Reddit reviews The Power of Two Workbook: Communication Skills for a Strong & Loving Marriage (A New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook)

You've already received some great responses here, so hopefully you find mine just as helpful. As a fellow child of divorce, here's my experience:

I went into my adulthood determined to not make the same mistakes my parents did. I vowed that if I ever go married, I wouldn't get divorced. I just wouldn't let that happen to my family. One big problem with that theory: It assumed that I had control over the whole situation. Oops.

I got married, for all the wrong reasons, to someone I didn't love, didn't really know, and was wholly unprepared to be married.

Not only did I make the same mistakes my parents did, I refused to admit that I was making the exact same mistakes. The final bullet to the back of the head for my marriage was the fact that I married an addict.

"If I knew then what I know now..." I would never have married my first wife.

Here are my suggestions on how to best prepare yourself to prevent the same mistakes from happening to you:

• Read books and articles on marriage. Lots of them. Read secular books like The Power of Two about how to maintain a healthy marriage and build good communication. Read Christian books like Love and Respect to gain additional perspective and insight on what marriage is supposed to look like.
  
  
• Get married to the right person for the right reasons. The wrong reasons: "Because our friends are doing it; I'm supposed to at this age; We've been together for 3 years now, it's the next logical step; Her and/or my parents are pressuring us to do it. The right reasons: She is my best friend, and I want to build a life together with her. She wants to be with me, and neither of us want to imagine a future without each other.
  
  
• Is your wife your best friend? The basis of a quality marriage is friendship. She should be your first friend, your closest friend, your most important ally and confidant--and you should be hers. It can't be one way. Both of you can have friends outside the partnership that you are close with. You can have some friends that know all about your professional dreams. Some friends can know all your fears about diving off the high dive at the swim club. Other friends can know that one thing that will always embarrass you. Your SO should be the only one that knows them all, plus all the other fears that NO ONE knows about. Your spouse should know all the deepest darkest secrets, fears, dreams, hopes, insecurities--and you should know hers.
  
  
• Make time for each other on a regular basis. This is easy to do in the newlywed phase. But as your marriage carries on and career, kids, and everyday life add mountains of stress, this gets harder. The successful couples are the couples that make time to talk to each other even in the midst of a busy workday. They have a date night each week, without fail. They go away together for a weekend without kids at least once a quarter. They go to marriage seminars or workshops once a year or every other year.
  
  
• Treat your marriage as a living organism, not a piece of paper. The most common mistake I see among divorcing couples, in real life and here in this sub, is that one or both spouses didn't make their spouse and their marriage a priority. They just thought that "if I marry the right person, the marriage will just be magical all by itself." Your garden doesn't grow (well) without a lot of care. There are weeds to be pulled. The plants require fertilizing. They require lots of sunlight. They need water. You have to protect them from wildlife and insects. A garden that is left unattended all summer may produce some vegetables, but they won't be very healthy and there won't be a lot of them. And you'll be very discouraged next spring when its time to plant a garden again. Tend the plants, feed and water them, weed the garden, and you'll have a very healthy, vibrant harvest at the end of the growing season. One that you'll be proud of, and look forward to planting again in the spring.
  
  What are the weeds, animals, and insects that can harm your garden (your marriage)? Infidelity, insecurity, selfishness, materialism, workaholism. What are the fertilizer and sunlight you need to help your garden? Great communication, making your marriage a priority in your life, investing in your marriage like any other important asset in your life.
  
  Above all, make sure that your SO feels the same way in all of these areas. If she doesn't agree (wants to be in a open relationship, likes partying, doesn't like spending time with you, avoids confrontation, is insecure, whatever--these are all red flags that you should NOT ignore) then talk to her about the areas of disagreement. If she's inflexible, consider it a dealbreaker. Trust me when I say this, if she's not on board now, she sure as shit won't be on board 10 years, 2 kids, and 20 lbs from now. You both need to be in the boat, and willingly and enthusiastically rowing in the same direction ON EVERYTHING.
  
  Good luck.

The Power of Two Workbook. https://www.amazon.com/Power-Two-Workbook-Communication-Marriage/dp/1572243341/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1542778149&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=the+power+of+two&dpPl=1&dpID=416T4cEnyTL&ref=plSrch