Reddit reviews The Leatherman's Handbook, 25th Anniversary Edition
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I've been busy and was hoping some would come in here and explain the Leather Man idea that seems pretty central to homosexual BDSM lifestyle.
Basically it really began after the korean and vietnam war with veterans returning from war and looking for the same structure in sex.
Here are some sources on the history. It's the basis for the history of kink in general and I find a lot of gays respect the history more than a straight couple into bdsm. There is a lot to explain so if you want to learn, here is a good resource. Maybe someone older who is more trained in the old guard, or even is a part of the history could take it on.
Leather Man's Handbook
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leather_subculture