(Part 2) Best christian relationship books according to redditors

If you think you can come on this sub and find a simple solution to finding a spouse, you're making a terrible mistake. If you think that a group of strangers, Christians or no, can tell you what you're doing wrong, you're making a mistake.

For now, I'm not particularly sure how reading your Bible and praying more to get closer to Jesus are going to help you find a wife. Those things are going to help you get closer to God, sure, but in the privacy of your own home. Get out there and join some ministries––work with other people in as many capacities as you can. Doing volunteer stuff through church is a great way to meet like minded people. That's about the best advice I can offer since I know literally nothing about you.

edit: by "popular" demand, you should read this book. It's actually very helpful for making good decisions. it will not, however, magically find you a girlfriend.

I am married to an agnostic and I'll tell you one thing: be very careful and considerate here. A marital relationship between a Christian and a non-Christian brings with it a variety of unique challenges (depending to a certain degree on the two people involved). I'd give this book a quick read if you have the time. I know the author and her and I have discussed interfaith relationships before and even ended up making similar choices for our marriages (ex. not having children).

Loved the book, 30 Day Marriage Makeover

It gave me a fresh perspective on the functionality and passion that should be in a marriage.

I have some of the same feelings as not being able to form deeper connections and it leads me to feel lonely even when I' around others. I also have a perfectionistic streak.

One of my friends recommended Scary Close by Donald Miller to me. I haven't read it yet, but I've read a couple of his other books and I really like him as an author. I think that he has some good insights on life. I'd definitely recommend his book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years too.

I am a Christian - Protestant, Evangelical as well. This is something that I have been thinking through for the past few months. I recently finished David Platt's newest book Radical: Taking back your faith from the American Dream.

This book has slowly been making its rounds across the Evangelical spectrum. It's reponse has been mixed but the message is basically the American Dream (acquire massive wealth, success, fame, etc) is anti-thetical to the Gospel.

This is something that many American Christians understand and try to find a balance on, for others this is a spiritual blind spot.

And You Are Christ's

The Courage to be Chaste

Happy to help! Also one last little paragraph of advice if you want it:

Check out this book whenever you have some time. Also listen to some of Jordan Peterson's lectures. He gets a bad wrap in some circles and it mostly comes form people who seem to be attached to the very things he teaches people how to let go of. He and his lectures have taught me a massive amount about how to become the master of my own fate and become the sort of person I can respect. :)

I don't need to imagine. I was subjected to this by a licensed public school school counselor, and a licensed therapist employed by the United Methodist Youth ministries.

I was given a little gem of literature called Eros Defiled, and by gem I mean seditious mind fuck.

Then I was subjected to electro shock aversion therapy by this "Good Christian."

I was pressured to not tell my family until I was "cured" so they weren't aware, although probably would have sanctioned it.

The word harm cannot even closely describe the torture and subsequent years of self hatred I suffered. I could spend a good two hours or more describing exactly how much harm was done.

A number of months ago the minister for the Methodist church that participated in this dug me up out of the old rolls, and managed to find me here in New York! He called me, no shit! I spent a couple hours on the phone telling him rather pointedly what happened and what I think of the modern practices of the western church. I made him cry. He called back one more time for another attempt at getting me to a local Methodist church, and he cried again.

He hasn't called back.

EDIT: Verbiage and clarity.

Apparently you have not read Book of Gomorrah: An Eleventh-Century Treatise against Clerical Homosexual Practices or Penitential of Bede

