https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?keywords=dbt+workbook&qid=1572124498&sprefix=DBT+&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzSEFRSFhUVElCTExaJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNjg5NDk5M1VUVFI1UlRYRFpLSiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNjYzNzkyT0VJRzNUQVJGRktQJndpZGdldE5hbWU9c3BfcGhvbmVfc2VhcmNoX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

One of the tricky things about personality disorders is how hard they are to actually diagnose, it took about 4 months of me acting out before they’d diagnose me. There’s also c-ptsd which can also cause people to have a favorite person. I’m not a professional though, so it could honestly just be ocd and gad.

Here’s the links though

Dbt book i used: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=mp_s_a_1_4?keywords=dbt+workbook&qid=1574590549&sprefix=dbt+&sr=8-4

For anxiety: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-Anxiety/dp/1572249544/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=dbt+workbook+anxiety&qid=1574590865&sprefix=dbt+workbook+anxi&sr=8-3

https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_sspa?keywords=dbt&qid=1570287044&sprefix=dbt&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUFMNkpTU0ZOUUoyTEwmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA4NTQ1MzRBRVFEVllRT0I5RjMmZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMDY2Mzc5Mk9FSUczVEFSRkZLUCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX3Bob25lX3NlYXJjaF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl

That bought that, but the second edition. It’s on Amazon.

Edit: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684034582/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_O7lGDbXC7KN6J

Thank you for the advice. I'll try to respond to each of your points.

1

I'm currently looking for a DBT counsellor in my area. In the meantime I'm reading this amazing DBT workbook that I bought. I'm only on the second chapter but it's helped already.

2

I'm very open and honest with everyone. My life is an open book you could say, so that isn't an issue. Most of my trauma stems from those childhood incidents, primarily my dad and bullies at school. Finding the right therapist is definitely challenging. I had one EMDR therapist that was a former ordained minister, and she constantly prostelyzed to me and tried to convert me... I quit seeing her.

I then went to a trauma center that specializes in childhood trauma and PTSD. They played an audio tape on gratefulness. The tape started okay, be grateful for this, be greatful for that... but then the narrator said "be grateful you aren't a starving black child in Africa". I was instantly triggered, I couldn't believe they actually went there!! I had to plug my ears and tune out the rest of the tape I was so upset and distraught. As soon as the tape ended I spoke up and told the group leaders "that's guilt tripping and negative reinforcement!". A few of the other group members joined in and said "yea, that made me feel bad too". I never went back to that group therapy again.

I kind of gave up on therapy after that. I was going through a stressful move at the time and I had lots of other things to deal with. After those two bad therapy experiences I felt defeated and gave up. I need to give it another try like you said, just keep trying different therapists until I find one that works best for me.

3

The third point is a hard one for me since I have so many overlapping mental and physical issues. My diet is extremely restrictive, I have a lot of food sensitivities. I dropped from 175lbs to 117lbs at one point a couple years ago (I generally fluctuate between 120-140 lbs). I couldn't eat anything without being sick. I'm chronically underweight from avoiding food or being sick. Everything triggers my GERD or iBS, dairy, gluten, sugar, fat. I haven't had a slice of pizza in over 15 years or any my of favourite foods like spaghetti (tomatoes being a big GERD trigger). It just adds further depression and trauma to my life by having such a restrictive diet.

I've been eating chicken/tukey, rice, and brocolli for the past 15 years. That's all I eat, every meal, 3 times a day. It feels like the movie "groundhog day" at times where I can't escape this loop. There are a few other things I can eat such as plums, kiwi, green beans, and different types of rice (bread, noodles, regular, congee). But for the most part I can only eat at most 10 different things. Plain lettuce causes me to throw up or feel sick for hours... Celery too. My stomach is a mess.

Distraction definitely helps and is one of the main techniques I use. I've been relying on a heating pad for the last 7 years which helps a lot. I often just lay in bed with a heating pad on my abdomen for hours. I also watch movies, play games, listen to music, and I go for walks every day (usually 1-2 hours) to get exercise.

Sleep is a very big factor in how I feel on a given day. I have chronic insomnia and struggle getting a decent night sleep. I definitely notice my IBS symptoms are much worse on those days where I get less sleep.

4

I used to use ginger chewables in the past. Nowadays I rely on the benzos (my doctors got me addicted without telling me they were dangerous), the zofran/anti-emetics, and lots of ginger and fennel tea every day. I've also had a medical marijuana perscription since 2016 which helps the physical symptoms and my insomnia, but I find it tends to make my anxiety and the mental side worse unfortunately. I'm currently off the pot again right now but it just makes my physical symptoms unbearable and I eat even less. I find the pot helps a lot with the emetophobia in general. It helps increase my pain threshold a lot, but I also end up binge eating from the munchies and that can cause further GERD and IBS issues. I've had issues with bulimia and purging in the past so this is another issue.

Edit: Accidentally hit enter before I was done. Sorry for the wall of text.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, ... (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684034582/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_-rnVDbWBM2BR2

Do some breathing or other meditation before you go back to sleep. Then add to things during the day:

• More mindfulness meditation
  
• More reality checks during the day
  
• Imagine your dreams or make them up. Vividly go through them during the day.
  
• If you know self-hypnosis, stop the trance phenomena during the day. Again more mindfulness.
  
• Ditch the supplements.
  
