Reddit reviews The Forked Tongue (Tf08Se)

If you really trust him, and wish to take things to the next level: The Forked Tongue

If you want something a bit more edgy (but pretty good) there's The Forked Tongue

Yes, I very much enjoy playing with power, and in some ways watching the flow and exchanges of power, and the giving and receiving of service is something I've always been aware of (in many ways this is one reason I'm here, responding to worried and unhappy posts and trying to find a way to help people through their worries is service to me, and one I'm permitted to give back to the community at this time). I've always been a sub, although it wasn't until my teens I worked out what the word was for who I am and started working on ways to pay attention to not just offering all my energy out to others.

However I need to pick apart a bit of your post, while I'm submitting to someone it doesn't mean I'm a lesser being, and unless it pleases that person or I'm ordered too I'm not going to act like I'm a lesser being to them, or someone else. Why would someone want me to serve them if I am one of those totally unworthy lesser "I'm a useless worm" type subs (well unless my Dom was kinking on my extreme level of helplessness, if that's your dynamic then awesome go for it with everything you've got), where is the power, where is the service that I might exchange, might offer them the use of?

Sensitivity to power exchange has also played into my political and probably religious thoughts, I'm also an anarchist Discordian (amongst other labels), and in my relationships I maintain what Flagg refers to as the right of last refusal but which I take to be political free association. I can always say no, but in saying no to something to which I have given consential nonconsent I risk ending the association between me and my dominant.

But I have said no to things I haven't given blanket consent statements too, and I have argued and fought for those rights I haven't given up yet. To me power exchange is a vital, living thing - its a dynamic field between the participants that flexes over time back and forth, where theres no point doing it half arsed. If I've given someone the ability to give me orders, I'll be proud to enact those orders, but if they try to step into freedoms I've still got to myself then I'll happily defend those freedoms.

Just because I don't recognise the inherent legitimacy of the state (although I do recognise its existence as Tulpa) does not mean I don't recognise that power is a social current and vital thing exchanged between humans in almost all contexts - we are far evolved monkies and we have hard wired troupe behaviour in our heads, either we recognise and learn to play and work with it, or we let it work against us unseen by our conscious. Certainly I respect my Dominant, and I look up to him, if I didn't think he was morally worthy and a good enough person to use my power well I probably wouldn't offer him use of me, but I don't think that I'm lesser. We're different, we work best with different bits of the power spectrum and enjoy playing with it, I'm not lesser just our society is biased towards seeing everyone who isn't a CEO/Dom type as broken, when some of us fit together productively in non-alpha roles.


Anyway that kind of turned into a rant, so sorry :) So to try and answer your point I'd suggest if you want to be a Dom look for a sub that compliments your style, if you want a sub and don't care for the emotional investment then I guess its not a problem. If you want a sub who you also emotionally invest in then perhaps try a relationship style in which they aren't a lesser being per se, but more your powerful right hand, enabling you to get more shit done :)

There are other possible ways to label the dynamic, one example I saw online once was a power dynamic in which the descriptive labels they chose was Queen/Knight, the idea of a sub as questing, protective knight to his Queen was an interesting one, and I could see how the dynamic could be very different from some others.

Good luck with it, apologies for ranting, apparently I my brain wants to theorise about this stuff so maybe I should go lurk Fet again for discussion :)

http://www.amazon.com/dp/055704961X/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=3488519564&hvqmt=p&hvbmt=bp&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_8et8j4g45_p

Sounds to me like you need this book in your life.
Edit: The price on that particular link is absurd, you can get it for around $10