) while doing
CBT and being able to process my emotions around childhood abuse with a trained professional helped me enormously.

Personally, at an early stage of processing the trauma, I wouldn't recommend talking about it in a group setting that isn't known to be 100% safe and supporting for trauma survivors, with a trained facilitator present. Yes, you might trigger others but just as important, you might not get what you need and feel retraumatized as a result.

I am so sorry this happened to you. That was not okay in any way, not ever. I am angry for you. You were absolutely raped by the boy—you said no, he ignored it, that is not consent by any stretch of the imagination. It sounds like you disassociated which is very common in sexual abuse survivors. I believe you. I hear you. You are not crazy or wrong or any thing that anyone wants to gaslight you about. Though it’s hard to know for sure, the counsellors may have been grooming him and engaging in the more emotional version of sexual abuse. While this does not in any way deny what happened to you, if he was learning those behaviours from the counsellors he may have been repeating them with you, which is the vicious cycle of sex abuse; if is horrific and sad and I wish for it to end. It is awful. What happened to you is awful! Your anger is a good thing; your boundaries were violated, you were violated, you said no. You have every right to be outraged. This anger will help you reclaim your power in your journey toward healing. I see you, and you are not alone. You’re allowed to be here; you exist.

I’d recommend finding an EMDR therapist who specialises in trauma. It was the only thing that helped me heal. Also read the book The Body Keeps The Score and The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse ; they changed my life.

Consensually holds hand