(Part 3) Top products from r/AskNYC

I'm going to expand on this comment because I've read the book and I think the gender ratio is HUGELY important when discussing this topic. Here's a link to it.

> According to 2012 population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey, there are 5.5 college-educated women in the U.S, between the ages of 22 and 29 versus 4.1 million such men. In other words, the dating pool for college graduates in their twenties really does have 33 percent more women than men - or four women for every three men. Among college grads age 30 to 39, there are 7.4 million women versus 6.0 million men, which is five women for every four men. These lopsided gender ratios may add up to sexual nirvana for heterosexual men, but for heterosexual women - especially those who put a high priority on getting married and having children in wedlock - they represent a demographic time bomb.

The book goes into more detail with almost an entire chapter on Manhattan itself, as the much larger gay and lesbian population in NYC skews the ratio even more than the national average.

> Gates's analysis helps explain why the Manhattan dating market feels so much tougher on heterosexual women than the raw population count implies. If 11 percent of the under-40 male population is gay and 1.5 percent of the under-40 female population is lesbian, that means Manhattan's man deficit among heterosexual, marriage-age, college grads is not smaller than the national average, but larger.

> Much larger.

> Subtract the estimated gay and lesbian population from Manhattan's total population count, and you wind up with a hetero dating pool with 39 percent more college-educated women than men age 22 to 29 - not 26 percent more. For the youngest college grads, the math is even gloomier ... For college grads age 22 to 29, removing the gay and lesbian population from the numbers pushes the over supply of women relative to men up from 39 percent to 54 percent - the equivalent of three women for every two men. And even these adjusted numbers may be too low, as gay men are more likely to be college educated than straight men, according to Gates.

Having such a ratio also changes the behavior of men in the city, making them less likely to settle down. There were studies on fish where they introduced more females than males to a population, and conversely more males than females. You can probably guess the results.

> Consider the behavior of pond cichlids, a species of fish that is typically momogamous during mating season. When zoologiest experimented with altering sex ratios in a controlled population of cichlids, even small manipulations had profound impacts on the male cichlids' likelihood of staying committed to their female mates.
>
> Increasing the ratio of male cichlids to females from 6:6 to 7:5 cut the male desertion rate in half - from 22 percent to 11 percent. It also rendered females choosier about males and made the successful male suitors more protective of their families. The end result was a kind of underwater patriarchy - one in which male cichlids fought each other for access to mates, jealously guarded their females after mating, and then, after the fry were born, made greater investments in parenting (be it through direct parenting effort or via the providing of resources such as food or protection)
>
> Some of these behavior patterns are surely quite familiar to anyone who has spent time in nightclubs, dive bars, or other spots where single men and women routinely socialize. Like the male cichlids, men get reflexively more protective of "their" women when more men enter the physical space.
>
> A more surprising finding from the animal studies involved what happened when sex ratios were manipulated to make the females more plentiful. Fro the cichlids, a decrease in male-to-female sex ratios from 6:6 to 5:7 yielded a hugely disproportionate behavioral response. Male desertion rates more than doubled - from 22 percent to 51 percent. In other words, a seemingly small shift in the female share of the cichlid population transformed the prevailing mating culture from one of monogamy to one of polygyny, which is males mating with multiple females but females mating with only one male. "Males increasingly deserted their mates and the young in their care as the opportunity to re-mate increased in their environment," wrote Mart Gross, a University of Toronto zoology professor, in an article published in 2005.
>
> Presumably male cichlids do no act this way out of piscine malice or misogyny. They do it because it is biologically rational. A goal for males of all species is to pass along their genes to the next generation. When sex ratios are balanced or are lopsided in favor of more males, males have a strong genetic incentive to stick with their original mates and to actively participate in the care and protection of young. When females are more abundant, however, the mating game shifts in favor of the male having multiple broods. Even if one or more broods are abandoned by the male and left vulnerable to predators, the male cichlid is still likely to produce more offspring overall. In such an environment, male reproductive strategies tend to emphasize mating effort at the expense of parenting effort, simply because the value of monogamy declines as the ratio of males to females declines. In nature, when females are plentiful, natural selection favors those males that mate with more than one female.

I could cite the book all day but seriously, go read it. There are other cities that don't have as much of a gender disparity and where you'll have a statistically better chance of finding a boyfriend (like the bay area for example). I mean who knows, maybe you'll get lucky here?

...maybe.

What is your particular interest? I can offer you some general suggestions, but if you are interested in a certain era or neighborhood or person I can point you in that direction too.

For a succinct history going up until the 2000s, look to The Restless City. If you are more interested in power politics of the 20th Century, The Power Broker is the definitive source (boo Robert Moses). Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Burning is a great look at the city in 1977, a tumultuous time both politically and socially.

