(Part 2) Top products from r/AsianParentStories

Giving you a big virtual hug. I am really happy that it was helpful to you.

Psych professor! Way to go girl! As a psychology student myself, I'll say that you have an exciting road ahead of you. You definitely have what it takes to be a good psychology professor (introspection (analyzing your problems), acknowledgement of environmental influences on behavior, perceptiveness (analyzing your parents' behavior and anticipating their actions (well, anticipating behavior is a very important part in psychology)).

Also, you know what, while studying, I realized that my experiences with mental problems do personally help me have a better understanding of what others go through and while I am still annoyed with them some times, I now consider them my assets, aces in the sleeves. Also, you know what? Going to therapy can give you a head start : you have a better understanding of what your clients go through and one of my teachers said that some supervisors recommend future therapists to go through therapy themselves for at least a session. You can read up on cognitive behavioral therapy and aaron beck.

If you want a head start, I recommend you those books :

https://www.amazon.ca/Lifespan-Development-Sixth-Canadian-6th/dp/0134431316/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524675504&sr=1-2&keywords=helen+bee

https://www.amazon.ca/Introduction-Learning-Behavior-Russell-Powell/dp/1305652940/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524675070&sr=1-1&keywords=powell+learning

https://www.amazon.com/Gender-Psychological-Perspectives-Linda-Brannon/dp/1138182346/ref=dp_ob_title_bk (read the chapters on cognitive abilities, sexuality and relationships)

https://www.amazon.ca/Sex-Gender-Hilary-M-Lips/dp/0073405531/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1524675348&sr=1-1 (read the chapter on mentl and physical health)

As you may have guessed, those are my class textbooks. You can find those books as free online pdf or in the library of most universities. I absolutely LOVED reading through Lifespan development, and Powell's book on learning psychology, I cackled and snorted my way through reading page after page after page that exposed the ignorance of "my parents", and the inefficiency/negative effects of their practices. Just by assimilating that knowledge, it made me feel optimistic that I have the potential to be a way better person than my abusers. As for the last two books, they demolished with merciless uppercuts and hooks the sexist stereotypes of "my culture", they showed data explaining why those stereotypes are baseless and harmful. It was very healing and satisfying to read the books on gender difference, and it was a joy trip for me to read them while listening to the soundtrack of Sense8 and sipping an ice cold beer. It made me feel freed and in complete awe in front of a bigger world that is not limited anymore by "my family's" close mindedness.

Buy a copy of this book.

Get a job. If you like your job, try to move up in that line of work. If you don't like your job, look around for other opportunities.

That hundred grand is a sunk cost. What matters is what you do now, with the skills and knowledge that you have, and what you can do in the future with the skills you can gain.

Well that's intergenerational narcissism in the family tree then–it's not wrong per se, but yes, it can be hypocritical at your angle of insight. I don't doubt that children will likely resort to narcissism because their parents had such characteristics within their personality as well–the lack of self love and nurture during parenting/upbringing causes us to prop up this defensive barrier. I would say I am guilty of that too, but I am self-aware and adamantly working on untangling it. The narcissism has to come from somewhere and it's usually narcissistic parents–or some sort or developmental trauma-ta (e.g. childhood).

http://www.amazon.com/Traumatic-Narcissism-Relational-Subjugation-Perspectives/dp/0415510252

Case in point, an unrealized narcissistic calling their parents narcissistic is well... narcissism! What do you expect? :D

Oh man, where to start...

Here is the easy suggestion:

1. Can you stay at the said friends, professor, and co-worker?
   
   Here is the hard suggestion: Develop better inner strength and personal boundary. Here is a short list. We are not all that different than domestic abuse victims, we tend to play down or rationalize the abuse and go back for more ("It will be different this time" or "I must give him another chance" or "I will do thing differently this time"). I am no saint myself. You need to confront the real reason why you are willingly participate your cycle of abuse, because all of the reason you gave for going back to live with them can be achieved by living with a friend, short term rental, or hotel. Despite how your privacy is important to you, you still decide to risk it (your mind is probably made up about living at home despite whatever I say) and hoping to band-it it with some quick fix.
   
   Protecting yourself and your life take a lot of effort and a lot of inner strength. It is really hard and sometimes it hurts. Your family has not yet earn the privilege of having you living at home. You are a precious person, your life your way, and if you don't see yourself as such, then you are only going to get hurt.

If you don't like counselors or any other method that involves talking to someone there is another way. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy

You know that voice inside your head that tells you bad things? CBT is a method of retraining that voice and to change your thinking pattern.

Heres a book I recommend:

http://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380810336/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427450877&sr=1-3&keywords=cognitive+behavioral+therapy