Reddit reviews The Father's Almanac

The Father's Almanac might seem a bit dated now in places, but it's a classic. Also check out ahaparenting.com.

My ex tried to play 'Disneyland dad' during visits when he was still involved. Our kid still didn't care for him much. Be wary of over-correction -- don't let the father's pizza-and-movies-etc make you think the other house has to be all kale and handwriting practice. You should still schedule pizza-and-movie nights; better a kid a little too much junk food than have a lousy relationship with a parent. So long as it is not criminally bad, ignore BD's behaviour. "And BD skips all the activities that BM pays for over those weekends" -- right, well, that's his prerogative; she really shouldn't be trying to schedule activities during his time.

Plenty of people fantasize that Grandma's house with its unlimited cookies etc is the driving force behind bad behaviour at home -- 'he comes home spoiled,' etc -- but Disneyland dads and spoiling grandmothers are not genuinely capable of scuttling good parenting. The sort of bouncy behaviour kids exhibit after time away and indulgences is mostly a sign that it is time to re-connect with them. Mom might want to consciously book a bit of time to be extra present for him on his return -- maybe they can do a craft/building project together, or start a ritual where home from dad's is the time when you get to help make Sunday dinner. Something to give him some focused attention.

> she is looking to me to be more of a parent figure that just the BF

Did she flesh that out any more than that? It's not a good idea to play at parenting without commitment. It's fine to hang around and be a nice positive influence in the kid's life, but I would leave the discipline and parenting to the parents unless it's very clear that you're in it for the long haul.