Reddit reviews The Language of Choice Theory

If you can't remember what happened you really do have an anger issue. That's one of the signs. You will not always be like this if you are calling your psychologist. That's a good thing! Is there an anger management class you can take in your city? You can learn how to control your anger from books at the library, but working with a counselor is much faster. So kudos for reaching out for professional help. Remember getting a therapist is a bit like shopping for a car. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right, so if that's the case, try another one.

For starters you can check out [Anger Management for Dummies](https://hmt.es/Anger Management For Dummies.pdf). Flipping through it can help you pinpoint things that are relevant to you and bring them up to your new therapist. Your local library probably has books on "anger management". See if you can search for them online via the library website.

You can't be around people when you're feeling the adrenaline rush from anger. The technique to use is simple, just take a break. Whether it's ten minutes or waiting until the next day, you just say, let's table this. And go for a walk or just to the next room until you are calm again. The rational mind is disengaged when feeling those strong emotions. The goal is to just wait for it to come back by separating yourself from the stimulus, in this case your son.

17 is a really tough age. Worse than 13 in my opinion. By 17 we have learned how to be real jerks to our parents when we want to. We know exactly what buttons to push. So a little extra "positive" communication style can be helpful from both the kids and the parent's sides.

But does your son have any learning disabilities? Is he dyslexic? Is he being bullied or having problems with other students at school? What you see as laziness may really be due to high stress at school. Pressure to do well is a negative thing all by itself for some kids . But he may be in real need of help. The only way to figure that out is to really listen to him and maybe have some conversations with his teachers.

Angry people can be very scary to their loved ones. That's why they leave! They don't want to be hurt. They can't tell if you're going to throw something or hit someone. Even if your anger is only directed at your son, nobody, especially your fiance, likes to see that level of intense anger directed at someone. Your son obviously doesn't know how to deal with you when you're angry. He would benefit from learning how to be assertive in a positive way. You would benefit from learning to control your anger. To recommend a book, this is a pretty good one for you guys: The Language of Choice Theory. When the whole house calms down, she might give you another chance. But she's already been terrorized which is why she left. So she needs time, and may not come back, but you can work on yourself and your son's relationship. You can change! You can do it. It's hard work but it's worth it. Good luck!