• Think a lot about what you want to dream during the day.
  
• In all of your imagination, make sure you have intensity and cross all your modalities with it. Visual, audial, kinesthetic, and digital.
  
• Actively deal with stress and anxiety in your life. Again and for the third time - mindfulness meditation among other methods for this. Make and implement a plan for dealing with stressful realities of your life if there is something that's bothering you. Constant stress kills mindfulness. Not controlling your emotions kills LD work. Get a book about Dialectical Behavior Therapy and begin focusing on things there that jump out at you. I recommend this: https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=sr_1_7?keywords=dialectical+behavior+therapy&qid=1573281613&sr=8-7
  
  And finally, the one thing that very few books focus on or that people mention in blogs . . . . deep physical relaxation. See LaBerge Chapter 2 for more info.
  
  Good luck!

I was diagnosed as autistic at around 12, and the bpd diagnosis wasn’t made until I was 22. r/BPD would be a good place for her to start I think, it’s usually a pretty welcoming and supportive place. You may want to keep an eye out and make sure she knows to avoid anything that may be triggering for her, I haven’t seen too many posts on r/BPD that would be problematic, but I know sometimes on other subs like r/depression or r/CPTSD people have made posts about suicide/self harm or traumatic events that could be stressful to read.

Have you ever heard of Marsha Linehan? She created a workbook that is dedicated to helping people with BPD (and other mental illnesses) learn concepts and techniques to help safely cope when they are in distress. If you are not satisfied with her psych doctor’s efforts, it could be a helpful tool for you to use and learn from at home until she is getting the help she needs. I just did a quick search and found it on amazon, and the overview will give you a much better idea of whether it could be a useful resource. This is the one i found, there are also many other variations of the workbook’s material that could be more appropriate for her specifically.

I understand that completely. I have a six figure job where if people knew what I was doing when I got home, they would be shocked. I also quit drinking a few years ago and convinced myself that this was much better for me and wasn't going to be an issue, but then I basically became a depressed shut in except for work.

I feel your pain, but we'll get through it and be better people for it. I was doing the shame and self-loathing as well, and now when I tell myself "You're a piece of shit", I stop and go "No, that's not true" and I think about the things I've done in my life to make me successful and think about the people that love me. You have to stand up to yourself, which has taken me about a year to get to this point and it's what started me on the road to becoming sober. I didn't do it alone though, I went to therapy and used a work book called "Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook". There's a link below if you're interested in working through it. It's pretty eye opening.


https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=asc_df_1684034582/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=366299527575&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14309115948772840390&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027746&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-818602319988&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=79033899111&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=366299527575&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=14309115948772840390&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9027746&hvtargid=aud-801381245258:pla-818602319988

I’m proud of you for the work you have done. Tardive dyskensia is no joke - I’ve had it 18 years, but it’s mild and worth my sanity and emotional control because being psychotic and emotionally labile can be fatal to me as I’ve considered taking my own life during those times. It sounds like you may not need the abilify, but to work on your PTSD instead. If you can’t afford therapy, there’s a book on DBT with a workbook to practice DBT the first book teaches. Not sure what it is called, but maybe that’s an affordable solution. Hugs. Bipolar is ups and downs and lots of employment concessions to maintain your mood, but you will learn what works for you and what doesn’t and it does get much easier to manage the longer you work at treating it. I imagine you feel hopeless right now, but don’t give up! You can do this!

Edit: I found the workbook. I thought it was two books, but just one
https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1684034582/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?adgrpid=53519019582&gclid=Cj0KCQjwjOrtBRCcARIsAEq4rW6XGZN66mo9hc46pImusjTVEaauz3kR6ZclVL433N2jy34rHKW_Y64aAmemEALw_wcB&hvadid=274736474062&hvdev=m&hvlocphy=1021322&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t2&hvqmt=b&hvrand=16877128836152982828&hvtargid=aud-646675774026%3Akwd-299372292384&hydadcr=22186_10176618&keywords=dbt+therapy+skills+workbook&qid=1572507876&sr=8-3

If you feel your diagnosis isn't right it's best to get a second or third opinion. I know that can be a pain in the ass, but people aren't perfect and diagnosis isn't perfect, either.

Loads of us have both bp and bpd. DBT is IMMENSELY helpful for both. There's a book many of us have used, you can use it on your own or with a group or just with your therapist.

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, ... (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684034582/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_euAXDbJG2DY4Q

Hi Internet fren- this sounds like derealization . It is a subgroup of dissociative disorders.

Not a doc so this is just an opinion. Dissociation seems to be a brain protective measure. The stress pushes your brain as far as it can go, then the breaker switches off/the surge protector trips whatever visual you want to use - and your brain goes into NOPE mode.

The derealization seems to include that foggy state you mention.

One of the suggested treatments is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I couldn’t get the link to work but you can Goog it.

It helps people identify intense emotions and -more importantly- how to notice the lead-up to these emotions. This can help fend off an anxiety situation before it gets to dissociation.

It also teaches distress acceptance and tolerance -as well as practical techniques for slowing your anxiety roll- so if you find yourself surprised, you can cope and not freak out.

Best of all, mindfulness is one of the pillars of the therapy modality.

I don’t have a DBT therapist in my area so I bought this off Amazon. I had the spine removed and scanned it into a PDF. I go through it about once a year.

Hope this helps!