Reddit reviews You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective

• talk to a counselor or psychologist if possible
  
  Are there any reasons you can think of you would be depressed?
  
  EDIT: I just read the other comments.
  
  SO - you need to exercise. That will help. You need sunlight and time out doors. You also need to set some goals for yourself, and work on a vision of the kind of life you’d like to have.
  
  I’m very sorry you’re depressed. I struggled with this for about 10 years. This book helped me a lot:
  
  You Can Be Happy No Matter What
  
  I’ll post some separate comments with my scriptures for depression.
  
  Don’t give up!

I think You Can Be Happy No Matter What is great. I read it a long time ago, and its lessons about changing your perspective on your emotional reactions and the power they have over you have stuck with me to this day.

A few months ago I read a book named "You Can Be Happy No Matter What: Five Principles for Keeping Life in Perspective." Bear with me, my memory isn't too good and lent the book to a friend so I can't skim through it as a refresher, but basically what I remember was the author describing happiness as the natural state. Contentedness is what you feel when your mind isn't burdened with stress, fears, doubts, and "what ifs." Think of the last time you were happy - was it laughing with friends? Perhaps watching a sunset? Fleeting moments like those when you feel happiness, even for a few seconds, are proof of this belief that positive feelings come through when you drop all the negative thoughts weighing you down.

Those negative thoughts don't do as much for you as you think they do. Some would argue that they do nothing. Have you ever browsed /r/seddit, /r/selfhelp, or similar subreddits, where they claim the secret to confidence is faking it til you make it - releasing your doubts and fears because all they do is weigh you down and make you hesitate? It's the same concept here. Aside from letting you know the severity of the situation, or giving you some motivation, fears do not serve much more function. Sure, the economy sucks, your finances are not as great as they could be, and maybe your health, or the health of your loved ones aren't perfect. But worrying about it isn't going to do you any good but waste your time, weaken your mental will, and over time this stress will wear you down emotionally and physically. Additionally, things could be a lot worse. Be glad you live in a first world country, that have a roof over your head, clean water, some nutrition, and that you are most likely free from debilitating constant pain, and that you have more than a few days to live. If you focus on all the negative things in your life - what you don't have, instead of all the things you DO have that you take for granted, what do you think will happen? Of course you wont be happy. Even if conditions improve, if you always focus on what you don't have, contentedness will elude you. Remember that there are people in the world who would be fucking ecstatic to have some of the things you take for granted - citizenship, human rights, clean water, access to technology, freedom of speech/religion, etc...

If you wait for your life to be perfect before allowing yourself to stop worrying/doubting and letting yourself be happy, you will be waiting forever. Even the rich, the powerful, the social butterflies with hundreds of friends have their problems.

Got sidetracked. One of the things in the book that stood out for me was how sometimes, we allow thoughts that aren't necessarily true to ruin our day/loom over us for hours. For example, if you drop a fork in a restaurant and as you lean down to pick it up, you spot a man staring at you with what appears to be a judgemental look, you may think to yourself, "What is his problem? Hasn't he ever dropped anything before? What a jerk!" You get defensive in your mind, and you cannot shake this feeling of irritation for the rest of the day. You allow it to ruin lunch with your friend, and your mood is just darkened for hours. In reality, that guy didn't even notice that you dropped your fork. He was just staring off into the distance, lost in thought. Or maybe he was looking at something behind you, yet your THOUGHTS over something not necessarily true allowed you to ruin your day. All those hours you could have been happy are gone forever. Whether or not he was actually judging you is not relevant. Let go of these negative thoughts, because they don't serve you any good. You may think he wronged you by misjudging you, but if you let yourself continue to be angry, you are only continuing wronging yourself by not allowing yourself to be happy. Some would also argue that anger negatively affects the body in terms of physical health. Either way, letting go of this negative internal dialogue may allow you to be more content, or at the very least, less unhappy.

So basically, it's as simple as letting go of the thoughts/doubts/fears that make you unhappy. Just stop entertaining those thoughts. Let them go. It's honestly that simple. IT MAY NOT BE EASY, but it's simple.

Edit: Here is the google books preview for the book I am talking about. It is worth a skim!

There's a book you should check out that completely altered my way of thinking about the path to my own happiness.

Here it is on Amazon

It's not about meditation, and please do not judge this book by it's cover (or it's title). It doesn't push "the power of positive thinking" or anything, but it helped me understand more about the connections between our thoughts and our feelings.

Give it a read, when you can.

Therapy is also a good idea. It's always great to talk our thoughts out with someone who can help us explore avenues of thought, and possible solutions, that we might blind ourselves to. Just getting it off our chest increases courage and confidence. Sometimes the hardest part is to just say it all out loud.

I'm so happy to hear you've found meditation. Stick with it. Keep us updated on your progress. This is a great community, and you'll find a lot of good guidance and discussions here.

And play with your dog as often as possible... cause I currently don't have a dog, and I'm jealous. No no no, I meant to say... cause dogs evolved along with us specifically to be our best friends. And simply having at least one unyielding positive connection with the universe is really what it's all about.