Reddit reviews Viva Naturals Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil, 32 Ounce

Some of my friends accuse me, with some justice, of thinking that exchanging loving sensual massages is the cure to all sexual problems. In my case, I went through a period of zero interest in sex and, worse yet, zero arousal when we tried to have sex, so what little sex we had was terrible. We did a number of things, mostly aimed at reducing stress and helping me manage stress better, but what got my motor humming again was learning sensual massage with my partner and doing it regularly. The experience really made a believer out of me, and I have seen the same approach work wonders with other couples who are going through a sexual drought.

At the start, my SO would give me a full-body massage with no touch allowed in the genital area. I did his massage without that restriction, but also with no obligation for me to do anything for him. We started out doing 20 minutes each and gradually worked up. There's an account of how we managed online. This is from the discussion below the main post:

> We started going very, very slowly, working on the meditation and other kinds of stress management and exchanging full-body massages, with no sex at first, just learning how to do massage and learning what felt good and melted the tension away.

> This took several months, and I gradually began to feel like I was starting to wake up, just faint stirrings inside, but enough to wonder what would happen if we pushed things another notch. I started playing around, trying different kinds of caresses for getting him aroused. And along the lines of learning tantra, I started seeing how close I could get him to the brink of an orgasm and how long I could keep him there without going over, and also discovering what effects that had on his orgasms when he did finally finish.

> Part of this was me wanting to do something for him even if I wasn't in a position to share it, but I have to confess that a lot of it was pure curiosity on my part, my inner "mad scientist" coming out. Because I was standing beside the massage table I could actually see every reaction, every involuntary response to what I was doing. And it was like, here's this great biological and neurological puzzle, figuring out how the human male - or this human male - responds to tactile stimuli, and I couldn't resist the challenge! :)

> Eventually we switched the sequence, with me giving him the first massage. And doing that, and edging him for a good long while to a really strong orgasm, actually got me somewhat aroused. Then when he started massaging me, that just keep building a little bit at a time, so I encouraged him to try being more erotic, and having him gently massage my breasts and vulva actually felt good for the first time in ages!

> The progression was gradual, but I think I had my first orgasm in ages a few weeks later, and we had sex after the massages a few more weeks after that, for the first time in months. There was a lot of other stuff going on, including serious meditation practice and lots of non-sexual cuddle time. And the external situation was getting better for both of us too.

I know that massage therapy doesn't work for everyone. Some people dislike any kind of touch in this situation, not just sexual touch. But most people love getting a massage, and the hardworking mom of a two-year-old really deserves one! (Right?)

So if re-establishing loving touch is the goal, the question is whether she will allow you to give this a try. Does she like backrubs? Do they relax her when she's stressed? If so, you might suggest doing something like this as a way of helping her relax and as a way of sharing affection without having sex. Make it clear that giving her a massage isn't intended as foreplay, or as a bargaining chip to get her to give you something. Sex has to be completely off the table (heh!) unless she actually WANTS to do more.

If she agrees to give it a try, buy a folding massage table (under $90 from Amazon) and some virgin coconut oil, and maybe a good book on sensual massage with tasteful, completely non-pornographic photos. Start out with back rubs, and incorporate legs, arms, hands, and feet. Avoid the chest, abdomen, and crotch until she says otherwise. The butt can be off limits to start with or not, depending on whether she sees it as a sexualized area or just a spot that feels great when massaged.

Because of her upbringing and discomfort with nudity, you may need to cover the parts of her body that you are not working on with a couple of towels. It may seem silly to cover parts that are going to be seen and touched eventually, but some people feel much more vulnerable if they are completely uncovered all at one time. If she's one of them, be prepared with extra towels and adjust them as you go. If you have to, you can give a good massage without exposing more than a couple of square feet of skin at a time. Dimming the lights way down may also help her relax.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

Use coconut oil, then. 120cal per tablespoon. Amazon