> The practice of individual confession of sins to a priest started in the Irish monasteries in the latter sixth century. With individual confession came the Penitential Books, another valuable source for church history. These were unofficial manuals drawn up by various monks to assist in their private counseling with penitents in confession. These books listed the various and sundry acts which the church considered sinful and provided guidance on the acceptable penance to be imposed. The Penitentials provide a vivid glimpse into the darker side of Christian life at the time. Though it is not known exactly how many such books were written, the more prominent ones have been preserved, studied and translated. Several of these refer to sexual crimes committed by clerics against young boys and girls. The Penitential of Bede (England, 8th century) advises that clerics who commit sodomy with young boys be given increasingly severe penances commensurate with their rank, the higher ranking (bishops) receiving harsher penalties. The regularity with which mention is made of clergy sex crimes shows that the problem was not isolated, was known in the community and was treated more severely than similar acts committed by lay men. The Penitential Books were in use from the mid 6th century to the mid 12th century.
>
>The most dramatic and explicit condemnation of forbidden clergy sexual activity was the Book of Gomorrah of St. Peter Damian, completed in 1051. The author had been a Benedictine monk and was appointed archbishop and later cardinal by the reigning pope. Peter Damian was also a dedicated Church reformer who lived in a society wherein clerical decadence was not only widespread and publicly known, but generally accepted as the norm. His work, the circumstances that prompted it and the reaction of the reigning pope (Leo IX) are a prophetic reflection of the contemporary situation. He begins by singling out superiors who, prompted by excessive and misplaced piety, fail to exclude sodomites (chap. 2). He asserts that those given to “unclean acts” not be ordained or, if they are already ordained, be dismissed from Holy Orders (chap. 3). He holds special contempt for those who defile men or boys who come to them for confession (chap. 6). Likewise he condemns clerics who administer the sacrament of penance (confession) to their victims (chap. 7). The author also provides a refutation of the canonical sources used by offending clerics to justify their proclivities (chap. 11, 12). He also provides chapters which assess the damage done to the church by offending clerics (chap. 19, 20, 21). His final chapter is an appeal to the reigning pope (Leo IX) to take action.

Reference: A VERY SHORT HISTORY OF CLERGY SEXUAL ABUSE IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH by Rev. Thomas Doyle, J.C.D., C.A.D.C.

Have you heard of the "billy graham rule"? Maybe what I'm disagreeing with isn't as widespread as I thought but for one example: I'm part of a fb group for a reformed podcast on marriage. The hosts interviewed the author of this book: https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Friendships-Retaking-Male-Female-Friendship/dp/1514803259 and the fb group went crazy with people decrying friendships b/w men and women as not worth the risk of infidelity ect...

this.

As often as you can, put your phone on airplane mode or just shut it off. When your phone is on, keep it somewhere else where it's accessible, but inconvenient (like near the door, or in a bedroom).

Also check out this book called "Choosing to Cheat" by Andy Stanley (Amazon). It has nothing to do with infidelity, and everything to do with spending and buying your time.

Full disclosure: My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and we're not even close to what you're making financially, so our life is very different. However, I'm still a dad who wants more time with his family too :) All the best to you and yours!

Why Small Groups is what we used to train our leaders and our church in what small groups are all about.

New England is a place where people are used to Bible Study. Training them out of that can sometimes be difficult.

And IMHO, most women don't have appearance in their "top 3 things to look for in a guy". So really, you don't have too much to worry about. It's not written by Catholics (they actually do a really good job of not using their religion to justify things), but I think you might find this book particularly insightful. http://www.amazon.com/For-Young-Men-Only-Gender/dp/160142020X

In preparing for several presentations on the topic of Christian Sexuality for young adults and young adult leaders, I found Lauren Winner's Real Sex to be excellent. Written before she was married and while she was struggling with her understanding of chastity, I think it's one of the most honest reads on the topic. It is both thought-provoking for discussion and practical.

The book Just a Minute is filled with similar stories; the life of a child being changed forever by the simple act of an adult.

Counter to that https://www.amazon.com/What-Did-You-Expect-Redesign/dp/143354945X

Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women https://www.amazon.com/dp/0982580703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_ShiZDb5AQKYK6

Also:
(FYI, this guy is a REAL asshole with zero self-awareness IRL, but his arguments and principles in the book are good. I was in a FB group with both of these guys. Dan is a true mentor and teacher. Josh is a jerk.)
Forbidden Friendships: Retaking the Biblical Gift of Male-Female Friendship https://www.amazon.com/dp/B012DMEUNU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_4iiZDbBBTAYAN

I'm going to suggest two books:this and this one comes from a liberal standpoint and the other is conservative.

Last christmas my mom got me this book: Coming Out of Homosexuality and told me it would help with my "homosexual lifestyle". I still like vaginas.

what is this?

From the conservative side, I recommend Sexual Morality in a Christless World by Matthew Rueger. It covers scriptural arguments, scientific studies, and history.