Reddit reviews The Illustrated Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
We found 9 Reddit comments about The Illustrated Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
The Illustrated Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living
I think you shouldn't underestimate taking action. In fact, I'd make that your priority over meditation right now. And by action, I mean getting outside and socialising with people.
Look into ACT therapy. It's a combination of goal setting, stoicism, exposure therapy, and mindfulness.
Basically, you:
Just over a year ago I had such extreme social anxiety that just leaving the house was a big ordeal. Last night I went to a networking event for an industry I've always wanted to work in, where I met a bunch of strangers and pitched myself to them. It blows my mind just thinking about how far I've come from a similar situation to yourself, so I can 100% vouch for this method.
First step for you would be to find a therapist. If that seems too daunting, make a booking to go see your doctor. If that seems too daunting, just make a booking but tell yourself you dont have to go. You just need to take a little baby step. It's okay if you stumble, just keep trying to take that first step, it'll get easier. The baby step analogy is perfect. If you're ever struggling just ask yourself how long you'd give a baby to learn to walk before you gave up. You wouldn't, right? You just keep trying.
In the mean time you should also read this https://www.amazon.com/Illustrated-Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living/dp/1611801575/ It's a very short illustrated book explaining ACT therapy. ACT stands for acceptance and commitment. Acceptance meaning understanding that life can be tough. But... Committing to take some ACTion anyways.
You should also write down a plan to expose yourself to going outside and socialising which focuses on very very small steps you can take to give yourself small wins, that you can build upon.
For me at the very beginning it was as small as just going outside for a walk. Then I found events that I was interested in where I could just turn up to and wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I found these series of movie talks where I could go listen to a talk, then watch a movie. Just rsvping for those events was a small victory. Then just leaving the house to go to the events was a small victory. Then staying 5 minutes was a small victory. I just kept doing these little baby steps. Building upon my previous victories. Exposing myself to things that scared me at very very small amounts. Always with the knowledge that at the worst, I just go home. And truth be told, in over a year, I haven't had a single negative experience (you know, beyond it being really tough to go outside sometimes!).
You get the idea, right? And at each step, you celebrate it as though you've won a war. A war against yourself.
I think you've already taken your first step by asking on here for advice. You've won your first battle. Go buy that book. Read 5 pages. Google your local doctor. Make a booking. You got this.
Might be worth talking to a psychologist to see if you have postpartum depression (PPD), as some in this thread have suggested.
More generally might be good to work on surfing those difficult thoughts, emotions, and impulses. Check out the book THE ILLUSTRATED HAPPINESS TRAP and the Headspace app (for example).
Source: Am psychologist.
https://www.amazon.com/Illustrated-Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Living/dp/1611801575
https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app
Have you ever heard of the book The Happiness Trap? My EMDR therapist recommended it and I found it helpful for what you're describing.
Life is pretty hard for almost everyone despite how it looks on the outside. I'm not minimizing or comparing your trauma to anyone's. No matter who you are, you will end up having to fight against the universe at some points in your existence and there's no amount of worrying about it that will prevent it and it will actually make it worse.
One thing that has helped me is recognizing that worrying about stuff that might happen feels pretty much indistinguishable from truly going through the bad thing. If it does really end up happening you'll go through it more than once (maybe dozens of times!). If it doesn't happen then you didn't have to go through it at all. The ones you do go through often are not as bad as we catastrophize. Then a few are going to be legit catastrophes and most of those you will never predict/avoid.
It's not automatic or easy. It's a practice just like anything else and the more you walk/talk yourself through the above logic and tell yourself things are going to be ok... the easier it will be and the more things will begin to feel ok. The anxiety won't go away initially, and it probably never will completely but it will not paralyze you because most important to this... DO NOT EVER FORGET THAT YOU ARE FUCKING CHAMPION!!!
You have survived more than most people have had to bear and you are still standing! Yes, you've got wounds to show for it. Battle scars are a testament to your strength, not proof of weakness! Life was unable to take you out while it was at its worst, it's not going to take you out on your way to recovery because you are going to recognize your immense strength more and more as you walk one step at a time into the unknown and you see it's not as black as it seems!
Currently dealing with this as well, even down to the frank discussion of, "this will end at some point."
I have no advice, but am hoping to read some of the advice given to you in hopes it'll help me. Hang in there miss.
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I have a feeling though that we're just bound to have our hearts broken dangit! My therapist suggest this book to possibly help with anxiety: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1611801575/ Working through it now.
Update: had a discussion this morning about this and that and she kinda ended it with, I’m not sure why we need to keep saying there will be an end. Why? We’re enjoying this and I’m enjoying you, I don’t see any reason to end a good thing. So, that’s kinda neat I guess. :)
/u/jugglegod, are you female? I ask because female ADHD plays out a lot differently than what has been generally assumed/stigmatized as typical symptoms. Here is a helpful article discussing the gender bias in diagnosis & how many go undiagnosed under the radar-- like I had!
To answer your question, I am an ENFP with diagnosed female ADHD. This was a good read for me yesterday that /u/sonofkratos submitted to the subreddit-- its about ENFP but you will be able to draw some similarities between behavioral attributes in this article and attributes of female ADHD.
I wasn't formally diagnosed until 2011 (age 21), so I have only been on medication for it since then. It has been extremely helpful in addition to methods I use to approach my symptoms.
A really important point I want to make clear is that in NO way did a diagnosis give me an excuse to use in my interactions with others for the way I am. It empowered me to approach my behavior (INTERrpersonal reactionary & INTRApersonal empathy) with cautionary methods to keep me on track.
The diagnosis helped me understand WHY I was frustrated/depressed--
TL;DR I guess my coping methods are ways of constantly nagging myself-- but my biggest gain has been in developing personal empathy and emotional intelligence. As an ENFP, we're highly emotional/passionate, overthink things, and have trouble with relationships by reacting poorly to those that are close to us when we hold them to our often high (and perhaps unrealistic) expectations.
These two books (here) and (here) have recently helped me a lot in the areas where my ADHD and ENFP collide.
Good luck and sorry for the lengthy post!
Ah, well, get the book then until you can get out of Japan
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1611801575/ref=pd_aw_sim_14_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=0ZHK3S4PVCJ4RCPR954G&dpPl=1&dpID=51Lcde%2BWq6L
Also I just read "The Illustrated Happiness Trap" (currently reading the full version now) and it's pretty phenomenal. Worth a look.
The Happiness Trap: Link
Great book to work with you on the personal level. Helps a lot when you're playing poker, especially when it comes to tilt control.
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