Much of the history of the city after the mid-19th Century centers around the development of railroads, elevated trains and the subway system. 722 Miles and A Century of Subways are both excellent books about the growth and evolution of the transit network. I picked up Grand Central: How a Train Station Transformed America for the 100th Anniversary of the Terminal, and it was an informative and lively read.

The second best thing to therapy is self-therapy workbooks. CBT and DBT are both used for a variety of issues with a great deal of success. These workbooks are cheap, they're easy to follow, they are surprisingly very effective, and you have nothing to lose. You can take all the time you need by dedicating a little time each day to read and do the activities in the books.

FYI: DBT in particular has been noted for being more successful than traditional therapy in at least one study for suicidal tendencies.

Dar-Us-Salam located at 486 Atlantic Ave in Brooklyn.

They have a wide collection. If you are looking for easy-to-read Arabic, I would say it is best to read an English translation separately along with a Qur'an with large Arabic font, since the translations are usually by each line. One good translation is the Oxford World Classics edition of the Qur'an, by M.A.S. Abdel Haleem. It's highly recommended.

If you want both English and Arabic, the most comprehensive exposure I've personally had is with the following two:

1. Holy Qur'an by Abdullah Yusuf Ali - It has a great commentary of historical narratives in addition to the translation.
   
   
2. The Noble Qur'an by Muhammad Taqi-ud-Din al-Hilali and Muhammad Muhsin Khan - It's pretty comprehensive in explaining the translation.
   
   All 3 books can be found at that book store. You may call them to confirm, just in case.
   
   

I love Say Hello. I don’t think it’s specifically NYC, but the author/illustrator is a New Yorker and it still feels very NYC... particularly if your friend is somewhere more rural or small town.

Edit: I happened to dig this up and it is definitely meant to be NYC. Great choice for a children’s librarian! u/polygraphicmemory

It’s definitely more of a younger kids book but I used to love this back in the day. It’s titled Subway sparrow https://www.amazon.com/Subway-Sparrow-Sunburst-Book/dp/0374471290

Well it's not a bakery recommendation but the banana bread recipe in The New York Cookbook is the best I've ever tasted.

The Essential New York Times Cookbook: Classic Recipes for a New Century https://www.amazon.com/dp/0393061035/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_D8O1Db1SPG1G2

I follow the nyt cooking on Instagram and it’s great. the cookbook is from 2011.


Old Penn Station https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805079254/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_X.O1DbGHSJA48

The old penn station is a fascinating story. This mistake lead nyc to create and preserve old landmarks.

No problem, and let us know if you check it out! Also, the book "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman" got me interested in this stuff. If you've never read it, I highly recommend it - really amazing guy with incredible stories.

This is the late 80s, not 90s, but it's a fantastic book filled with high quality aerial photos. I love looking through it because the city has changed so much since then.

The Warmth of Other Suns is about the migration Northeast and to the Midwest to escape the Jim Crow laws of the South.

And early on, NYC absolutely had slaves, freed slaves and indentured servants. Look up the NYC Slave Revolt of 1741.

Weird.
I have this one it works awesome especially for small rooms. Ozone smell goes away and it just smells clean. https://www.amazon.com/Commercial-Generator-Purifier-Deodorizer-Eliminator/dp/B07WSSY8YK/ref=sr_1_5?keywords=ozone+generator&qid=1570802230&sr=8-5

The book Gotham is really solid. I had the author as a professor in college and he was a fountain of awesome information from the 1600's to present day. It also includes world events that affect the city in one way or another. Last I checked he was working on Gotham 2, from 1900-present day.

"Up in the Old Hotel" by Joseph Mitchell (who wrote for "The New Yorker" magazine in the 1940s and 50s). Beautifully written profiles of obscure but fascinating people, places, saloons, neighborhoods, etc. in old NYC, many no longer around. Informative, wistful, sublime, and transporting. http://www.amazon.com/Up-Old-Hotel-Joseph-Mitchell/dp/0679746315/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449304735&sr=8-1&keywords=up+in+the+old+hotel

Hopefully this one isn't news to you: http://www.amazon.com/740-Park-Richest-Apartment-Building/dp/0767917448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1462417119&sr=8-1&keywords=740+park

There's a cookbook: https://smile.amazon.com/Bubbys-Brunch-Cookbook-Favorite-Restaurant/dp/0345511638

If it's the same Buddy's? Sure you can find it online, or something similar, with a little digging if it's in the book.

Yes, that would be the biggest challenge. I recommend the book No Man's Land by Ruth Fowler. It is the story of a Brit who had to become a stripper to survive in NYC as an illegal immigrant.

https://www.amazon.com/Devils-Playground-Century-Pleasure-Profit/dp/0375759786

Check out the Albert Ellis institute. This book. And no reason not to check out Man's Search for Meaning. That's all I got.

Fuck, yeah.

One of us even wrote a book about it.

https://www.amazon.com/F-Word-Jesse-Sheidlower/dp/0195393112/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1499955252&sr=8-2&keywords=the+f+word